Why Black People Hate Macklemore

I first heard Macklemore while listening to NPR tiny desk concert back in February of this year. He played 3 tracks, Same Love, Thrift Shop, and Hands Up or whatever that track is called. Anyway I heard this guy and thought cool, this kinda bohemian white rapper with this trumpet player that looks like they found him playing on a beach in Jamaica selling coconut water for a dollar to tourists. Oh and they got this fat nigga singing the hook who looks like a cast member from Sister Act 2. I had no idea this dude was about to take over my radio and television for the subsequent half year. This man is a phenom.  He's an underground/internet sensation who is making guap off 3 tracks with no major label. I give him a lot of credit and personally find him to be a decent artist. Not my cup of tea but I get why he's popular. With that said let me continue...

This post is dedicated to the most entertaining combination of social media and pop culture that exists: Black Twitter + Any award show. This is the time when all the blackest funniest rachetest amateur twitter comedians come out to entertain the masses. It also happens to be one of my favorite hobbies. While watching the VMAs I noticed that Macklemore caught some serious (and hilarious) hate from followers. ie one of my followers tweeted "Macklemore is the white guy you date when you realize that you only date black guys" I was trying to figure out why Black People hate Macklemore so much and I think I figured it out.

Lets start this by saying black people are THE HARDEST race to please.  You ever seen Showtime at the Apollo? You better entertain us quick or we will sandman your ass off stage so fast you will wish you never saw a stage in your life. We are HARSH. Not only do we want our cake, we want to eat it obviously BUT it better be our favorite cake with a cold glass of milk.  Oh and dont let us find out that another race got a better cake cuz we'll want that one too.  With that said we are very protective over our music.  We have no problem with other races participating in music we create but you better damn sure make it some music that we like.  A couple years back I wrote a post called 10 White People that Black People Love.  Some notable musicians on the list included Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Eminem, Michael McDonald (lol) I explained why black people love them and the points ring so true to this post that I felt compelled to bring them to the attention of the readers.

 So here is a list of the reasons I came up with.

Why Black People Hate Macklemore.

1. He's white (and rich)

this is sad but true. If your a rapper and white and rich, you've already got some ground to cover before your getting the black vote.

2.  He has no Black cosigners.

If you notice all the white musicians we love have respected Black friends JT got Jay Z.  Eminem has Dre , Robin Thicke has the envy of every Man on his arm in Paula Patton. We respect that and that brings me to the next point.

3. Macklemore dates a white woman.

Now you might be thinking, well he IS White, BUT I guarantee if he showed up to the VMAs with a black woman or at least acknowledged he like Black Chicks he would get more love.

4.  He's got corny music. 

Now this should be at the top of the list since we are discussing music but unfortunately its clear that we Black peopel don't give a shit whether your music sucks...if your Black (2 chains, lil Wayne, Trinidad, etc...)

5. His only black friends look like some really humble fat nigga
 formally of  the Harlem Boys Choir all grown up (Ray Dalton) and that nigga with dreads that hangs out in front the coffee shop reciting original poetry at 12 noon who you're still not sure is homeless or not.  (his trumpet player)

Long story short.  We dont understand Macklemore.  He's "weird" black people dont do weird, and we really dont like different (so sad). We dont know how to pronounce his name and we hope he'll be forgotten before we actually figure out how to say it right.  I'm sorry Macklemore.  We're not jumping on your bandwagon anytime soon. 

Black food? White food?

I've been trying to live a healthier lifestyle, but recently there's been a hankering for soul food in my life. I'm talking the good stuff. Fried chicken, candied yams, collard greens, sweet cornbread, baked mac and cheese...ya know, the works! I want a plate that looks like...

 

Yes LAWD!

After waking Monday morning, pillow swathed in drool from sweet soulful dreams, I realized that I needed to make this happen. What better way to celebrate the March on Washington?  I told my girl that this Friday would be "Soul Food Friday". What's that? Its a fatty's Christmas. Its like the preseason for Thanksgiving. Its what Miley Cyrus's ass desperately needs. It means we will spend the night in, replicating the materials responsible for my large stature. I love food, and I'm giving into the vice on Friday. I recently took the step to move in with my girl, and one of the reasons I was ok with sacrificing my freedom is that she's an excellent cook. I have to hand it to her. The reason Friday is such an ordeal is because she comes from a different culture. She's white and from north of the mason dixie, therefore things are done just a little bit different on her plate. 

