Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Top 10 White People That Black People Love

Black people are great. We can take our situation and make it look attractive to those who can't live it. Even if it sucks. We do this in various ways but one way we do this is we adopt white people that we like into our club and say things like "he not white he lightskinned" or "hes/shes white but he/she must have some black in him/her down the line." White people love hearing this. They feel like they get the cool points from having black people like them but they still wake up in the morning a white person with the infinite perks and benefits associated. In order to get into this "club" all you need is to gain black peoples trust in some kind of way... Doesnt hurt if you adopt a black child...activities like that gain our trust. You see, we don't assume all white people are or aren't racist (sad but true) we need confirmation sometimes and if were gonna claim you there needs to be some above and beyond type shit going on with your involvement in our community our music etc. With that said heres a list of the "Top 10 White People that Black People Love"

10 Adam Levine
We like this guy...He showed up on Kanyes "Late Registration" and on Alicia Keys "Unplugged" album. We trust him. Not to mention if you check most black peoples iPods and you'll find some Maroon 5 on that joint.

9 Robin Thicke
Hes got a lot of soul for a white boy. Black girls love him. Black men are jealous of him cuz that he pulled Paula Pattons fine ass. Either way we like him. He makes good music and we trust this guy.

8 Eminem
He was the first legitimate white rapper to hit the scene. We like him. He has personality and is respected in the rap game. Almost didn't make the cut simply because white people love him as much if not more than Black people do. Plus I ve never heard him say "Nigger" in a rhyme and I respect that (he coulda tried to test the waters)

7Joe Biden
Hes the VP under Barack Obama....Of course we trust his ass. Plus he murdered Sarah Palin in that debate. You know black people like you when after a Vice Presidential debate you could hear this in any black barbershop: "Daaammn!! Biden gave that bitch the business!!!!"

6Ellen Degeneres
We trust Ellen...Shes just mad neutral. We believe in her generosity and genuinely enjoy her show. I mean damn she got Halle Berry to do the "Halle Berry Dance" on her show. Black people just have no reason not to like her.

5 Brad and Angelina
Im lumping these 2 together....Before I get deep, let me go shallow(thats what he said). Angelina is a bad chick and I know black chicks who dont like white guys but love Brad Pitt. Not only are they one of the most powerful couples in Hollywood, they got a crib in New Orleans so they could continue to lead the effort to rebuild the city in the wake of Katrina. We like that. Not to mention they have more black kids than most black families. Membership accepted.

4Robert Deniro
This guy's name has turned up in rap lyrics and references to his movies and his characters have resonated in the hip hop community for years. 3 words...Godfather Goodfellas Casino. Oh....and he's also married to a black woman (google Grace Hightower if your scratching your head right now)

3Justin Timberlake
"Future Sex Love Songs"=Classic . Any white guy who can drop a classic R and B album deserves immediate membership.

2Michael McDonald
If your confused, I understand. You may not even have know this man was white until you saw his infomercial selling his versions of classic R n B tunes. This white dude has more pure and genuine soul than most Black people ever have or will have. He gets a high bid.

1Bill Clinton
You knew it was coming. Our favorite (Pre-Obama) President since JFK. He has an uncanny charisma and ability to be in tuned with "our issues". Black "Bible Belt" grandmothers still supported him even after the "skeet scandal". Thats saying something.

What would a Top Ten list be without honorable mentions
I got one for ya

John Mayer...we like John Mayer. He showed up on Kanyes unreleased track "Bittersweet" and (lesser known fact coming up) he was on Commons "Go" the guy actually singing "Gooo" on the hook was him. He made a cameo on Chappelles show which gave him some credibility. He also had a one episode TV show on VH1 which i thought was actually really funny where Trick Daddy was his only guest. Great effort dude but not Top Ten material... Heres a video that explains how he gets an honorable mention.


Cheri said...

White people that we do NOT trust.

Michael Steele.

ELA Exclusive said...

Hahahahahahaha! White people NOBODY should trust ...

Dick Cheyney, Rudy Gulliani

Jas said...

I love me some John Mayer lol

btw another name tht most ppl dont think of tht should at least be a hon mention, is Jon B!!