young dick (mo homo)

You ever have a hard time givin’ a fuck about shit you’re supposed to give a fuck about © Patrice O’Neal

I feel like this, a lot. I’ll sit and watch BS news stories on CNN or MSNBC and try to conjure up some sympathy or compassion….and nothing is there. It’s like if I had a fuck to give you, I’d keep it for myself......However…

Kelly Watson

I have a small issue with female teachers being sent to jail for sleeping with their male students. On my level of care, this ranks about a two. For instance, if you needed a signature to change the law, I’d sign it. But if I have to get out of bed and go somewhere to sign it…not happening. I’ll stay at the back of the bus on this issue…. Back to my point….Every case I have read regarding this situation shows the male student being a willing participant in the sex. Now, if the sex is not consensual, then that is a problem…obviously. But in a situation where it is consensual and the teacher is caught, then she should be fired but not sent to jail. I understand that teachers are looked upon as authority figures in the classroom and the community. If something like this happened to where my child went to school, I would definitely want the teacher fired. Simply because she would not have any respect from the students, and would not be able to have a productive classroom.  I understand that. However, consensual sex is consensual sex. No 16 yr. old boy is turning down sex with a teacher if she’s offering to kick it up. And more importantly, no manipulation or breach of trust occurs when “trying” to convince a teenage boy to have sex with a teacher. The same cannot be said if it were a male teacher, sleeping with a female student. Which is why male deviants receive harsher penalties than the female deviants. I understand and am comfortable with this double standard.

I have no issue with female teachers wanting young dick. None. If anything, I feel sorry for them. Nothing says desperation like hooking up with a high school kid...it’s the very definition of hustling backwards. She started off in high school fucking high school kids. Ten years later, same thing….However, if the kid can start off his sex career with knocking off his teacher, more power to him. If I were a parent, I would be more upset that he was caught having sex, instead of him having the sex….just as long as no kids or STD’s are involved.

Sarah Jones

Look at it like this….you’re a high school kid. You either are a virgin or new to sex. Right now, you’re in training camp. These high school years of you having sex will prepare you for the sex you eventually will have post high school. Out of nowhere, you….as a high school kid….have a chance to hook up with her (she is a former cheerleader for the Cincinnati Bengals and a part-time teacher; she was accused of sleeping with one of her students). Not only are you hooking up with the teacher, but you’re fucking a NFL cheerleader as well. Granted, I don’t think she’s that cute, but…who cares. It’s not something you should turn down. Especially in high school. It’s like playing on your JV team, and then getting a call to join the NFL. If you can pull a professional cheerleader at 16, your sex career and social life is promising. 

And this is where it falls apart. Because she’s a cheerleader, you are going to want to tell someone. Especially when you are in the NFL, and all of your friends are stuck on JV. Your friends will tell other people who want to be in the NFL, and eventually tell the wrong person who hates just a little too hard, and then it’s over. She gets fired and arrested, and you’re back to JV. 

Erin Sayar

I would love to meet someone and they tell me about how they were able to successfully fuck their high school teacher for years, and not get caught. That would be great.  Even better, I would love to meet a female teacher who was able to successfully fuck their male students for years, and not get caught. Although I’m sure she would be creepy as hell and a deviant (NSFW), I need to know the rationale behind this. At first I thought, this is some white girl shit. But I was wrong. There are black women out there doing this same foolishness…and I have no idea why. In the words of Joe…I wanna know.

The moral of the story:  stop snitchin. 

Game of Thrones Black Count Is Offically Up to Four (Spoiler kind of)

Hoping he ends up a badass. Image Url: http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Grey_Worm

If you've been following Game of Thrones, we recently got a new addition this season. Not spoiling to much, the episode introduces Grey Worm, commander of the Unsullied. Grey Worm is portrayed by Jacob Anderson, 22 year old British actor whose biggest role thus far was a movie call Adulthood (never seen it so I have no idea what it is). So far all he does is take off his mask, look menacing, and gabber in Vallarian. The rest of the black cast are below, minus random extra's.

