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Upon listening to J Cole, and Wale’s new album, I find
myself getting increasingly frustrated with mainstream hip-hop artists these
days. Hip Hop has fallen into a value menu kind of production, where you look
at an artist album list and you find yourself able to tell what a song is about
based on title and whose featured. What’s even more bitchass about this problem
is even the beats are predictable. It’s like going to McDonald's and selecting
a value menu. You know exactly how much it will be, how it will taste, and even
essentially what it will look like. You don’t go to McDonald's for variety,
but the same old shit. And just like McDonald's, these Value Menu flows are
unhealthy to the art. These artist stay in their lane, get their
checks and pump out the same recycled Starbucks raps that you can find on any
one of their features.
THE HIP HOP MEAL
MENU!
$3.99 The Nicki Minaj
Ass Clap
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“Hey I got Nicki Minaj
on a verse.” “Oh Word.” “Yep, Guess what’s the song about.” “Ummm deep
resonating story of how you escape poverty?" “Nope.” “Hard in the paint flow, where
both of you use words in new and interesting ways?” “Nah nigga.” “ASS ASS ASS?” “Hell
Yeah, how you know?”
$5.00 High Ass a Kite
Khalifa
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Wiz takes the best of
the Pharcycde, whittles it down too only their smoking references, takes out all the
humor and wonderful word play, lights a blunt himself, forgets what the song was about in the first place, lights another blunt, says Taylor Gang a couple times, lights a third blunt, naps, and then lays 16 bars of pure garbage.
$7.99 Rick Rosay
Super Size
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B.I.G and Jay
perfected the God Father rap. Rick Ross made it a cliché.
$6.00
Gisfucthekjaubaubgibg Wheezy Baby
Half the time I have
no idea what this brother is saying. The other half I wish I didn’t.
$8.00 For the Girls
Flow
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Drake’s one of those
artists that is hit or miss for me. Out of anyone on this list, I truly believe
Drake is pushing the envelope. He took Kayne’s backpack pour my heart out style
of rap, got rid of the black conscious part, and turned it mainstream. Like
making a Black Panther movie distributed by Disney. However if you want that
song where teenagers can hold each other close at prom, you go to Drake.
$2.00 2 Chainz 2 line
Dr. Seuss
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Ever notice how 2
chains can only really rap 2 lines at a time. That’s because he can only think
2 lines at a time.
$.99 Jock T-Pain’s
entire Image: The Future
Can't afford Miguel or Chris Brown. Need a tone deaf rapper sing on track so bad even auto tune can't help. Don't want to pay T-Pain. Yep, you got The Future.
100 Pesos Trinidad
James’ What The Fuck
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I just can’t.
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