The Hip Hop Happy Meal

http://c.cslacker.com/2872l.jpg

Upon listening to J Cole, and Wale’s new album, I find myself getting increasingly frustrated with mainstream hip-hop artists these days. Hip Hop has fallen into a value menu kind of production, where you look at an artist album list and you find yourself able to tell what a song is about based on title and whose featured. What’s even more bitchass about this problem is even the beats are predictable. It’s like going to McDonald's and selecting a value menu. You know exactly how much it will be, how it will taste, and even essentially what it will look like. You don’t go to McDonald's for variety, but the same old shit. And just like McDonald's, these Value Menu flows are unhealthy to the art. These artist stay in their lane, get their checks and pump out the same recycled Starbucks raps that you can find on any one of their features.

THE HIP HOP MEAL MENU!

$3.99 The Nicki Minaj Ass Clap

http://mtv-tv.mtvnimages.com/images/flipbooks-1/nicki-minaj-butt-gifs/nicki-minaj-bum-21.gif?width=500

“Hey I got Nicki Minaj on a verse.” “Oh Word.” “Yep, Guess what’s the song about.” “Ummm deep resonating story of how you escape poverty?" “Nope.” “Hard in the paint flow, where both of you use words in new and interesting ways?” “Nah nigga.” “ASS ASS ASS?” “Hell Yeah, how you know?”

$5.00 High Ass a Kite Khalifa

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m34a8xl2rG1qjpwpao1_500.gif

Wiz takes the best of the Pharcycde, whittles it down too only their smoking references, takes out all the humor and wonderful word play, lights a blunt himself, forgets what the song was about in the first place, lights another blunt, says Taylor Gang a couple times, lights a third blunt, naps, and then lays 16 bars of pure garbage.

$7.99 Rick Rosay Super Size

http://standrivel.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/rick-ross-shirtless-3.jpg

B.I.G and Jay perfected the God Father rap. Rick Ross made it a cliché.

$6.00 Gisfucthekjaubaubgibg Wheezy Baby

http://cdn.rtny.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/wayne11.jpg

Half the time I have no idea what this brother is saying. The other half I wish I didn’t.

$8.00 For the Girls Flow

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr4n00gEz41r25jxgo1_250.jpg

Drake’s one of those artists that is hit or miss for me. Out of anyone on this list, I truly believe Drake is pushing the envelope. He took Kayne’s backpack pour my heart out style of rap, got rid of the black conscious part, and turned it mainstream. Like making a Black Panther movie distributed by Disney. However if you want that song where teenagers can hold each other close at prom, you go to Drake.

$2.00 2 Chainz 2 line Dr. Seuss

http://icarly.ytv.com/assets/4/image/2012/05/04/55150_1316992128.jpg

Ever notice how 2 chains can only really rap 2 lines at a time. That’s because he can only think 2 lines at a time.

$.99 Jock T-Pain’s entire Image: The Future

 Can't afford Miguel or Chris Brown. Need a tone deaf rapper sing on track so bad even auto tune can't help. Don't want to pay T-Pain. Yep, you got The Future.

100 Pesos Trinidad James’ What The Fuck

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll7365XmWK1qe9bil.gif

I just can’t.

Can Someone please explain Drake to me?

So I was going over the list of the Hip Hop award nominations, and notice that Drake was looking at taking top honors in Best Lyrics, Best new artist, song, etc. I couldn't help but wonder what is the appeal of Drake. This is an honest question from a hip hop head. What is it about Drake that seems to connect to so many people.

Now before you start chanting hater at me, hear me out. Drake has been pegged as the next hova. His lyricism has been compared to Jay-Z and Em. He was "honored" with Kayne West's first attempt at directing a music video. He has been featured on almost every major mix tape release this year. In short, the brotha is blowing up. So Why?

I have been told that Drake appeals to women. Women are a pinnacle market in entertainment. If you can reach the 14 to 22 age range, you are golden. This is what Elvis did, the Beatles, and Micheal Jackson.

There is an interesting pattern happening in Pop culture. Disney is pushing a slew of bands and performers, all designed to capture that particular age group. With this knowledge I have a theory on Drakes popularity. He is the Hip-hop equivalent to the Jonas Brothers.

Check out who has taken Drake under his wing. Hip hop fans tend to follow their chosen artist like a cult. The artist becomes an pinnacle part of the every day life style of the fan. You can always tell a Lil Wayne fan, a Jay-z fan, a Roots fan, etc. Drake is apart of one of deepest hip hop cult around, the cult of Lil Wayne. With Lil Wayne as a mentor, it is only natural that fans of Lil Wayne would latch on to Drake as the inheritor of Lil Wayne's own lofty position.

I guess the final answer I can give is marketing. The brotha knows how to market himself. He finds his niche and exploits it well. Avoiding unnecessary beef, producing hits that will make women dance, and working a style that is his own yet still conforming to the norm of the time. That's about all I got. Now I could be wrong. If someone has a better explanation then I would love to hear it.