I'm not one to ever turn down food. Period. Unless the person's apparent hygiene is less than pleasant. I'm not eating burgers from bums people. But through my openness to eat what's put in front of me, I have noticed a few differences between how typical "white" food and "black" food is constructed. Am I an authority on food? Yes. Do I often cross cultures? Yes. Am I about to generalize about these differences? Absolutely. So now that I've answered your questions and addressed your issues with the following statements, read a few of my conclusions. I'm not saying these are universal, but its how i feel. You can feel free to criticize, agree or not give a damn.

• Black food is meant to touch. When that juice from the sweet potatoes intersects at the corner of mac and cheese and cornbread something magical happens. When I see the collision occur, I GET HYPE! I know THAT bite will be off the chain. My cousin Big Norm has mastered this and creates post-meal cups (judge if you want). This dude has mastered the correct order to stack leftovers into a red solo cup that captures the essence of the entire meal. White food should remain separate. Corn on the cob is good as are strawberries and salad with Italian dressing. But when these are all on the same plate, you want them to remain co-workers. Touching is strictly prohibited.
• Black food is the real reason we get turnt up about family time. We know Gramma is bringing that redskin potato salad, uncle is about to grill them ribs with the Sweet Baby Ray's and auntie is about to put it down on the peach cobbler. We know that there will be more food than you need and all you could want. When a get together is planned, what's the first question amongst black people? "What we eating?" White people are more prone to allow the gathering to be about the achievement or special event. That's great, but that's secondary to food for us. "It's awesome you graduated from college cuzzo, but make sure ya moms whip up that baked ziti, ya dig?"
•  Black food makes you wanna fight. Let someone show up to a black event later than most (CP time- if you gotta ask, just dont). Let the ribs be gone and they only get a burger or hot dog. Guaranteed they gonna be tight. Why? Because that's the real reason they were excited to come. "Man, your birthday don't mean ish if I didn't get a deviled egg or some of Gramma's pasta salad with the crab meat in it! Bet you wont get this gift card I brought." Even if they are a good sport about it, you know they are salty. When I go to white events, I'm just happy to have some type of nourishment. No one has an urge to fight.
• Black people don't believe in over-seasoning and rarely do we measure. I forgot real recipes even existed until I started dating my girl. Add 1/2 cup of this and 1/4 of that. A teaspoon of pepper and 2 tablespoons of seasoned salt. Not how we cook. I'm under the philosophy that most people can learn how to cook if they can follow directions. Soul food comes from... the soul. Not a cookbook. I asked my Gramma for a recipe and part of her instruction included, "...just keep adding that seasoned salt. You know how its supposed to taste boy." I can honestly say I've never seen her use a measuring cup. My girl can follow a recipe like no one's business, but my soul needs to be taken into account from time to time.
• Black people, mainly men, will eat themselves to sadness. Me and my baby brother are notorious for this. One minute we salivating, the next we're grimacing with joy. We are happy as hell when the food is going on our plate and we (well my family at least) will eat until it makes us sad. Pain never felt so good.
• Fruit doesn't belong on the plate with my dinner.
• You can look at a black person and know if they can or can not cook.

  

  You just know she can put it down.

• Oatmeal tastes best out of that big ass cardboard tube thing, not packets.
• Rice is not a black thing to eat at Thanksgiving. Period. 
• Green bean casserole is gross.
• Everything can't be casseroled. 
• Drinking milk with pasta at dinner? How does that even make sense? That will tear your stomach up.
• No one really like chitterlings. I think black people eat them to remain rooted in our culture.
• Cornbread needs sugar.
• Texas Pete and Frank should have been disciples in the Bible.
• Tea is meant to be sweet you bitter jerk.
• Everyone loves chicken. Everyone loves watermelon. Don't ever take offense! (Ask Chappelle)
• Mac and cheese is to be baked. No exceptions.

