Renting Sucks

Today I will briefly speak about my living experience in chicago and hope it helps you when you decide who you choose to rent from.  When I moved to Chicago I already knew the city was know for its shady politics, but I was not informed about their shady landlords.  I'm asked to provide a background check and my renting history everytime I want to rent a place.  I have no problem with providing the information because I have nothing to hide, but it would be a problem if I asked for the same information.

If I had a background check on my second landlord I would have dodged coming home to a letter saying my place of living is being foreclosed on because they didn't pay their homeowers association fees.  They are like $300 and they could pay that out of the rent we gave them.  They were also apart of a black greek organization.  I guess OOOOps, I made a mistake thinking they would be upstanding also.  Needless to say we had an early exit!

If I had a history of what my current landlord has done with their previous properties I would not be exiting early right now.  The current landlord cut the yard once....right before he sold our place to someone else!!! But while living here he was slow to fix things and my front door has yet to be fixed.  Needless to say, we will be exiting early.

I don't really know how to solve this issue in Chicago.  If they look shady then they probably are, if they don't even show up to anything at any point, then they will probably be an absesnt landlord.  Well the new guy we plan to rent from seems to be a good christian guy (don't lead me astray Jesus!).  I guess someone needs to come up with a rate my landlord website....wait I think I will!

Hip Hop Made the Internet its Bitch!

About a year back me and a friend were having a conversation about music specifically the way people are making it into the industry nowadays.  He said nowadays you have to make the internet your bitch.  He was right.  The internet is creating opportunities for artists who otherwise would probably never get the chance.  The more connected and social media savvy you are the better.  The genre that seems to be benefitting from this the most is Hip Hop.  I know plenty of people would argue exactly the opposite but stay with me.

There are a couple reasons that the Hip Hop game has benefitted from current internet trends.  On the production level Hip Hop is like basketball you dont need much to play.  It used to be you needed to purchase studio time for you to even create a mixtape.  Those days are LONG gone.  Nowadays all you need is a computer a drum pad and a mic and you can produce and record your own music right outta your closet.  Oh, and now you can upload your music directly to a website that you dont have to build yourself, just use your Tumblr page that youve already been posting on. BOOM youve put major record labels outta work. Plus with a strong Facebook and Twitter following, you've have created your own fan base and demographic.  The internet has transformed the genre and created indie rap.  Not to be confused with underground hip hop indie rap relys heavily the internet community and those who break through seem do so overnight.

I had a real problem with this at first.  I felt that the music that came from these overnight successes didnt warrant the attention they were enjoying.   I felt that the musicians that were some how finding a way to rise to the top didn't have the same appreciation for the music as their predecessors.  My own interpretation of hip hop had previously been a little less progressive but I have since changed my tune. While some would say that Hip Hop has strayed away from its roots.  I would say that in many ways its returned in grand fashion.

Hip Hop can not only be enjoyed by everyone,  anyone can participate in it for any reason and at least in the indie sub genre, its up to the fans and (the hip music blogosphere) not the music executive big wigs who make the decisions on who becomes successful.  These musicians have absolutely no need for a major label, and some are able to organize world tours without being signed.  Does this hurt the genre? Not at all.  Does it mean everything that comes out is good? Not at all. For example, when has liking rock mean that you like all rock?  Rock has been around long enough to evolve and spawn dozens of subgenres.  Naturally hip hop would follow suit and the internet was the perfect catalyst to bring about this change.  The task of pushing the genre forward has been placed in the hands of the artist and the consumer where it should be in my opinion.  There's rap for damn near anyone nowadays.  Also The artists seem to care less about others affiliations.  You've got young lyrical prodigies doing features with swag rappers and demented provocateurs on tour with comics turned rappers who hang with the druggie hip hoppers.