Hot! Image Url: http://queendaenerysofdragons.tumblr.com/relationships

Badass! Image url: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/game-of-thrones/images/30306877/title/salladhor-saan-fanart

Colossal Douche. Image Url: http://marikalee9.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/im-like-what-in-the-books-the-xaro-xhoan-daxos-edition/

Why We Need a Black John Shepard.

-->

My brother recently picked up a copy of the Mass Effect trilogy for PS3. As he tentatively booted up his PlayStation, and the opening credits began I grew increasingly excited. I had just beaten Mass Effect 3, and ended almost a decade long foray into this fantastic universe. I knew what kind of nerd he was, and how much fucking fun his experience will be.

As he went through the opening barrage of questions that the game asks you in order to create your own unique Shepard, I remarked casually “So you making Shepard black?” 

“Of course”, he replied instantaneously. “I got to.”

For our lighter readers, this conept of “got to” stems from minority nerds having very few instances of positive images we can associate with. Mass Effect is the exception to the rule. You can make your Shepard skin color anything  under God’s green earth, change his gender, and even his sexual orientation. It’s pretty amazing the level of customization you have in such an early game.

For everything positive in Mass Effect, it was still problematic. The Asari, a race of hyper sexualized females predictably Angelo Saxon in their depiction. All of the love interests with the exception of Tali (who when she removed her mask was still pretty white looking) are white, or kind of Italian. Vega was a colossal masculine Latino whose only Spanish was “Loco”, like he slept through Spanish 1 in high school and that was the only word he remembers. Jacob, the black magic user, was okay, but even he suffered. He came across wooden and not very powerful, and thus not very popular. For all the amazing customization we are still left with very few strong minority secondary characters to latch on to.

If you follow the “cannon” Mass Effect story line, Shepard is a white straight male. He’s voiced as a white straight male, and played as such. If you make him gay, these relationships seemed forced and uncomfortable because he is still very straight in the way he pursues his gay companions. If you give him a brown shade of skin, his voice is a stark antithesis to the character we are controlling. Even “Fem Shep”, the female version of the main character, ends up being a dude with boobs. Lost is the sensitivity because her lines and choices follow the exact same track as her male counterpart.  So despite the wonderful customization we have over our experience, it is in the end a glass ceiling to true immersion.

Minorities in this country have struggled for positive representations. Our struggles have not been in vain. It’s gotten us to the point where actively we watch like hawks, and descended on our various digital soapboxes to rage against injustices. As an effect, those creating the media are extra carful as not to offend us. But still something is lacking to make our experience truly feel special.

Why can’t we have our default characters reflect a more wider and diverse landscape? Shouldn’t our cannon stories begin to include a broader representation of the cultures that play video games? Positive doesn’t mean that our characters need to always speak well, or make good moral choices. Positive means we're regular people in extraordinary circumstances.

Glen in Walking Dead is an amazingly positive character for Asian Americans because he is simply a guy. He doesn’t do Karate, isn’t the funny one, etc. He is simply a dude, who has a normal (albeit surrounded by zombies) relationship, and is an active member of the group. He is Korea, and it’s extremely important to his character, but like all minority Americans his culture informs who he is, it’s not the only defining aspect of his personality. Its that choice that needs to happen with everything in nerd culture. It’s no longer enough to just have that one black secondary character who’s only define personality trait is the fact that he’s black.

I went back to watch my brother play Mass Effect. He had beaten Mass Effect 1 and was working through the sequel.  I asked him what he thought.

“Shepard is kind of a douche,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, with his voice and my character he just kind of comes off as a douche.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s really white.”

“Word, I can see that.”

“It’s a great game though.”

That it is.

Coming April 29th

We're working on the updated site now and shall launch the first new post of 5ivebruhs in a year!