I mean in America, the word black usually means bad and white usually means good. But when it comes to food, I beg to differ. My Black Friday can't come fast enough. I don't think I'll be able to sleep Thursday night. Its. About. To go. Down.

miley cyrus

if you were like me and missed the live performance of miley cyrus shaking her ass and tossing her baby maker in the air....here it is....in all of its nasty pedo glory. since when have teddy bears been sexy? miley is of age but she looks like a boy, and she looks like an underage boy, and she looks like an underage gay boy who's seen too many twerk team videos and thinks he's a girl....this whole shit is disturbing. she's just a twerkin mess at this point. even rihanna was like "bitch, do better".

this is what chris rock means when he says he's keeping his daughters off the pole. billy ray cyrus....you have some explaining to do. 

also, miley......you have money. just get you some ass implants. it has done wonders for nicki minaj. because what you sittin on right now, isn't turning any heads. put it like this, if she wasn't miley cyrus, and she was walking down the street in her miley gear, no one is turning their head thinking "she's kinda cute"....they'd think "bitch, yo cheeks out"

get it together. 

Whose Going to kill Walt Update (spoilers)

Last week I posted a list on who honestly is going to send Walt to Hades at the end of Season 5 of Breaking Bad. Granted I posted it three days before AMC dropped a bomb shell of an episode last night, and I kinda of have to do some revisions. Last couple of weeks have been rising action, tension building, filler that is trying to catapult us to the final climax of the story. Its all important on the grand scheme of things, but it does feel like chess pieces being moved on the board. I was half watching yesterdays over a friends house, noticed the pattern, and half dismissed the episode, until the final 2 minutes. And man were they a hit to the gut. Last week I posted that in order for Jesse to kill Walt (they got this sudo-father, older brother, best friend, arch enemy thing happening) allot needs to come to come to the surface. And by allot I mean about 2 seasons worth of bullshit Walt did to Jesse and Jesse's friends and family but has remained relatively hidden. Whelp that rickety dam broke, and Jesse found out the pretty much everything. And I mean everything. Last shot is Jesse rampaging through Walt's house pouring gasoline. Jesse finally snapped and he gives no-fucks at this point.

Whose going to kill Walt? After yesterday Walt and Jesse are on a collision course towards each other for a final showdown. I put Jesse as this is the mother fucker whose going to do it, unless Walt gets to him first.

Breaking Bad: Honestly who's going to kill Walt? (Spoilers out the ass)

 

Episode nine had some foreboding shots, with Walt stepping into his dilapidated house and Heisenberg is  spray painted on the walls. And after watching episode 10 recently my thoughts are racing to the inevitable. Walt is going to die. He knows it, AMC knows it, and fuck we all know it. But who's going to be the one? Who's going to pull that fatal trigger that’s finally going to put this tightly whitey wearing, wife-raping, girl friend killing, little kid poisoning, train robbing, evil ass hole in the ground. These are Optimus Negro's personal biases and thoughts and do not represent the rest of 5ivebruhs. I'm sure the rest of them have their own opinions. But I'm probably right.

Skyler

 

Over the last two seasons she has been a train wreck waiting to happen. I would have pegged her as pretty likely to pop Walt until last Sunday when Hank confronted her and she became ride or die. She didn't give up Walt! That's huge, figuring for the last season and half if she had been waiting for him to die a slow and painful death. Now she could be saving her ass. She would go down to if Walt was ever brought to court, but I think Skler still loves Walt. The chances that Skylar will kill Walt now, pretty unlikely. Sigh, white people.

Hank

Man, when Hank figured Walt out, I thought he was going to kill the mother fucker right then and there. I officially became a Hank fan for the first time in 5 seasons. I mean the dude has been pretty dense until two weeks ago. Two of the biggest meth dealers in the country are living within ten miles of you and you know both of them personally.  However, Hank at the end of the day is a cop, and a good one. He wants to bury Walt under the jail. Hank is going to do everything he can try to bust Walt. Hank would really need to crack or Walt needs to try to kill Hank before Hank even thinks about going punisher on Walt. The chance Hank kills Walt, very big maybe.

Jesse- 

Jesse has lost it. Dude’s not sleeping and throwing millions of dollars around Arizona. He’s almost a non-player at this point. Sad thing about Jesse is he’s probably the last good person in Walt’s life. Looking at it symbolically, Jesse is Walt’s conscious. Well right now, he’s a sniveling shell of a thing with a frozen expression on his face. All the death Walt has caused seems to sit right on Jesse’s soul. Jesse is my favorite pick for killing Walt. It would be perfect poetry and validating. Very Shakespearean. But there are some big things that need to happen before Jesse will man up. First Jesse has to get out of Hank’s clutches. Second, Jesse needs to find out everything: the kid poisoning, the death of his girl friend, Mike, everything. Third, Jesse has to really snap. Break out of this sleeping beauty thing, and go HAM. That’s going to be pretty difficult considering he looks like the above most of the time.