It's a strange but refreshing and exciting time for Hip Hop I'd say.  I would go on record and say that the internet has helped Hip Hop more than any other genre but I will never make a blanket statement like that.  The only media outlet that may hold a candle may be television.  Netflix has proved this with the successful original series House of Cards and this weeks return of cult classic television series Arrested Development (which I reupped my subscription specifically to watch when I heard the news) .  Youtube channels are hosting original premium television monetized by advertising in much the same way traditional TV does.  Television is quickly making the internet its bitch as well.  The proliferation of web based media is the wave of the future and theres no stopping it.  I'm just glad that my beloved hip hop is thriving in the midst of it.

Doing dumb shit...

Since this is the week of the short post, here's why mine is so late.  Its simple math...

This...

PLUS THIS....

  
EQUALS...

The moral of the story is to not do dumb shit without the proper training. At least I had a helmet on... Pray for the recovery.





See ya'll next week!

5ivebruhs presents - tipdrill by sir nelly of st. louis (nsfw....obviously)

enjoy.

Kayne West's Going Hard

Below are two of Yeezy's new singles. Black Skinheads and New Slaves. As you can tell from the titles, Yeezy is once again railing against the establishment (never mind he is essentially the establishment when it comes to hip hop, but that is neither here nor there). The thing to watch is Yeezy's multi-city, multi-platform, nature of this project. I just hope we don't get a long rant about x girl-friends or an 8 minute love song to Kim.

To Give or Not to Give

Homelessness has been a pretty hot topic for decades.  The land of the free, home of the brave, capitalism, democracy, place where you can be anything or anyone you want to be.  The previous sentence is filled with words or phrases describing our great nation, yet we can't get rid of this problem named Homelessness.  Men fight for our country in wars that they may not agree with and we can't find them a place to call home when they return!  Its a sad reality!  Now to what my article is really about.  I don't know who is really homeless and who is faking! 

If you live in some of the larger cities in America you may have the same conflict that I struggle with everyday.  Let me set the scene.  I work for the Department of Veteran Affairs and behind my office is the hospital were our veterans are seen.  In Chicago there is a high population of very low income or homeless veterans.  The above information is important because no matter what route I take in order to get to work or what route I take in order to leave work, I will be approached by a homeless person.  Am I wrong because unconsciencoulsly my mind begins to look at what he/she has on. What they are wearing will determine whether I will give them money or not.  If you have Jordans (no matter how busted) I will not be donating to your funds.  That may be wrong of me, but hey, its my money.  Let me give an example of what I saw just yesterday.  I'm waiting to get on the expressway and a gentleman is asking for money or help.  I do the usual and look him up and down.  This man is ready to go to the club...CLEAN!  First, I was upset because he look better dressed than me and I work.  Then he didn't have enough smarts to dress for work.  I feel like there is a dress code for those who are going to beg for money and looking like you can go clubbing is not it.  Now had he been dressed a little more like a homeless person I would probably have given some money.
   

The example I gave in the previous paragraph really exemplifies the struggle.  Every time I pull up to a homeless person without any effort at all I examine them and then I have to make a decision (To give or not to give) based on the information that subconsciously entered my mind.  I believe homelessness can be eradicate, but that's a long discussion so I will give you my quick fix.  I believe all homeless people should register with the city or state and be given a homeless card.  I believe this program can do many things for homeless people, our country and economy.  But for me, this program will provide me with confirmation that you are really homeless and need help.  I would no longer have to guess.  I can just roll down my window and say "let me see your card."  Based on the person's next action I will have all the information I need to make a sound decision of whether To give or not to give!    

Ode to the Charlotte Hornets

Usually I defer to Bob George in matters of sports but some recent news has gotten me more excited than I have been in a long time.  It was announced on Tuesday that the Charlotte Bobcats will be changing their name back to the Charlotte Hornets and the transition will go into effect at the start of the 2014 2015 season.  This for me and many other Charlotteans is a dream come true especially for those whose childhoods coincided with the birth, growth and unfortunate dissolution of the franchise.  The

