Monday, August 10, 2009

No longer 1999: Some one please let the south know!

I'm doing this as a service to the good people of the South. Note...this isnt all of yall just a good majority. To you whom I speak of I feel the need to let you know something. IT IS 2009. Not 1999 any more... PULL YOUR PANTS UP! PUT YOUR WHITE TEES AWAY AND PLACE YOUR SHIRTS IN THE DRYER AND SET THEM TO SHRINK.

Ever since I moved to the south, I've come to the realization that the south is perpetually behind the rest of the world when it comes to fashion. From some of the artists like Algernod Washington other wise known as 'Plies' to the 

every day nigg, pants seem to be sagging and tee's and polos seem to be longer than ever and the ridiculousness of the copy cat style of good labels like Gucci and Prada is becoming more annoying. Well I am hear to tell you that that era of style is LONG GONE. If you are an avid consumer of fashion like I am, you know that today's look is a more European style that involves form fitting clothes, uniqueness and swag. Lets take a look at some examples...

Here we have “my boy”, OJ Da Juiceman. Side note: OJ Da Juiceman??? huh....? Anyway, lets take a look at this outfit. Starting with the T-Shirt. Some one please shoot his stylist, if he even has one. The shirt is about 3 to 4 sizes too big not to mention the pants. Honestly,

 who matches their pants to their shirt with a bird on the crotch and on the chest. Dumb Nigga. And my favorite part of the outfit... the boots! I mean I coulda given the dude a little respect if he was wearing Tims for the shear fact that they were actually and still are a respectable shoe, what is he wearing? They look like a cross between Kanye's new kicks and a fucked up pair of hunti

ng boots from wal-mart.

This outfit may not have been accpetable in 1999. OJ...YOU FAIL


Id like to look at Crime Mob. Look at the picture.... …. …. …. self explanatory. Diamond o

r Princess should take in Cynco Black's T and wear it as a dress. I mean c'mon. Its niggas like this that are 

the reason that some people don't have blankets at night. Crime Mob...YOU FAIL. And we see this from city to city. Jacksonville to Shreveport, Birmingham to Charlotte.

I propose a couple solutions to this dilemma that is plaguing the southern states.

  1. Blow up all Citi Trendz locations.

  2. Impose a dresscode on school age rappers like Soulja Boy Tell'Em

  3. Put itching powder in every pair of slouch sox.

  4. Let them know that Barack won and give them the memo that they're setting us back.

Or do what most of the fashion world does... say fuck the south, and move on. Oh and another side note... that camo shit yall wear is stupid too.

So lets be real... First I'd like to big up those artists from the south that actually understand fashion. BUT more importantly. I'd like to issue a statement.

Before you decide to leave your place of residence looking like this:

Get a magazine, watch a TV show or read this blog and get your mind right.

Much love to you and yours,

@Dead Mike.


Jonny Casanova said...

Im mad u had to shout out my city, but I can't deny I've seen some shit like that walkin around my city streets.

Cheri said...

*sigh* I just moved to Raleigh. And I see this stuff every day.

*Lil Jon lookin' boys

And don't get me started on the females.

*Kitten heels (sorry ladies, I know these are a wedding favorite)
*Toes hanging out their sandals lookin crazy
*Midriffs showin, guts to the floor

I can't even continue, as I'm starting to have a panic attack thinking about this.

Nice job!

jNichole said...

This is hilarious... And even though I am quite Southern, I must say that this is very true and needs to be put on blast so this madness will end... Good Job. Lol

K. Jobe said...

yes, please let them know. I didn't even dress like that in the 90s, but now I expect people to catch up/ Styles change...let it go.

Lexi said...

you are promoting terrorism... but citi trendz locations DO need to be dealt with... and ANY store in the mall that sells shirts with looney tunes characters on them...

My Shoe Bag said...

good stuff. i think you guys would enjoy our blog over at's basically the same premise of keeping it real w/ humor installed.

Jackie M. said...

I'm in Charlotte now so I see this mess everyday! The other week I saw a negro walking down a main street with baggy jeans (boxers hanging out), slouch socks with some Airforce 1s and NO SHIRT!! Why was he not wearing a shirt? Is there a beach somewhere in Charlotte that I don't know about?

Dead Mike said...

In response to Jackie M.

That look would F the beach up too.


Kelia Evans said...

i completely agree. I once had an ex boyfriend whose everyday dress composed of white T's and sweatpants. To dress up he would throw on a Jesus chain and his that somehow made the outfit stand out and look stylish. Honestly its getting old. And don't they realize it makes them look even smaller when they wear oversized T's = unattractive?

Cyn said...

im sorry, im really mad at the ignorant trash pack at the end of the article. really? everyone used the same yard of fabric to make their prom outfits!?! thats not even 90s, thats just sad. lmao where did you find that mess

in response to kelia, LMAO
jesus chain + grills = NO NEGRO!!!

ellenwoodareafuckwitusweburyya said...

crime mob would knock the shit out of you watch it son

Dead Mike said...


Mary said...

Umm I'm a southerner and I know plenty of southern boys who dress just fine...lets not make this a southern thing, this is a ghetto thing, ghetto boys all over dress like that...and on another note, interesting to see you're so comfortable with the word nigger.

Dead Mike said...

Lovers and Haters alike come together under 5ivebruhs.

Love yall for it.

ELA Exclusive said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ELA Exclusive said...

While I do find the fashion sense of a sect of southern black "men" (term used losely) extremely appalling, I also find the nappy braids under a dirty do-rag, covered with a brand new fitted, a bit ridiculous. OR the I'm gonna be SUPER "metrosexual" and wear skinny jeans when I weigh 1000 lbs. and STILL have my ass showing and have no laces in my sneakers ... TACKY!!!!! And it's not just a southern thing.

Moral of story ... even the so-called RIGHT fashion can go WRONG.