Wednesday, August 19, 2009

"Spittin' Game" Does NOT Exist

P!ed P!per® reporting live from my security booth, yes the boy is securing the premises and writing to the readers. (“Damn that boy can multitask!”) I’ve had this argument a couple times with the fellas and now I thought it appropriate to write this thing down. The act of game spittin’ does not exist! “Yo dog, my game is tight I be smashin’ hoes on the regular!” Shut the hell up and sit yo “hoe smashin’” ass down. They hoes, be easy cuz they easy. If you agree w/ me by the end of this we can smoke a peace pipe together, if not, to hell w/ you.

Game spittin’ is defined in the great book of correctness as, “the manipulation of a female to attain the state of sexual explosion nirvana.” (skeet.splash.) Agree or disagree that’s the goal, peace pipe or to hell, you choose.

***Let me clarify for the readers, there is a difference between HOES and WOMEN, so if you see the word hoe and you get offended, do some soul searchin’. Real dudes want that down ass chick, a real woman.***

If you don’t want that down ass chick you can aim low, so low that you can get no lower and hit the ground, but remember where animals shit, on the ground. Dig through animal shit if you want to, but not I says the P!per.

Now I’m not talking about holla’in at Ms. Debbie Downer Hoe, who’s mad depressed cuz she a hoe and you fool her ass into believing you’re gonna take her to the land of milk and honey. In the morning, she realizes you lied and she is back in the same situation, that’s jacked fellas. Or Twisted Tisha Hoe who was twisted waaaay before you got to the bar and bought her 5 Amaretto Sours and “convinced” her to come back to the crib, that’s rape fellas. Or even Worth-It Whitney Hoe who is fine as hell. But to win her you have to be buying the most drinks or flashing watches or be the highest bidder because in so many words, that’s prostitution fellas. SEE VIDEO (notice drunk chick on couch and the lack for need of game…)

So get that girl for the night if all you want to do is smash, but she’s a part of the game and so are you. You’re a part cuz of your intentions and she cuz she’s a hoe. Let’s not go around swindling people.

A woman will size you up before you even get up to her. Why? Cuz a lot of them are shallow. Just like we look at every booty that walk by like we in middle school, ladies decide who they “like” and “don’t like” like grade school, aint nothing changed.

IF there is a such thing as “spittin’ game”, then it lies only in not cock blocking yourself when she allows you pass that initial threshold. I call it the HOLLA (He Ok, Let’s Listen Awhile) threshold. Then all you gotta do is not tell the chick you kill puppies or masturbate to Sesame Street or some shit. And even if you DO mess up you can STILL smash, but it all depends on what she wants, its the power of the poon. Poon’s on a pedestal. (40 Year-Old Virgin ©) “Game spittin’” my ass. She’ll get to know you and your personality through prolonged conversation and interactions. She won’t get to know you as you “spit game” at an attempt to beat it up, cuz “game”, as you call it, is mostly lies.

“Game” doesn’t exist because you can’t change a girl’s mind. They stubborn as shit. If she’s DTF then she’s DTF, if not holla at Bob George he’ll put you on some porn so he can laugh and you can hand-crush til your heart is content. This is real-life, ain’t no Hitch® nonsense, in real-life that dude woulda been sharing a cell with OJ, stalkin’ ass negro. (Inspired by true events my ass) Point being, you can only do what she wanna do, nothing more cuz then you’ll be singing like Akon.

And I know it sucks cuz girls be on that other ish. So ladies, stop baiting dudes all the time and making them work so hard trying to win you over by “spitting game”, especially if they just wanna get to know you. There is no such thing as “game spittin’” only what ladies have tricked us to believe is necessary to get the poon. And we do it. Why? TO GET THE POON. Hell, that’s the reason dudes only want booty cuz after all that work of “spitting that game” that doesn’t exist, he wants some dividends. And always letting your stank girlfriend in the back pipe in, tell that chick to pull a George Bush and stop giving a f*¢k.

Game DOES NOT exist. All you gotta do is not mess up. Sometimes its best to just shut up, and if the best “game” is to not spit “game” then is “game” existent? Chalk that up to the game.

P!ed P!per®


Maximillian said...

I feel you Pied Piper. Girls do make up their minds before we even walk up to them, like we do. The "game spittin'" is only prolonging the inevitable if that's what the intentions are. These women are smart too, they know the difference between "game" and someone really wanting to get to know them. Or maybe some don't if "game" is all they're use to hearing. Then that would suggest her standards and intentions are only based on what she wants physically. If I'm a female, then I'm looking for someone who wants to get to know me versus getting my "poon" and therefore I don't even entertain "game." If "game" does exist, I guess it suggests low standards.

Jonny Casanova said...

the "HOLLA" acronym is genius...true as hell.

Anonymous said...

Yep I seen so called 'game' in action. niggas simply look retarded.

CtotheB said...

This article is hilarious and on point. Pass the peace pipe good sir lol.