birth of the Charlotte Hornets franchise represented a recognition of the potential that Charlotte had as a mid market city and contributed to it becoming one of the fastest growing cities in the US.  Not only that but it was clear that who ever was in charge of marketing the team was genius.   But unlike today where marketing schemes seem to be so contrived and transparent, the Hornets were able to develop eccentric characteristics almost organically (that is until Master P donned a Hornets jersey).  The city rallied around the team and sold out the Charlotte Coliseum for 9 straight seasons.  The Hornets would make it to the playoffs 7 times in 14 seasons and after a fizzling out of fan support we would lose the team in 2002.  2 years later basketball would return to Charlotte in the form of the Bobcats which was just terrible.  For nearly a decade Charlotte fans (including myself) have been reluctant to jump on the Bobcat bandwagon.  Just doesn't feel right.   I call myself a Bobcat fan but I'm totally not.  I dont own one stitch of Bobcats gear and luckily now I will never have to.  Undoubtedly there are a lot of naysayers who don't understand the significance of the name change but we here in Charlotte are going off blind hope here.  In a perfect world the name change from the Bobcats back to the Hornets would be like in that movie where the hopeless hockey squad District 5 turned into the Mighty Ducks and then magically became a better team because they believed in themselves.  I'm calling it now,  we WILL be a better teams as the

Charlotte Hornets.  Charlotte fans have been a fickle over the years,  there is no question about it, but if they can pull out a couple of early key wins the fans will get behind them.  Oh and to Michael Jordan: I love you but you've got to be a better evaluator of talent so that when the time comes the Charlotte Hornets can return to their former above average glory.  And to the fans:  dont take this shit for granted.  We wanted the name change and we got it now its time to support!  

And in case you were wondering here are the new Charlotte Hornets logo with the revamped type face and updated Queen Charlotte Crown emblem ---->

Video Games and Their Effect on Our Future (A Cynical View)

This article comes from a passionate place. It comes from the heart people. Its about my love for video games.  Yesterday, the Xbox One was revealed. I’ve never been a fan of Xbox, nor have I owned one, but this might be the first time I jump ship unless Sony delivers some gold. Me and my cousin got on the phone and were turnt up about this system. I mean we can Skype while playing a game together. Talk about bringing families together.

The main feature of the system that appeals to me is the voice activation of the system. From early reports on the system, they are saying that you can run your cable/satellite box through the system and can talk to your system and change the channel to specific networks or even shows. You can simply say, “Xbox On”,  “Xbox Watch Walking Dead” and boom.  It will also provide updates and overlays onto your screen about other things you care about. For instance, if you can only watch the fucking Redskins because you live in DC and you really want to watch the G-Men whoop up on some ass, you can receive live updates on your screen about what you really care about. Sounds sick to me. I’d probably just get my lazy ass up and go to a bar like a real fan should though. Or steal it online. But this sort of leads me into another point.

We’re fucked. America is screwed royally. Like as cool as the aspects of the system are, how LAZY are we? I mean 90% of the exercise some Americans get is the “Remote-A-Thon”. This consists of 3 couch cushion curls, 2 standing rotations, 1 look-under-the-couch-on-knees-pushup, a 20m walk around the living room  and finally crossing the finish line when they realize the remote control they’ve been hunting for was behind the lamp on the end table.  This system allows you to sit on your fat ass and bark orders at your system to aide you in being a bum for life. If the damn thing made a pizza it’d be a rap. If it could blow you, the streets would finally be free of adolescents. I mean the Skype feature I mentioned before will be damaging. No more getting up and deciding who's house to play video games at on a Saturday. We can all play at home and not have to physically interact and develop social skills! How awesome is that!?

I’m a gamer. I can admit. But I’ve trained myself into a life of balance. Gaming, job, working out, boozing, sex, and grilling. Balance. Kids don’t have this balance, and parents nowadays suck. I saw a little girl down at the harbor in DC dressed in a dumb ass princess outfit, complete with one of those princess cone hat things, probably because she refused to wear anything else, sit down on the sidewalk because she “didn’t want to walk that way”. Her parents then stood there for 10 minutes as I stared and pleaded for her to move. This bitch was 3 years old and 35 pounds soaking wet with $40 worth of nickels in her pockets. Pick her ass up and make her go. Be a parent damnit, YOU OWN THAT SLAVE. You really think these types of parents are going to stop their son from playing Xbox One all day? I mean you no longer have to go into stores to buy any games for the shit. You just order them and download them online. No trips to the store, no need for social interaction, no need to learn how to bargain fools down in Gamestop to throw in a free subscription of GameInformer.