A Big maybe, Bitch!

Lyda- 

Oh I hate Lyda. I hate her so much! Lyda is potentially the craziest person on the show at this point. With all her shaking, and crying, and that annoying wobbling voice thing is making some power plays. Remember Mike said that woman was trouble and she’s proving it. Lyda is getting people killed all to keep her international investment going. Everyone, me included, under estimates her at every turn. After watching Episode 10, Lyda is just ruthless enough to try to take out Walt just because he doesn’t do what she wants him to. And she's getting desperate. Desperate meant that 9 people died. Likely.

Todd- 

Second on my most hated list is Todd. The retard that killed that kid who just wave at him. Waved at him! He talks like Forest Gump on mushrooms. He Looks like Captain American and a Hitler Youth had a love child and produced an inbred goof ball. But like Lyda, you can't underestimate Todd. He’s a psychopath. Doesn’t blink at killing anyone. Even makes jokes about it. I would give him a Maybe but only if he gets his…

Crazy Nazi Hit Squad- 

The crew that took out 9 men in jail in two minutes. These guys are ninjas, and brutal, and give no fucks. They need to be paid; so Walt is dead if someone pays them or if nobody pays them and they take it out on Walt. Also the foreboding future scenes seen throughout this season has their stamp on it. Likely.

Some Czech Hit Man- 

This is a long shot but there still could be an unnamed player in this. Walt's been selling to the Czechs all season until he abruptly stops. Eastern European stereotypes are not to be fucked with, and Walt’s been fucking with them. Case in point, Lita’s crazy ass is making power moves trying to get them their product. We still have a couple of episodes left, enough time to introduce some ultimate international assassin. Maybe.

Cancer- 

Walt’s cancers back, and he’s got 6 months to live. But honestly I think it’s a plot device used to increase the stakes of the show. When Walt had Cancer earlier he was desperate, and being desperate made him make rash and bold moves. Now that he has his Cancer again were going to get the same level of desperation that we did earlier in the show. The likely hood Walt is going to make it through these six months is slim. But then again, for Walt to go quietly into the night might be the character’s last big fuck you, and is a perfect way to end the season. Maybe but only if none of the above get him first.

The Ghost of Gus and Zombie Mike- 

Hey maybe Breaking Bad is the prologue to Walking Dead. That would blow your little nerd minds wouldn’t it? Not likely.

College Loans and "The System"

The demographics of the readers of this blog probably varies, but I'm sure most of us have a few things in common. We will all have to pay taxes, we will all die in a blaze of glory, and most of us have student loans. This has become a point of contention between my parents and myself, but I won't go into detail. Jonny Casanova and myself even had a lengthy discussion about the validity of J. Cole as a lyricist as he always seems to mention Sallie Mae. This bitch, and her cousins at other financial institutions, are raking a generation over the coals.

Student loans are a means of control, and the way in which student aide is given is a farce. The control comes in the form of socioeconomic status. The best way to describe this is an American version of the caste system in India. This is how the rich stay rich and the middle class continues to struggle with their "American Dream". The FAFSA bases my level of financial need on my parents income, but at the age of 18 I am considered an adult right? So why is my level of future debt based on people who are soon to have no legal ties or responsibilities to me anymore? Our fate is decided before we even get to college. Debt-free and at liberty to chase our dreams or destined to a life of debt.

I see the system as this. To get a decent paying job, you need a college degree. To get a college degree either your parents pay for it, you get need/merit based scholarships and/or you get loans. Look at these damn facts about loans. If you have to get loans (which over two-thirds of graduates do) you will have to work a job sooner rather than later meaning you might not end up doing what you wanted. Hell, that's if you can even find a job. And, blessed are those whose parents can float them for a while so they can search for a job they want. But once you're educated you have to get a job to pay the loans back, thus your are stuck in the cycle and unless you are able to make moves up the chain, your kids are destined for the same fate.

I am in no way marginalizing the value of an education. I am an education advocate, but I do have qualms with the funding of higher education. I also think that student loans have a negative impact on the economy. The last line in the link to student loan facts supports this statement. If you didn't click it before, you probably won't now, so here's what it says: "In 2011, first-time home buyers, with a median age of 31, fell to the smallest percentage of total home purchasers since 2006. (Source: National Association of Realtors)". As a generation, we can't afford to buy homes. How can we not commit to a great investment for our futures when we have these great jobs and great education? Because student loans and debt equate to at least half a mortgage payment and in some cases it exceeds.

