bitches w/ knives

today's topic: hookups

intro this story.
tarantino style.....

her: WHO THE FUCK is THIS CHICK?!? WHY IS SHE TEXTING YOU @ 6AM..... AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU....MU-THA-FUCK-IN....
Bob: .....? that's my sister, that message has been there since she sent it. it hasn't been read.
her: DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID??!? **puts knife closer to my nose**
Bob: no. but, you do need to calm down...and hand me my phone.

Feb. 2007

@ the house

i'm at the crib listening to game theory. i bought that album the day it came out and it was on repeat my junior year....i'm unwinding after a night of weekend college partying with my friends. i'm finishing off my 12 pack of bud select when i get a text...."u still up"....i know what that text means. anybody in the game, knows what that text means. i've dealt with her before, she went to UNCG. not far from my school. i weighed my options....thought about it.....and drove to go see her.....i get there, and of course, she's happy to see me. lingerie on, black lace. heels to match. and she's been drinking.....yeah buddy © dorrough.

i get there. drunk. i figure, not a problem...after we have sex, i'll be good to drive....nope..... so, i arrive. we exchange pleasantries. pumps 'n bump © hammer (sex, for the smart dumb cats), and she fixes some food afterwards. because, we was hungry (slave talk).... and now i have the -itis. i am tired. drunk. and definitely not in the condition to drive back (mistake #1)....i figure it's late, the sex was good, i can stay here for maybe two hours and then leave around 7am.....(mistake #2)...

i go to my car while she's getting ready for bed. i put my wallet in the glove compartment and locked it.....a few weeks earlier, i took $50 from a girl’s purse when she was in the shower because the sex was so bad. shoutout to the girl from Winter Break 2007, thanks for the change.....anyway, i come back in before she realizes i went to my car, set the alarm on my phone, and get ready to catch a few zzz's.....but.....shit.....i should've just slept outside….time for a commercial

***sidenote*** i usually delete a text message immediately after i read it, it's a habit...that night, i received a message from my sister while out. i didn't read the message, and didn't delete it because....it was my sister.....and more importantly, my mind was elsewhere... in my inebriated state, I figure if it was urgent, she would call. it's probably a chain message. so i saved the message, closed my phone, and kept partying..... (mistake #3).*** regularly scheduled program......recap: i’m at the bitch’s crib. she’s getting ready to go to sleep, and I’m laying in bed.

now....i'm sleep. i wake up. The UNCG bitch has a steak knife to my nose. i'm like, what the fuck? here comes the bullshit.... she starts yelling (the opening conversation)......she hands me the phone, and see's what the message was....she's not satisfied.... i felt like ray liotta in goodfellas, except it was a knife.....i talk to her: "if you don't believe me, call the number....see for yourself."

she doesn't call. she's more enthused with trying to get me upset, which is why she's not moving the knife. i'm too tired and drunk to yell...at this point, i make the stupidest mistake i probably have ever made in my hookup history....i took my contacts out before i went to sleep.....so not only can i not see beyond this bitch w/ the knife, i'm starting to get a headache from straining my eyes trying to see. i felt like a rookie. i was so ashamed at myself. it no longer mattered to me she had a knife, honestly....i knew i didn't do anything wrong, and we weren't even together, she was just drunk and delusional...i got up, put my shoes on, and went to pee.....while peeing, i'm recapping everything that happened....mistake 1...2....3....4. put my contacts in, and come back outside....she's crying...."I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. WHY WON'T YOU BE WITH ME.....FUCK, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO...."

i just walked out. by this point, i'm sober as shit.....i bumped too short the whole ride home..... one day on this blog, i'll write some hookup rules. i'm not a playa, but....i've been through some shit. you should listen to me.....to the girl from UNCG: you know who it is, you know what it is.....peace.