I say all of this to say, while I will most definitely be dropping upwards of $600 on a next generation system (yup), we’re in trouble. Technology will continue to impress and make life easier and simpler for us. In turn, we will become more complacent and even unhealthier. We will sit on our fat asses, eat food that we had delivered from aforementioned gaming system, smoke our blu electronic cigarettes and lose the ability to walk and talk. Then the Japanese will invade. They are the creators of the PlayStation. They will walk in and kill us all. But we won’t really care. Why? Because we just reached 4^th Prestige in Call of Duty 6 and FINALLY became a level 10 gamer. Double digits baby! What a fucking accomplishment. Boom. Pow. Bang. Kazuo Hirai and Bill Gates just won.  I’ll probably take my bullet from a Japanese soldier while running an iso dive left with David Wilson in Madden ’19.  Turnover on downs.

Obama & Scandal

I read Johnny Casanova’s piece on side “Chick All-Stars” and wanted to take the concept a little further.

I wish Obama’s Presidency was something you could play out like a video game. Stay with me…If his Presidency were a game on PS3, I would see how his Presidency plays out with different side hoes. Just to gauge public reaction from TMZ, the news, and most importantly black people…. I, as a black card member, like Obama as a person. More importantly, I like his relationship with his wife and children. He seems like a good dude; however, that does not stop me from thinking he has side hoes. Ever since I saw this picture in 2012, I knew….Barack got bitches.

If a scandal came out stating our President has a side piece, depending on the person he was messing with, the reaction would range from “that makes sense” to “OH HELL NAW”…and this is where I come in, with the joysticks. I’m going to run down the list of ten trial-and-error side bitches in my fictional Obama game. My sole basis of judgment is how quickly it would make black people angry.

Soledad O’Brien – This one actually would make sense. Two beige people in politics and the media, coming together to control the airwaves and spread the gospel of beige. Black people would be disappointed, but not angry. Mainly because niggas don’t watch the news; therefore, they wouldn’t know what/who the fuck a Soledad is. Soledad is better looking and she would shut down any negative press for Barack. Black Rage: 1

Oprah – She wealthy and powerful. No kids. And is probably building a school in Zamunda as I type this. Move Stedman, let a live nigga handle that. Black Rage: 2

Beyoncé – Obviously she’s better looking than Michelle, but more importantly this is to spite Jay-Z. Jay is getting a little too chummy with the President to just be some rapper. He took an illegal trip to Cuba, than makes Obama’s work life miserable by putting out songs talking about how “Barack don’t need the job and should hang with him”. Niggas is too comfortable. Obama needs to seed that up after she drops the 2^nd Knowles-Carter baby. Blue Ivy would approve, and black women everywhere would eventually understand if Obama had Beyoncé as his Feyoncé. Black Rage:  Burning House of Deréon jeans at Big Lots

Sarah Palin – If she fucked Glen Rice, she’d smash Obama. Especially since that is the only way she’s making it to the White House. Black Rage: She’s White

Monica Lewinsky – I want this for one reason, and one reason only….so Bill Clinton could put out a song called “I Hit it First” Black Rage: Banned from Jet Magazine

Miley Cyrus – can you imagine a young, pubescent Miley Cyrus twerkin in the Oval Office, smoking saliva with the President at Camp David….all while Michelle is with the kids. Smh. Black Rage: Even white women are angry

Kim Kardashian – you knew this was coming, she has to upgrade from Ray J, Reggie Bush, Kris Humphries, Kanye West, to now Obama….all those other clowns were just media training for Obama. The only problem with Kardashian is that she’d want to be Obama instead of playing her position. Black Rage:  Obama is a barbershop god….and has the scorn of black women everywhere.