The value of homes is supposed to appreciate while vehicles depreciate as soon as they're taken off the lot. I honestly see education as a depreciating asset. As we progress as a society, my bachelor's degree means less and less. A bachelor's degree is no longer enough to pay for a bachelor's degree. I have to get a master's to live the life I want and get a better job. But damn, I'm still going to be in this cycle. I've often heard that a bachelor's degree is the new high school diploma and a master's is the new bachelor's. I think this is very much the case.

Our home is a piece of paper. I'm a believer that if the government could help to erase national student debt, our economy would flourish. We would purchase homes and take the risk of starting businesses. Our level of misery as a generation would drastically reduce if we had to work a less than ideal job. How depressing is it to work at a job you over qualify for and bust your ass for money that doesn't even belong to you? I've had extensive conversations with friends who do just that. I'm also a victim, even though I've been blessed with a decent position. Lord knows I'm grateful and I count my blessings daily, but I'm miserable nonetheless.

I've probably written about student loans before, but I really do hate them. No other reason to write it now, except for surge of recent anguish and disapproval of this system. Mr. Obama, if you're reading this, help a brother out (we know you love 5ivebruhs). Mr. Obama, if you could help me understand how $200/month in interest alone on student loans is the American Dream, I would be most grateful. If you could make my loans disappear, I won't tell a soul. Scouts honor. If I had the money I invested in college to invest in my own business, I think my chance to succeed would be work taking the risk. But since I don't, I'll continue to watch my money auto-withdraw from my bank account with much disdain. I'll continue to watch the time frame for becoming a home owner and make lifelong investments get pushed to the right.

Fantasy Football: Running Backs

Running Backs.

If you follow fantasy football, you’ve probably read that running back is scarce this year, and you should draft one as early as possible. While I agree with the draft one early philosophy, I disagree with the position not being deep.

Due to Arian Foster’s health, there is a one man tier of the super elite running back. There is Adrian Peterson….and that’s it. Any guy 2-9 could easily be the second best running back in fantasy. Let’s look at how and why.

1. Adrian Peterson (Vikings): Purple Jesus has no worries about his knee, and neither should you. The best player in the NFL is worthy of the #1 pick. No brainer.
   
2. Doug Martin (Bucs)
3. Ray Rice (Ravens): Here’s the case for Martin vs. Rice: Martin’s in a better offense, with a better offensive line (barring the health of Carl Nicks), younger, and facing a much easier division schedule in the NFC South. The Saints were the worst team against the run in 2012, Falcons were 21^st, Panthers were 14^th. …having said that, Ray Rice has a history of being the best back in fantasy football (2011. Foster was better on a per game basis, Rice had more points overall in standard league scoring). Someone from the group of Martin, Rice, Charles, TRich, Spiller will emerge as the sceond best back in fantasy. Gut feeling. If I had to bet on someone, I’d pick Martin. He has the cleanest bill of health, three down back, great weather situation, and I just think this is his time. He had a great year with Nicks and Davin Joseph out for the year. I’m all in on the Muscle Hamster.
   
4. Arian Foster (Texans): If Foster is playing week 1, he moves into 2^nd place. Without question. As of 8/20/13, he is injured. Hasn’t practiced all training camp. Fantasy drafts are a week or two away. Foster has missed the first two games before in a season, and was still the best back in the league, from a fantasy perspective, on a points per game basis. If you plan on drafting Foster, hedge your bets and take Ben Tate a round or two earlier. With the offensive line in Houston, Tate has top 12 back potential. Tate is the only must have handcuff you need to draft if you’re in 10/12 man leagues.
   
5. CJ Spiller (Bills): Spiller finally has a chance to be the main guy in Buffalo. My only question with him is if he can stay healthy for a season carrying a full workload. But guess what, health is always a question in football. If there’s a guy available, who was getting six yards a carry, and I have the 5^th pick…I’m taking him. Spiller will have a great year.
   
