Paranormal Activity, A Must See

I’m a huge horror movie buff. I’ve probably seen 90% of the scary movies to come out in the last 4 years. They sucked.

Horror movies in this day and age attempt to establish some evil being or force and stop them all within 94 minutes only to find out that the evil still exists. If they got enough box office attention then they can have the sequel. The sequels are worse. Yet my dumb black ass always views a commercial and says, “This is it! This is the one that will be good.” This happened with Mirrors, Shutter, and The Eye just to name a few. I get dooped once again. I walk out of the theater wanting 9 bucks back, even though I only paid 8 cuz of that student ID.
I’m no Gene Siskel. I’m no Roger Ebert. But this is a movie review and if you made it this far you might as well hear what I gotta say. Read on.

**There are some spoilers so read slowly if you haven’t seen this movie and plan on it. But hell I’d watch it again. Also, we, the horror movie lovers of America, are tired of sick fuckers like Rob Zombie making some straight doo-doo chowder movies. And someone, please kill Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees (and all his family members), that lil bitch from the Grudge (all those Asians), Freddy Kruegar and all of the other “horror icons”. Alien, Predator and any epic battle the big headed bitch and Rasta wanna have, fuck it all. Let’s be creative Hollywood.**

First of all, if you missed the marketing campaign for this movie, you missed a very articulated and masterfully performed media blitz. The campaign rarely depicted images of the movie, and after watching the movie, most of the commercial scenes were not actually in the movie. Brilliant. Cuz the whole time I was waiting for this one scene to make me jump, and it never came had me on the edge the entire time. The campaign also showed people in the theater freaking the fuck out. The campaign was very risky. This part was genius to me as a marketing major in college. The commercials promised that they would only bring the movie to a certain area if a specific number of people requested it. You had to actually go on the website and sign up and vote for it. Of course you would get spam in your email, but as a scary movie enthusiast you would do anything to have a movie of worth.

I requested it. But did I watch it in theaters? Nope. I found it online in HD. Seek and ye shall find. My roommate works for the gov’t and I’m afraid I might go to jail if I put the site.

This movie was not done in any special way. There was no elaborate evil to explain. There was no blood (well not really). There was no nigga in a mask or painted up, the vision of some whacked out dude. It was done from the aspect of a home video camera, kinda like Blair Witch Project, but not as hokey or cheesy. It was executed brilliantly and there was none of the jerky headache created like in Cloverfield.


Most of the movie is shot from the angle in the bedroom where you can see the couple who are being haunted in bed and a barely lit hallway. This took me, and I’m sure others, to a time when I was young and looking down a dark hallway was terrifying. The movie is shot exclusively in the home of the couple and you are consistently on edge.

The actors in the movie, yes this is not an actual story, are surprisingly good considering the role and the magnitude of this film. They are unknown to add to the authenticity. The couple work well together and the fear in them is transferred to the viewer tenfold, or so I felt it.

The conclusion of the movie is mad crazy and unexpected. It’s led up to by a crescendo of encounters with the demon spirit that causes havoc for the couple. To end this review, I’m a large black male and my palms were sweating watching this movie. It is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen and DARE you to watch it alone in a dark room. I did. I slept alright, but not really. Highly recommended and a great movie. Fellas, make your lady friend watch it, she’ll hate you but if you play your cards right, fearful spooning can turn into fun-filled forking.


L’Chaim… P!ed P!per