Sweet Brown (just kidding. *thinking* well actually...let's take it further)

Joseline Hernandez (of LHHATL) – I would so love for this to happen. She already is accustomed to being on the side. Can you imagine her running around the White House while Michelle is away, telling VP Biden “she don’t talk to the help”, calling the Congressmen “maids”, telling Bar-ock what he needs to do with the country, giving lapdances to secret service, and calling him a bitch for not making her number one? She would be a problem. Some loud ass hood booger in the White House with delusional power is a serious problem, but I would love to see it. Black Rage: Even BET is ashamed.

Tyler Perry – True Story. My ex-girlfriend’s mother told me she had a sex dream about Obama. She took such pleasure in telling the story, even hours after she initially had the dream. She was too excited; I had to ruin her happiness…. And just as I was about too, her ex-husband grumbles: “nigga prolly gay anyway…he look like he’d sleep with Madea.” I just sat there, holding back laughter…I had to remember the time, place, and conversation that occurred cuz the look on that woman’s face was pure rage. Like she wanted to strangle him just at the thought of it being true…..and the next day she had a sex dream about Barack and Tyler Perry, and that’s when the conversation got too real, and the jokes and lol’s had to cease. Black Rage: Tavis Smiley is calling a meeting.

Anderson Cooper – Black Rage: Back to Africa. Load up the Boats.

23 Books You Should Read In Your 20s as a Black Man

Buzzfeed did an amazing list recently of the 65 books you should read in your 20s that I’m trying to work through in the three months before my life officially ends when I go to grad school. Check out the original list here. All of the books on Buzzfeeds list are amazing, but they tend to favor the lighter hued segment of America. The following books are books that have for me defined the man I am becoming. Every Black Man should read these books to help with that fabled limbo that is your 20s.

1.     This is how you Lose Her: Most know Junot Diaz from his beautiful novel The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. That book is amazing and should be read, but I’ve included his new book on this list. This is How You Lose Her is a heart breaking, hilarious and thoughtful portrayal of what black and Latino men do to their women. Staring the narrator from Wao, who if you read the book, is the dopiest narrator in the history of American Literature. Diaz grabs you by the balls and never lets go. Its hard not to look out male culture the same after this book.

2.      The Autobiography of Malcolm X: This should be required reading for any American man, black white or purple. Moving past his political and religious stands, Malcolm’s steadfast pursuit for justice should be an inspiration for any 20 something looking to make a change in the world.

3.     Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention: Ideally read after The Autobiography, Manning Marbles sweeping look into Malcolm’s life ends up being one of the most accessible studies of Black Nationalism in the civil rights era to date. You know what to know about Malcolm the man, the life, and the controversy, read this book.

4.     Ender’s Game: The Sci Fi book for people who hate Sci Fi, Ender’s Game is an Epic coming to age story about a genius boy training to become the ultimate weapon. Harry Potter but with more action, less emo brooding, and heavy political under tones.

5.     On the Road: The Bible of the Beat Generation, On the Road is a romanticized portrayal of a person gripped with wanderlust. Though rooted in 1950s Beat Culture, it still is powerful today for 20 somethings running away from adulthood and searching for that Horizon.

6.     The Motorcycle Diaries: Similar to on the Road, Motorcycle Diaries traces Ernesto “Che” Guevara’s years wandering up the South American countryside on the back of his motorcycle. This is the trip that transforms the young awkward med student into the controversial revolutionary know simply as “Che”. Watching his transformation through his own words humanizes the legend beautifully.

7.     Into the Wild: This book will make anyone who feels disenfranchised with the state of society want to pack a backpack and start walking. Following Chris McCandless as he gives up everything in search of enlightenment in the American Wilderness, it is both a Romantic and cautionary tale of the spiritual 

8.     If Beale Street Could Talk: Essential book list should always include a Baldwin. Most pick Giovanni’s Room. Beale Street examines masculinity through the eyes of a woman. The heart-wrenching story of young lovers living in 1960s New York City will make your soul yearn for your significant other. 