   
   
   
   
6. Marshawn Lynch (Seahawks)
7. Jamaal Charles (Chiefs): Honestly, you can go either way between Spiller, Lynch, and Charles…the deal breaker for Spiller was just a gut call. Lynch vs. Charles comes down to consistency. Which guy gives you the best chance to win on a week-to-week basis? For me, it’s Lynch. I think Charles will have higher highs than Lynch, simply because he’s better in the passing game. Charles will probably end up with more total yards as a result of being used on third downs, and having Alex Smith, aka the Checkdown King, throwing to him. But it’s going to be hard to predict which weeks Charles will show up. Charles will have a great year under Andy Reid, but he has a tendency to put up a lot of single digit weeks. Lynch is in a run-heavy offense and is a lock for 1300 yards and 10 touchdowns, barring health issues. Constant, steady production.
   
8. Trent Richardson (Browns): The baby version of Marshawn Lynch, with better hands. Is ranked lower because he’s in a worse offense, and has a propensity for injury.
   
9. Lesean McCoy (Eagles): The Bryce Brown thing in Philly is real. Brown is getting at least 10 carries a game. If Brown wasn’t there, I’d have McCoy as a #3 back.
   
10. Alfred Morris (Redskins): A lot of his value is tied up in RG3. If RG3 is the guy of old, he moves up the list. At this very moment, RG3 hasn’t practiced, and Shanahan is talking about him being more of a pocket passer. This doesn’t help Morris’ value. If the Redskins eliminate the read option, Morris doesn’t post another 1600 yard season, and he peaks statistically as a rookie. However, Morris can still get touchdowns. Washington has a great offensive line, and will not hesitate to run. Look for him to post numbers of 1200/10.

Theory 1. The Theory of Female Attractiveness

Women unfortunately have been given a bad deal.  In fact its so bad for women that they get lumped into minority status no matter what ethnicity they are.  That's pretty bad.  They keep trying to break that glass ceiling but no matter what we men keep finding ways to thicken and reinforce that damn thing.  Both sexes are to blame for this.  Men have the clear historical and genetic advantage here but every once and awhile a strong woman finds a way to hack that glass ceiling and do some awesome shit.  Let me be clear.  I am all about womens rights.  I am a proponent of the underdog and I want to see whoever can put in the work and capitalize on a window of opportunity.  Ok now that I got all the PC bullshit out of the way.  I have some theories about women that I want to share.  These theories have absolutely no academic value nor are they based on any legitimate research.  These are my ridiculous opinions that I stand beside and would be willing to argue till the death. Here's one.

Theory 1.  The Theory of Female Attractiveness

The theory states that if a woman wants any hope of continuing to be attractive into their 30s must NOT hit the peak of their attractiveness before 23. 23 is the golden age for women.  Most likely they're right after college and still have that naive youthful glow that comes from that fallacy that they are about to single handedly change the world with their degree in public health.  At 23 they have earned their attractiveness.  Maybe she wasn't the hottest freshmen but this played to her advantage.  Her self esteem is fragile still,  she's just now getting attention and barely knows how to deal with it which makes her more endearing.  Yes I guarantee you if she's hot at 23 she'll stay hot in to her 20's and THEN the beauty will begin to fade at around 30 but that just means she's getting ready for her renaissance period and thats 40's milf status.  I tell you if you cant pluck the ugly duckling at 18 and stick with her to 23, 23 is the time to strike.

Now conversely when a woman hits her attractiveness peak before 23, (and celebrities and rich bitches are a variable in this) the potential to disaster increases.  Now what happens is men go crazy for these girls at a time when all they want is attention.  These bitches get worn out quick and by 23 look like 27.  All the fucking and cocaine, beer, and cigarettes have given what would have been a supple lustrous complexion a shiny reddish glaze. Now black women won't get the complexion you can just tell they're worn out by how much time they spend in the club, how many spike studded heels they own, and how many neon dresses are in their closet.  These girls are over compensating for the fact that they're worn out.  They are the thirstiest of the female race and should be for temporary use only.  Trust me.  Seriously, next time you're in the club ask one of those girls what's their favorite NPR  radio show.  This is not to say that you want a nerd chick who listens to NPR, it's for experimental purposes only.  Honestly she'll most likely ignore you wondering why you'd want to have a serious conversation in a club which is totally understandable and exactly my point.

Now the cute 23 year old post grad will have a stronger more focused and endearing personality which comes with its own problems but were not talking personality here.  This 23 year old girl will age like wine and maintain herself as if its her job.  And thus, my theory holds true.  Test it if you don't believe me.