There have been a few instances where I have talked to a few
people I care about and they are expressing some type of relationship
stress. That may be in a love
relationship, friendship or family relationship. Below are 5 takeaways from those
conversations to maintain a healthy relationship. We here at 5ivebruhs have a really special bond and it doesn't just happen overnight and with no effort. This is not a complete list by any means, but
just some things that have dawned on me during the past week or so.
One. Evaluate the
company you keep. At this point in all
of our lives we should have a pretty good idea about who we are and what we
require in a relationship with someone else.
If you can’t be cool with someone who is a liar, don’t involve yourself
with someone you know to lie. If finances are a big thing, don’t be friends with
someone to who money is no issue. How often do you see well to do folks chilling with bums. You are the company you keep. If being on time is a huge thing for you, don’t
be friends with black people. Just kidding (sorta). There is absolutely nothing wrong with not
being friendly and desiring a relationship with someone just because they seem
like a decent person. You can be courteous, realize that this is a hi and bye
type thing and keep it moving. No harm No foul.
Two. Be honest at all costs. Seems like the easiest way to ruin a relationship is to be
dishonest. Trust is a very fragile
thing. Some of us trust until proven
wrong and some of us need our trust to be earned by every new individual in our
lives. I, for one, am honest to a
fault and need you to earn my trust. I have the worst conscience and it actually does something weird to me
to be dishonest. I’m a terrible liar. I
believe this keeps my close friends close because they know they always know I’m
giving the truth, even if it hurts. It
also keeps the fakes away because it makes me a "tough guy to get along with" (Drake. That's for you Walt).
Three. Man up. If
there comes a situation where you are in the wrong, man the hell up. If you do wrong by someone say I’m sorry. I
know pride is a bitch, but pride cometh before the fall people . Nothing can
make someone look at you and think, “…this muhfucka…” faster than not manning
up in your situation. This can be as small as admitting you didn’t wash your utensils before going back into the pot of curry goat (I definitely washed that
damn spoon cuzzo), fessing up to the cops that the dime bag is indeed yours
to as big as taking a murder rap for someone you actually killed. In all of these situations (minus that last
one you murderous fiend) respect isn’t lost.
They can be mad or whatever but if they are really your friend, they
will FORGIVE you and actually know that you are less likely to betray them to
cover your own ass. And say sorry damnit!!! Sometimes even if you feel like you’re
not in the wrong, if someone is being stubborn and unreasonable, just say you
are sorry for w/e and let them have the win. LET THEM HAVE IT. If you can see
through the fog and see that this is pointless, its your responsibility to think
rationally, if you care. Part of manning up is being humble and taking the
high road. Sorry doesn’t really mean that much if you think about it, but it
can mean the difference in having or not having a relationship. Real talk. And if someone is trying to keep it real and admit they are wrong FORGIVE
THEM. I know I have trouble with forgiving, but I can admit that and try
to fix it.
Four. Break bread.
Nothing will keep a relationship going like breaking bread with your
friend/partner/family member. A good
meal and a good drink does way more than you know. When you eat and drink your body releases endorphins
and these give you a feeling of comfort and at ease. You then associate these feelings with the
company you’re keeping. Its science
people. You gotta eat to live, and when you do this vital act with someone you
care about doubles the sensation. Am I the only one who sees someone eating
alone and feel like something isn't right? I always have the urge to go up and ask them what's wrong. They usually try to hide this by
reading books, checking cell phones etc. Also, I just love to eat. Feed me and
love me. My girl found this out early. Food gets you on a brothas good side quick.
Five. Show the person you are having a relationship that you
care. This is the most important thing you can to maintain a long and meaningful relationship.
I refuse to end a conversation with any of my family members without saying “I
love you” whether the conversation was an argument or a celebration. And everyone doesn’t say it back. But that’s alright. They know I care about them and that’s enough for me. Even when I get off
the phone with any of the 5ivebruhs, I will often tell them that I love them. Homo, mo
homo, no homo I don’t give a shit. Its just how it is. Deal with it. Do something nice for someone who means
something to you for no reason. Think
about the last time you told your mom, dad, best friend, dog etc that you loved
them. If you have to actually think about it, then stop thinking and start
doing. Call them now, have a conversation and end it with “I love you”. They will be appreciative and that
relationship is on its way to being fruitful.
2 comments:
6. SEX
So you be kissing cousins?
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