9.      The Souls of Black Folks: Dubois’ Opus which became of manifesto for Black intellectuals should be a required reading for all young black men. Very dense, it is however a stunning portrait of southern Black life post-civil war. It is also the spiritual precursor for later philosophies from Garvey to X.

10. Who's Afraid of Post-Blackness: Toure, Toure, Toure. I have a love, hate relationship with this man. On one hand he has the courage to stay true to himself in a post Brian Gumble media. On the other hand, he’s an asshole. But his book changed the way I look at art, especially the art that I do. Post-black and how we define black has been the major spiritual discussion for black people living in Obama's America. Like him or hate him, Toure is a major force in that discussion.

11. Sister Citizen: The book that pissed off Cornell West. Sister Citizen is an examination of the stereotypes Black Women face, often times at the hands of black man. It's a game changer for  black men in our 20s as we try to understand the fairer sex.

12. The New Jim-Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Color Blindness. The book description on Amazon: Once in a great while a book comes along that changes the way we see the world and helps to fuel a nationwide social movement. The New Jim Crow is such a book. Praised by Harvard Law professor Lani Guinier as "brave and bold," this book directly challenges the notion that the election of Barack Obama signals a new era of colorblindness. With dazzling candor, legal scholar Michelle Alexander argues that "we have not ended racial caste in America; we have merely redesigned it." By targeting black men through the War on Drugs and decimating communities of color, the U.S. criminal justice system functions as a contemporary system of racial control—relegating millions to a permanent second-class status—even as it formally adheres to the principle of colorblindness. In the words of Benjamin Todd Jealous, president and CEO of the NAACP, this book is a "call to action." Yeah you should read it.

13. The Lord of the Rings: The backbone of Western Fantasy from Salvatore to Skyrim, to Martin. The Lord of the Rings is dense, and yeah it was fun as a kid, but to really get Tolkien's poetry, you have to read it post college.

14. A Song of Ice and Fire: Game of Thrones, Clash of Kings, and Strom of Swords. Yes theirs an HBO special that follows pretty closely, but this is the fantasy novel for those who hate fantasy. Dark, graphic, sexy, and disturbing it will capture a 20 something’s imagination. And honestly, you should read it in high school.

15.  Jesus Hopped The A Train: Gurigis sought to recreate the poetry you hear walking down the street of New York City in the late 80s and 90s spoken by minority and lower income people. If you trying to appericate contemporary theater, these are the plays to start with.

16. 7 Guitars: Black Men should read August Wilson, because there is no one who wrote for Black Men like he did. 7 Guitars is one of his strongest, with characters searching for the illusive American Dream and finding themselves just short.

17. Macbeth: Rereading Macbeth as a 20 year old is like having sex with the lights on. You see all the beautiful imperfections that become lost when trying to read Shakespeare in a High School English class. Plus Macbeth is one of the biggest badasses in Shakespeare’s works, figuring he rip a man in half.

18. The Brother Sister Plays: Devling deep into what it means to be both black and male, these three plays pull heavily from Nigerian folk lore to craft pieces that are lyrical, provocative, and contemporary.

 

19. Watchmen: The graphic novel designed to end graphic novels, Watchmen is a biting satire of Comic books as an art form. 

20. Sandman: Neil Giaman’s epic that change the way people view graphic novels forever. Following the story of Dream, an omnipresent force of nature that controls our imaginations, Giaman creates a universe that is gorgeous, tragic, and heart warming. Different comic artists painted each issue, making Sandman’s story tripper then an Acid Trip in San Francisco.

21. The Rose that grew from Concrete: A collection of Poems written by Tupac when he was in a High School writing class. Not all the poems are good (they are written by a depressed teenager) but it humanizes a legend. 

22. In Black & White: Amazon's Review: "Based on painstaking research and more than 250 interviews, Wil Haygood brings us a sweeping and vivid cultural history of the twentieth century, chronicling black entertainment from its beginnings and the birth of popular culture as we know it. In Black and White transcends simple biography to become an important record, both celebratory and elegiacal, of a vanished America and its greatest entertainer." Yep read it.

23. The Essential Pablo Neruda: No one describes being in love quite the same say that Neruda does. Read it now before you become the jaded 40 year old uncle drunk at the family cook out.

