Welcome to the Shy Guy's guide to getting girls.
Now I know that there are a lot of guys out there that don't have much problem approaching and talking to the opposite sex, but there is a population of men who just find themselves having trouble with talking to women. This is a service to you. I was there once and understand the anxiety that comes with talking to girls that your interested in.
So here it is: The Shy Guys Guide to getting Girls.
First and foremost we have to start by identifying a few key factors that you should know going into any conversation with a girl.
First. Identification. You need to identify and establish the kinds of girls you are looking at. If you are a shy guy, you're not going to go for the hottest girl in the bar unless you're just that damn drunk. If you go for her, chances are, you get shutdown, embarrassed and if its a small location, you've fucked your chances with any one for that night. Talking to girls initially is like boxing, you have to win the smaller fights first to get the skill and notoriety to go up against the heavy weights. Find the girls that look approachable. You can usually identify them as being younger, probably drunker, they have a generally friendly demeanor about themselves... these are the chicks usually actively seeking attention whether its because they're mad at their boyfriend or they are so insecure that they need male approval, they'll be good practice for you.
Second. Confidence. In any situation with a female... confidence is 50% of the battle. As long as you're confident most girls will take to the things you say. (As long as your not saying dumb shit like “I have magnum condoms” trying to impress her. All skilled dudes know that girls are a mental game.) If you carry on a normal, interested conversation with her with confidence she will respond to that. But note that when you first begin the conversation thats when the most confidence is needed, women are like wolves, they can smell fear and at the slightest hint... especially early on... you're fucked.
Third. Paying attention to your surroundings. There is nothing worse that can kill a guy than his surroundings. Here you need to pay attention to a few different things that can really mess you up. The first an probably most infamous are her friends. A girls friends are her life line. She often will look for their approval and if they don't approve, you've already lost. When entering a situation with multiple girls, you want to engage all of them before you go after the one that you are interested in. By doing this you're like a cat pissing to mark your territory. You say, hey I acknowledge that you all are here and are her friends and I respect you all, but I'm taking this over for a little. Be careful not to be overly aggressive and push the friends to automatic judgement on you. Remember, you don't know them and they deserve your respect as they can shut your shit down. Another thing you have to watch out for is other guys, if shes in a convo with another guy you don't want to barge in, you'd shoot yourself in the dick doing that. However, note that if the other guy walks away, and you can slide in with a clever line of introduction, this can get you a lot of cool points. If you're inexperienced, make sure you have an escape route. You don't want to walk into a situation where you have one way in and out or worse cornered. If you're attractive by any means, there is some one else looking at you, and if she watches you get played this may turn her off... opportunity... shitted on. Finally know where the bathroom is, if you're in experienced and get shut down you may need some time to collect yourself so you can go back out and play again.
Fourth. Know what you're looking for. Which brings me to my next portion.
Since you have no game you probably won't be looking for much but a number or a positive outcome from a convo, but in the case that you start feelin yourself a bit, here are some situations to live by and some signs to understand...
Situation one: I just want to talk and have her like me a.k.a. Mr. I need confidence
You're at a bar and you see a girl that you're interested in. So you are in a constant battle deciding whether or not to talk to her, not that shes the shit, but for you, shes the shit. So you have another drink and you feel loose enough to attempt to make a move. Shes with one friend so you figure that she shouldn't be that hard to talk to. You make your way over. First things first, you must not linger... unlike the saying “there are plenty fishes in the sea” in a bar, guys are like Parana, eating anything that is not like them that moves. Once you muster that courage, find something that she may connect to, often times it may be a drink, a body motion she makes that enters your space or using a mutual person like a bartender to engage her through engaging that bartender. First thing you MUST do is gauge her interest. There are certain signs, if she sizes you up and smiles, you're a go, if she makes a playful sarcastic remark, you will have to make one back, but there is an opportunity there, or if she sucks at being a girl and just smiles at you and waits for you to say more... take advantage my friend. Once you have that, speak with confidence and you have her.
As a warning/ piece of information... there will come a point in the conversation where things come to a semi standstill. Now, for you we are entering unmarked territory. This is the number margin. This is the phase you need to have confidence, its easier than it looks though. She wants you to ask you for her number. So man up... grow some cahones and do that shit. Once you do that, you can leave feeling confident and go mop the sweat from your brow.
Situation two: Can I kiss it... yes you can a.k.a. Mr. I need to become a man
Ok so you've had enough practice to know how to open up a convo and your well into it. You've bypassed the number stage, and you're feeling her. You want to attempt to kiss her, but you don't know how. First things first, slow down. Many guys make the big mistake of rushing into a kiss and failing miserably at that shit. She'll let you know if she wants you to kiss her. No nigga, she isn't gonna tell you (in most cases) but there are certain things to look for. If you notice you all getting physically closer through out the conversation, there is one sign. One of the tell tale sign is her eyes, if there is a certain amount of eye contact in the late stages of the conversation, means that she is telling you that it is ok to make a move, you can't come on too strong, but if you're smooth... you'll get a confidence boost. If she touches you slightly in places like your hand shes telling you that shes feeling you, but in this situation you may need to wait for another sign... its really a judgement call by you. Of course from time to time, you get girls, where the chemistry is just there. That is an individual situation, so just be ready for it and in rare situations you will get a girl who makes the move on you. Thats always nice, but don't get used to it.
Situation three: When it comes to my dick action all I can think about... a.k.a. Mr. Yo ma lemme holla
You gotta really be feelin yourself, be sedperate or have your boys eggin you on to be this guy when its not normally you. At this point you really need to understand women and apply a combination of the concepts. You have to have your target, knowing what she is and what she isn't, you have to understand her and know her limits and finally, you gotta know how to push the envelope with her. There are a few trade secrets here that I'm reluctant to share because one, girls are reading this as well (Sorry lol... but yall probably already know them) and 2 you... the guy, will probably fuck it up any way. But the main thing is to understand her and the void that you fill, you have to know what to say at the right time to say it, I'll leave it at that. It is a delicate process trying to get it in, unless shes just feeling you that much and even then you can't fumble. Also, make no mistake, that as much as some girls don't show it, girls go out looking to meet people too that they want to handle biz with... the only difference is the way men and women are wired and the criteria that women look for, but I know many a girl that I am friends with that go out, with intentions of meeting some one interesting... will they take you home or vice versa, thats for you to play my friend.
Know this before I close. All women are different and things vary from girl to girl. You have to practice to get good. If you don't practice, you don't get skill. Make sure you talk to all kinds of women, and you will experience ups and downs, but think of it like a football game and you're the QB. If you stay patient in the pocket and make your throws you'll start to gain confidence and once you feel like you have the defense off balance... you can start to change your game up.
Just a skeleton or talkin to girls for all yall that have problems.
Much Love to you and yours