Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Top 5 Activities I've done with my former friend Mary Jane

Top Five Things I’ve Done While High…

**DISCLAIMER- I do not condone smoking nor do I recommend you get high with the intentions of performing these acts. This is STRICLY a relaying of my past experiences.

My man Jonny has written several articles that have been “influenced” by the sweet lady with two first names. Mary. Jane. Now whereas as it has been well over a year since I have chosen to smoke, I have been the partner of Jonny in a couple toking sessions. I am a very soon employer of the federal government and we do not condone that, so I don’t smoke, let that be known.

In this article I will be telling you the top five things I have done while high. If you choose to smoke it's on you. Once again I DO NOT condone it, but these are some things I did while in my state of bliss. If you’ve done any of these while high, you’ll know the sensational feeling (©Fleece Johnson) you get.

5. Dancing
Now for some reason, when I dance I feel like my heart provides the bass for whatever song is being played. I feel like I can’t miss the beat because essentially I’m making the beat. Being high makes you think some crazy shit. I remember dancing with this one chick and while her bum was vigorously massaging me, I remember feelings like on ever hit of the snare my body would snap and pop at the perfect moment. I immediately thought, “This chick now thinks I’ll be great in the sack… I’m bout to get me some!” Song ended and she walked away… Damn.
dance-6.gif weird dance image by saypeace

I know people say you should enjoy your high at home in private but for some reason being high around a bunch of people excites me. It makes me feel like there is something I know that they don’t and I’m not telling. No matter if you’re off beat or if there isn’t even a song playing, you’ll feel like you can’t be off beat. Period.

4. Listening to music
I don’t wanna go too far into this one because Jonny recently wrote an article about this very thing. But I will give one story. One time me and some people were listening to some music in an apartment while high and every song the guy played was the BEST SHIT I EVER HEARD. I quickly texted myself the titles of the song b/c I thought they were just that hot. I downloaded the songs and listened and they were just ok, even though I still like the songs. What about the weed made is seem like these songs deserved instant Grammy’s? One song I remember was “Everyone Nose Remix.” It’s the song of the day.

3. Ate a Sampler
If you don’t know what a sampler is, get cha mind right. Them shits are delicious not high, high, drunk, not drunk, drunk and high or whatever. It’s just a bunch of friend shit. We frequented Sandy’s Sandwich Shop and got the sampler whenever high. It was a must have. They cost like $8, and no matter what, we managed to find that $8. I dunno how cuz we was some broke ass niggas. The sampler consisted of fried chicken rings (rings nigga), french fries, onion rings (rings nigga), fried mushrooms fried calamari rings (rings nigga), AND mozzarella sticks! YEA BUDDY!

Now I know there aren’t Sandy’s everywhere in the world, but I have a tip for you. Hit up IHOP, they have a decent substitute.

Best believed we greased on that. “WITH ALL THE SAUCES!” ©Jonny Cassanova. It was like we were all thirsty and nothing could quench our thirst, but when you swallow that fried goodness, you were suddenly not thirsty… it was like Bear Grylls found that oasis in the desert and was able to live. Then you go in for more. One time, I didn’t feel like getting up to get the food and I had one delivered across the living room accompanied by this song sung by a good buddy of mine… “If you can’t come to the sampler, Tha Sampler gonna come to you! HEY HEY!”

Good times.

2. Astrojax
Ok, so I only did this once but damn did I enjoy myself. Shouts to my girl Elisa for putting me up on this. I literally played with this damn toy for about an hour. The concept of Astrojax is three balls and a string. Two balls on the ends and one ball that is suspended and can move freely on the string.

While I played with the Astrojax, my two friends watched me in amazement as though I was awesome at doing tricks. Hell, we even had the conversation that I was so good that I should go on tour performing for crowds. My homegirl even said she would come along and be my assistant and untangle the Astrojax when I mess them up. We would have taken the world by storm bitches!! Until we realized that we were only fascinated by the fact that our neurons were firing at a much slower rate.

1. Freestyling
Whether you are good at it or not, freestyling is my all-time number one thing to do while high. I will never be able to do so again, but the times and rhymes created will never be forgotten. I’ve had several people attempt to create a rap group with me and attempt get me on some tracks. I simply laugh at them cuz they are usually high white boys. My computer is filled with instrumentals that we’ve used to try to become in-home rap stars. There are no losers cuz we all win.

Me and my boys STILL quote specific lines to this day that were created while on the mic and on the green. Love ya’ll.

L’Chaim… P!ed P!per

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