Olivia Pope: Side-Chick All Star!!

Thursday night many people including myself said farewell to Olivia Pope and Scandal.  I will stand tall and admit that the Fall is too far away!!!  Olivia Pope brought a new light to the side hoe.  You could say she helped America glorify the side chick.  I would peruse Facebook and see conversations about how Olivia and the VERY MARRIED PRESIDENT need to be together.   That is adultery America, but I digress.  

If there was Hall of Fame for Side Chicks, Olivia Pope would be a first ballot Hall of Famer.  She is a beautiful woman, with her own money, she can get basically any man she wants and she is not a SNITCH!! She’s a winner!  Let me state that I do not agree with adultery, but I do recognize her game.  Today I want to put together an All Star team of the top Side Hoes and Mistresses of the past and present.

My starting lineup will consist of women that has brought something new to the hoe game or just have done something unique or outright ruthless. Here we go:

Lucy Mercer:  Now she is a 20th century hoe trendsetter.  She was the first known mistress in the 1900s to have been caught having an affair with the future President.  Eleanor Roosevelt hired her to be Franklin D Roosevelt's secretary and the rest was history.  She almost cost President Roosevelt the inheritance his mother had set for him.  He then publicly got rid of her.  Guess that's where money over hoes originated!  She is the old veteran that is wise knows their role.

Marilyn Monroe:  She had and affair with arguably one of the most loved US presidents!!  The crazy thing is so many people knew!  Enough said, shes a star and the star of the team.

Monica Lewinsky/Gennifer Flowers/Paula Jones:  All of these women had some type of relations with President Clinton.  I would first like to say that Clinton is a G.  He was able to have multiple affairs and still be loved by Americans to this day!  Lewinsky was a snitch, but became a mini celebrity.  Flowers twerked half a million dollars out of her scandal and Paula Jones got $850,000 from her scandal.  Talk about winning!  These women persevere through tough times, they are the hard workers for the team and do the little things to get the win.

Traci Lynn Johnson:  Now we move over into the sports world. Ms. Johnson had an affair with former NY Giants running back, Tiki Barber.  She messed with Mr. Barber and had him leave his pregnant wife!!  That was low Tiki, but Traci wins because she married him.  She is the 6th man.  She comes off the bench and works like a starter, just as she did when she came out of nowhere and married Tiki!

Rielle Hunter:  She is known for having an affair and child with Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards.  Not only did she have an affair with Edwards, but his wife was suffering from cancer!  That is ruthless, cut throat, down right gangsta.  She is the bruiser of the team.  She is just there to take out the competition by any means necessary.  She is my Charles Oakley!

Coached by Olivia Pope, this would be a hell of a team.  Some of these women have the potential to make it to the side hoe Hall of Fame.  If you think there was a women that should be on the team leave a comment and let me know why she is an All Star Mistress.

MJ or Prince??

You remember grade school when you found out your teacher was sick and they had some sub who was like 26 years old and had no idea where you were in the curriculum and didn't care.  Usually that sub was unprepared and most likely that sub would put on a video which was perfect because the students didn't want to do shit anyway.  I say all this to say, I'm about to do the same thing.  Call me the substitute teacher.  I was unprepared and now I'm about to show you a video instead.  Judge me if you want.

Me and Bob George have an on going debate about Michael Jackson and Prince.  Obviously from his name you can tell which one he favors.  Maybe these videos can illustrate my point. Michael "wins" hands down as the better musician performer.  By the way, PLEASE check my man Prince's entrance.  This dude gets carried on stage by Hulk Hogan or Magilla Gorilla, I can't tell. Anyway you tell me who's better?

 

If that doesn't convince you check this little boy doing the dishes to Smooth Criminal not fighting the feeling...only MJ's spirit can give him that kind of gumption.

