Tuesday, August 25, 2009

You know you're a hoe if...

Some serious, some hilarious but all true.

If you find yourself in 3 or more of these categories... You may need to take a look inside...



You slept with me the first night you met me...


You answer my post 2am texts...


You can't hold your “Drunk” ass up...so you decide to lean on mine...


You're a chapter favorite...


You pay for my gas and food in exchange for company....(think about it)


Your walk to class is a statistical analysis...


You slept with me the first night you met me...


Movies aren't for watching...


You get upset when he doesn't call after a drunken night and then realize “story of my life”...


You're in denial of your hoe-dom...


Your girls have to run hook up patrol on you...


Your vagina is just disappointed in you...


You cried over Juicy Campus...


Your shirt got more fabric than your pants...


You friended me on facebook and didn't know me from shit...


Your number exceeds the jersey number of the last athlete you slept with +10...


You have kids to collect child support...


You feel the need to argue the double standard of men to women EVERYTIME it comes up...


Your gyno refers to you as their best customer...


You slept with me the first night you met me...


Your facebook status tells on you constantly...


Kristen S...


You're a sophomore making freshman mistakes...


“Don't worry, thats regular, just keep going”...


You self admit to being a hoe...


Stories of your sexual practices migrate across great distances and stand the test of time...


Your insecurities make sex the only answer...


We caught you in the freshman football locker room giving head to two of out team mates...


The gum is still there...


There is no such thing as the friend zone...


All your friends can do is shrug when asked about you...


Your vagina has no scruples...


You've slept with your friends boyfriend or romantic interest...


You slept with your friends boyfriend or romantic interest after he came after you...


You've messed with an unfathomable number of men...


You slept with me the first night I met you...



But hoes need love to, thats why this post is dedicated to all of you all, no matter what your number, be it big or small. Heres to you, the common hoe. CHEERS!



Much Love to you and yours

@Dead Mike

6 comments:

Kelia said...

LMAO..i do not fall into any of these categories but can think of many who do! lol

Michelle said...

Lmao @ the Kristen S. comment and the reoccurring "You slept with me the first night I met you..."
Pure comedy

POL141BAF said...

Well...guess that means i'm not a hoe lol. But I know a couple/few girls who would fit into a numer of those categories.

Lexi said...

a vagina with no scruples??? now that's just a problem!! lol

The Nomad said...

James...I love you

jNichole said...

Glad to see this one because MANY females need to "Take a look inside" but question, does this list apply for the guys also? I think I know a few guys who qualify as well, Lol.