What's Right With: Law and Order: SVU

A few weeks ago I wrote a little write up on a favorite show of mine: The Golden Girls. This week I want to talk about another show that I greatly enjoy. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit is my favorite mystery and crime show on television and it should be yours too. Now I realize that you have probably watched the show and probably like it as well but that has never stopped me from telling you why you should like something you already like.

What’s Right

Shits Fucked Up: I do hope you can excuse my language but I wanted to be frank with this one as it is a phrase I utter or think during every episode. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit (SVU) deals with cases in New York City involving crimes of a sexual nature. These are the types of crimes that will having you shaking your head in disbelief and increase your sense of disappointment in the human race. Each and every week I find myself amazed at how disturbing the episodes can be. Whether it’s a story about a kiddie toucher turned murderer or a sexual offender back to his old tricks, the level of depravity on SVU is of the charts.

It’s a proper mystery: Although this may also be a flaw of the show it always keeps me in front of the television. Every episode begins with a shocking display of the crime or the discovery of the crime scene itself. What follows is a series of twists and turns as the detectives work through their list of leads and suspects. The entire time the viewer is invited to make their own assumptions about who is guilty. Is it the man in the dark trench coat? Is it the lady at the fish market? Or perhaps the family dog? Simply put the show keeps you consistently guessing who has committed the crime. Unfortunately however the show does pull a cheap trick of making the actual guilty party hidden until the last moments of the show. This means that no matter how clever the audience has been they will rarely be correct in their prediction of who committed the crime. Cheap trick? Yes. But does it keep you watching? Hell yes.

It has Ice T: I am not as crazy about hip hop as Bob George or the rest of my peers on this blog but I do enjoy it. I have always respected and enjoyed Ice-T as an entertainer much more so than as rapper. In SVU he plays the role of Fin Tutuola, who is the wise talking and street smart minority cop. Although the role Ice-T plays is fairly generic as a minority he is still very fun to watch and he does add an additional amount of coolness to the show. Also worth noting is the fact that Ice-T wrote a song about killing cops, the song was called Cop Killer, and now he is on TV playing as a cop. IRONY.

The cast is attractive: There is nothing better than watching attractive people doing interesting things, which is something SVU has. The female characters have a sense of understated beauty which I absolutely love in a woman. Sure there is something great about a lady whose looks simply knock you on your ass but I really like the tough beauty that is the cast of SVU. The lead character Olivia Benson walks the line well of being a tough cop yet sensitive and feminine and her looks play in that role nicely. My personal favorite is the Assistant District Attorney, Casey Novak (shown in picture above). Once again she is not the type of pretty that would not stop traffic per say, but she is still absolutely beautiful, plus I love a smart woman in a smart suit. I would totally let her sentence me, to a hot date! Am I right guys? I am so right.

It looks great in HD: Let it be known that I am AV nerd of sorts. Although I don’t delve too deep into the confusing world of HDTV specs and numbers I still want all of my programming to be in glorious, mind melting, earth shattering high definition. From the get go SVU has always looked spectacular on any nice HDTV. Law and Order: SVU was actually the first program I saw in HD and it still stands out to me as the gold standard of high definition. Trust me when I say that the moment I plug up my new TV, I will be running it through its paces with an episode of SVU.

What’s Wrong

It’s Cheap: As I alluded to earlier in the article the show seems to invite the viewer to guess and watch closely to find out who is guilty of the crime. The entire episode I sit there taking notes on who has done what, who seems guilty and who seems innocent, but just when I think I have it all figured the out the show says “Ha Ha, I fooled you! The real criminal is the random person I just introduced! Drama!!” Although having a twist ending is interesting and always makes me slap my hands together and say “well damn, I didn’t see that coming.” I can’t help but feel tricked. When the show constantly makes me watch the first 50 minutes of the show only to completely negate that time by introducing a major twist in the last 10 minutes I can’t help but to feel that I have wasted my time. The feeling is never enough to put me off the show, but it simply feels like a lazy attempt to keep me watching for the show’s entirety. But hell, it does work, so good on ‘em.

The Verdict

Law and Order SVU is a big hit in my family and a favorite of my mother. My mother has very good taste, so logic tells us that Law and Order SVU is good. Watch it.

Law and Order SVU airs on NBC on Wednesday’s at 9pm eastern. The show also airs damn near constantly on USA on weeknights.

What's Right With: The Golden Girls

I rarely ever watch TV that is not sports or the news. I personally don’t find many of the shows on TV to be that interesting. Also I hate committing to tune in and watch a show every week, and then feeling terribly left out if I miss an episode. The one show which I will tune in for on a regular basis is The Golden Girls. The women’s network the W airs the show in four to five hour blocks every weekday evening, and it’s worth checking out if you never bothered looking at it. Trust me there is nothing wrong with a man watching The Golden Girls. Trust me.

What’s Right

The One Liner: I am a big sucker for clever one line jokes. They are quick, clever and memorable when done correctly. Most of my favorite movies such as Caddy Shack and Blazing Saddles are memorable due to their constant one liners. The Golden Girls rely on one line jokes for nearly all of their gags and almost all of them are funny. Most of the jokes come from the characters Dorothy and Sophia, played by Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty respectively. Both characters have a knack for finding a quick and witty quip for any situation, which I don’t seem to find in contemporary shows (not that I have been searching, mind you). The other thing that makes the jokes work is that you simply don’t expect extremely well written gags from a show written about four senior citizens living together.