Five Important Rules to Maintain Your Relationships

There have been a few instances where I have talked to a few people I care about and they are expressing some type of relationship stress.  That may be in a love relationship, friendship or family relationship.  Below are 5 takeaways from those conversations to maintain a healthy relationship.  We here at 5ivebruhs have a really special bond and it doesn't just happen overnight and with no effort.  This is not a complete list by any means, but just some things that have dawned on me during the past week or so.

One.  Evaluate the company you keep.  At this point in all of our lives we should have a pretty good idea about who we are and what we require in a relationship with someone else.  If you can’t be cool with someone who is a liar, don’t involve yourself with someone you know to lie. If finances are a big thing, don’t be friends with someone to who money is no issue. How often do you see well to do folks chilling with bums. You are the company you keep. If being on time is a huge thing for you, don’t be friends with black people. Just kidding (sorta).  There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being friendly and desiring a relationship with someone just because they seem like a decent person. You can be courteous, realize that this is a hi and bye type thing and keep it moving. No harm No foul.

Two. Be honest at all costs.  Seems like the easiest way to ruin a relationship is to be dishonest.  Trust is a very fragile thing.  Some of us trust until proven wrong and some of us need our trust to be earned by every new individual in our lives.  I, for one, am honest to a fault and need you to earn my trust. I have the worst conscience and it actually does something weird to me to be dishonest. I’m a terrible liar.  I believe this keeps my close friends close because they know they always know I’m giving the truth, even if it hurts.  It also keeps the fakes away because it makes me a "tough guy to get along with" (Drake. That's for you Walt).

Three. Man up.  If there comes a situation where you are in the wrong, man the hell up.  If you do wrong by someone say I’m sorry. I know pride is a bitch, but pride cometh before the fall people . Nothing can make someone look at you and think, “…this muhfucka…” faster than not manning up in your situation. This can be as small as admitting you didn’t wash your utensils before going back into the pot of curry goat (I definitely washed that damn spoon cuzzo), fessing up to the cops that the dime bag is indeed yours to as big as taking a murder rap for someone you actually killed.  In all of these situations (minus that last one you murderous fiend) respect isn’t lost.  They can be mad or whatever but if they are really your friend, they will FORGIVE you and actually know that you are less likely to betray them to cover your own ass. And say sorry damnit!!! Sometimes even if you feel like you’re not in the wrong, if someone is being stubborn and unreasonable, just say you are sorry for w/e and let them have the win. LET THEM HAVE IT. If you can see through the fog and see that this is pointless, its your responsibility to think rationally, if you care. Part of manning up is being humble and taking the high road. Sorry doesn’t really mean that much if you think about it, but it can mean the difference in having or not having a relationship. Real talk. And if someone is trying to keep it real and admit they are wrong FORGIVE THEM. I know I have trouble with forgiving, but I can admit that and try to fix it.

Four. Break bread.  Nothing will keep a relationship going like breaking bread with your friend/partner/family member.  A good meal and a good drink does way more than you know.  When you eat and drink your body releases endorphins and these give you a feeling of comfort and at ease.  You then associate these feelings with the company you’re keeping.  Its science people. You gotta eat to live, and when you do this vital act with someone you care about doubles the sensation. Am I the only one who sees someone eating alone and feel like something isn't right? I always have the urge to go up and ask them what's wrong. They usually try to hide this by reading books, checking cell phones etc. Also, I just love to eat. Feed me and love me. My girl found this out early. Food gets you on a brothas good side quick.

Five. Show the person you are having a relationship that you care. This is the most important thing you can to maintain a long and meaningful relationship. I refuse to end a conversation with any of my family members without saying “I love you” whether the conversation was an argument or a celebration.  And everyone doesn’t say it back. But that’s alright.  They know I care about them and that’s enough for me. Even when I get off the phone with any of the 5ivebruhs, I will often tell them that I love them. Homo, mo homo, no homo I don’t give a shit. Its just how it is. Deal with it.  Do something nice for someone who means something to you for no reason.  Think about the last time you told your mom, dad, best friend, dog etc that you loved them. If you have to actually think about it, then stop thinking and start doing. Call them now, have a conversation and end it with “I love you”.  They will be appreciative and that relationship is on its way to being fruitful.