You never cringe while watching: Let it be known that I cannot stand the US version of The Office. I respect the show greatly and I realize it is a well written show with many fans, but I think it is shit. My issue with The Office is that I cannot help but cringe constantly while watching. Essentially the show is about stupid people being stupid, which I have never enjoyed. The boss character is so stupid and oblivious that I literally cringe at the jokes because they are based on someone doing something tremendously stupid. I have the same issue with Frasier and Seinfeld, although those two shows do manage to make me laugh a bit more frequently. I never experience this while watching The Golden Girls. While two particular characters end up constantly being the butt of the jokes I never have to cringe at their antics. Essentially The Golden Girls approaches the concept of a show about smart people being smart, and I absolutely love that.

It is Unique: I cannot think of another show which is like The Golden Girls. There are plenty of shows about four friends, as well as shows about women, but using four senior citizens is something I have never seen elsewhere. The characters age and gender allow the show to work so well, as each character has a wealth of wisdom to draw upon and a deep (I use that term liberally) back story to explore.

What’s Wrong

It is formulaic: As good as the writing is, and as witty the jokes are there is a definite formula to the show. Every episode is simple, it begins with some sort of conflict then through some sort of course of action everyone arrives at a heartwarming conclusion. That personally is not too much of an issue for me as I don’t mind if a show is a bit generic, if it makes me laugh consistently, which it does. The issue with the writing is the characters who most constantly serve as the butt of the joke. The character of Blanche is constantly the butt of jokes due to her promiscuity. Meanwhile the character Rose is joked on for her naivety and her simple upbringings. Both characters are very likeable and enjoyable to watch but the jokes made usually at their expense wear thin. After watching the show constantly for a month or so I began to develop the urge to shout at my TV: “I get it Blanche is a slut, just fucking drop it.” This issue seems to happen in any media which relies on one liners, as I can only watch Caddy Shack once or twice a year or else the jokes cease to be funny.

The Verdict:

Watch a few episodes of The Golden Girls and see if it is your sort of show. If it is you will be hooked and will find yourself watching the show on a regular basis. My one word of caution is to watch the show only for three or four weeks, any longer and you may start to grow weary. I actually blame this on the network that airs the show more than I do the show. The W likes to air four or five episodes back to back every weekday, which means that you can potentially see a season’s worth of the show over the course of a few weeks. I feel if I watched the show as it was originally aired, with only one or two shows a week I would have not grown tired of it. Right now I have been on a hiatus from watching the show and now feel ready to dive back in on the magic that is The Golden Girls. Until next time I leave you with the intro song which is burned in my brain.

What's right with: Beer

Beer. It is one of the most popular beverages in the world. It is enjoyed by millions of men and women every day. Beer is special, as it is enjoyed by all types, from frat boys, hipsters, yuppies, and even nerds. I have been enjoying beer since I was legally able to enjoy it. I am far from an expert on the subject and I am probably not even that knowledgeable about the beverage but that won’t stop me from telling you why beer is brilliant.

What’s Right:

It pairs well:

For ages wine has been the drink of choice when enjoying a fine meal. However there is a lot to know when it comes to picking the right wine. When to go with a white and when to go with a red is fairly easy to understand, but choosing among the varieties of red and white wine can get difficult. Also what happens when you are eating something that doesn’t exactly constitute fine dining? What wine do you pair with Hamburger Helper with a side of microwave broccoli? That was a trick question, you don’t drink wine with hamburger helper, you drink kool-aid, or beer. Simply put beer works well with just about any food you can find, and to make matters even simpler I find that a plain old lager works well with everything. Sure you can get complicated and figure out what foods work well with a stout or pale ale, but it is reassuring to know that for the most part it is hard to pair your food and beer wrong.

Beer is Simple:

I have an appreciation for wine, and scotch however I usually feel more satisfaction drinking a beer. I have found that when someone drinks wine they usually drink it with a smug look on their face as they try to understand and comprehend the flavors. When I drink a single malt scotch I like to smell the drink, observe the drink and try to enjoy the subtle notes the scotch provides. Simply put you drink beer with a smile on your face. It is not difficult to understand beer, and it is very easy to enjoy a beer. Also the differences between different types of beer can be very discernable. Telling a Budweiser from a Guinness from a Yuengling is an easy task. Although I may be over simplifying, I believe it is much easier to understand the taste of beer over any other drink.

Beer is the drink of the people:

Go outside any gas station convenience store on a Friday evening and you will find a fascinating phenomenon: working men buying beer. Having a can of beer and sitting around with buddies just feels right, it’s not complicated or pretentious at all. No matter where you sit on the social class structure if you put a beer in your hand you will feel like an average Joe, which has an alluring mystique to it. Beer snobs do exist however, those who turn their nose at anything that isn’t made in a microbrewery, but those snobs are easy to ignore.

What’s Wrong:

The image of a beer drinker:

Many of the points I made about beer also work against it. Walking out of a grocery store with a case of cheap beer presents a negative image to onlookers. The beer you buy honestly says a lot about the person who buys it. Picking up a case of Busch Light shows that you are a man on a mission, and the mission is to get shit faced. Buying some Natural Ice probably means that you need to fill the cups for the game of beer pong you and the brosefs will be playing later on. These are all stereotypes, but it goes without saying that the general image of beer drinkers can be less that flattering. The nice thing about these stereotypes is that most beer drinkers really don’t give a damn about them. And honestly if you are making judgments about someone by the beer they buy, you are probably a pretentious asshole.

The Verdict:

Not really much else I can say here. I have pretty much used the span of several paragraphs to tell you why a drink most people like is good. Hardly thought provoking stuff but it is still worth mentioning why you should enjoy beer.

On a side note. Why don’t black women like beer? Perhaps it may be a regional thing, but of all of the black women I know only 2 of them drink beer. Also all of the black women I have tried to get to try a beer end up hating beer even more. So tell me, why do black women dislike beer?