Monday, August 10, 2009

a coach & his hos

quick story
im eating lunch with a lady friend and she’s complaining about why her man cannot commit to her. according to her, she cooks for him, has sex with him whenever he wants, and she likes sports…..SHE thinks she’s the total package for a male in his early 20’s and he should readily commit.
i had to tell her, he's not ready for nothing serious… his eyes, ur in his 'ho portfolio' and there's a flaw he sees that prevents him from being with you. he's doin the right thing.
today’s topic is mainly for the ladies entitled: "a coach & his hos"

men are visual creatures by nature. its how we're wired. we see something, we want it. men are simple.
if u haven't figured us out, that's your fault....

**regularly scheduled program**

all productive women wanting a relationship from an unwilling man will eventually ask this question to themselves: "i wonder how important i am to him"
this is usually when she wants to "talk"....right when Kobe is goin for 61. ouch.

to eliminate the "talk" conversation, im helping out both sides. this is coming from a chapter in my couples manual/book entitled "habitual side bitches" be on the lookout

there are 3 main types of side females

type #1 starts in middle school.
- these are usually the girls obsessed with information. they wanna know who got acne? who musty? who like who?.....stuff like that.
- these are the same girls, once they get in high school in get into "the game", try to cause drama in your life. they carry it over into their adulthood.
- these are the women who, when things don't go their way, come to your job to bring da ruckus, call your phone from a private #, follow u home.

generally do things to annoy you….

- so now, ask yourself...why would a man want that? he shouldn't. no productive male in society is gonna want a woman like that around. on the other hand, simp ass niggas will see this as a sign of her caring and loving for him. he will continue to put up with her craziness until they end up in child support court or the abortion clinic.

i classify these women as "snoopin hos".....they'd make great cops. they're good at tracking niggas down and forcing a confession. they’re never walkin down the aisle.

type #2: hater bitches
- these are the worse ones. simply because it starts at birth. they're usually good looking, but they crave attention and when they don't get it, they commence to hate.
- these are the girls who passed out a lotta sex in HS and college, and used that as a way to seek revenge on girls, by sleeping with their man. poor logic.
- these girls dwell in the "if i can't have him, no one can" mentality...thus you potentially get mcnair'd

- marinate on that description....hmmmmm.....why would a man want a woman like that? he shouldn't. but, turning down an attractive woman for sex is clearly not option. it may happen once, MAAAYBBBEE twice...3x, not gonna happen.

and that's how men end up dealing with the "hater", when they have a "main girl" the Bible, Joseph ran away but every man can't run that fast thus the hater bitch...


speakin of which Potiphar's wife was the 1st hater bitch. the inaugural hater bitch. she figured if Joseph doesn't sleep with me, i'll lie on him and have Potiphar throw him in prison. as a result,
we have the first rape charge (KOBE!), the first woman to have a man put in jail, and the first sexually dissatisfied spouse(she was the OG desperate housewife). read Genesis Chapter 39

type #3:
- this is the woman who doesn't have anything goin for her, but thinks she's the greatest thing ever. for example, she'll brag about having 3 nonsense jobs

-her (martin's sheneneh voice): i do huuurrrr, i babysit, and i walk daouwgs.....NICCA, how many jobs u got?
-me: i have one JOB…….. u have 3 hobbies, u like dogs, babies, and hair

- they always have some excuse about why they losing in life: i dropped outta homeschool, i got lost in Disney world when i was 8, i drained the fluid out my knee...its all nonsense.

- so why the hell would anyone wanna deal with that......this is usually the girl u call at 3am to sleep with. she's the last resort. she don't even know your real name. if u changed your phone # she wouldn't know u're alive.

all of these women will cause headache & stress in your life. these are girls who you dont care about.

you're out for the sex. ur goal is to skeet and skitdattle....that is all.

if you are reading this knowing ur a side girl fitting one of these characteristics, do not be offended....accept your position, and strive to be #1

however, if you have read this thinking "none of these apply to me".....u have an indivdual flaw that only ur man knows. its something holding him back. it could be as petty as u sneeze too much, ur hair won't grow, u too happy/smile all the time...anything.
that's it for now. im goin to watch the fugitive. thanx for reading

goodnight. © slick rick.


Maximillian said...

I agree when you told your lady friend that there's likely a flaw her man finds in her that prevents him from being with her. A problem I find is that he hasn't shared his unsatisfaction with her. However, he may not feel the need to do so if he has no intentions of pursuing a serious relationship with her. So why would he do that and risk losing all the attention (sports, sex & food) she's giving him now? And why would she do all of those things for him if she feels he's unworthy of it?

I would argue she should've taken more time to get to know him before taking the relationship to that level. Then she probably would've recognized the flaw she told you about early on and could've moved on with her life. It seems she is one of the "productive women" you talk about who found "an unwilling man."

You talked about the kind of women ("side females") that we don't want. I think most of us definitely know what we don't want and we have the opportunity to identify these things when we get to know that person before taking things to that next level. Yet, I think some men and women try to do both at the same time (or don't do it at all) and end up getting hurt when they find something they dislike because some kind of emotional attachment has been established. That attachment can easily be avoided though.

I recognized your use of the word flaw. In the end, you're willing to see past another person's flaws if you really care about them and want to be with them. If you can't see yourself doing that, what's the point in continuing to talk to them? However, if you're giving sports, sex & food, the man's (or woman's) gonna stick around enjoying the attention, thus holding you back from who you're really meant to be with.

ELA Exclusive said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ELA Exclusive said...

Kudos Brother George!

I think what we have here is a classic case of abuse ... that's right! I said ABUSE. Abuse is defined as to hurt or injure by maltreatment. Now, this lady friend has got the triple threat going on and her man is maltreating her by making her think that there is something wrong with her, therefore placing her in the "ho profile".

So dang! I mean, a woman to does the cooking, the cleaning, and her man, but she's a hoe. Or, she sleeps with different men without being in a relationship with them and gues what ... she's a hoe. Or, she cheats on her man that's cheating on her ... you guessed it ... HOE. On the other side, a woman saving herself for love or marriage is a prude.

So what is the definition of a good woman? What can a woman do to keep her man? I say, the minute you worry about that is the minute you lend yourself to abuse. The one with the power in a relationship is the one who can sit back and not do shit and make the other person feel inadequate.

Now, I can certainly agree that there are women who fit into each of these three categories, but if a guy doesn't want one of these "side hoes", my advice would be to be a man and admit your intentions from the jump. In doing this, you cannot ensure that your girl won't flip the fuck out ... but then that is her problem and honestly, gives you an out if you weren't feeling her anyway.

In the given scenario, I think both parties need to grow up. While I think early twenties is WAY too young to commit, if a serious relationship is what you are looking for, then don't avoid the talk.
If you are not looking for anything serious, then pick your poison ... hoe # 1, # 2, or # 3!

janet said...

why do you continue to degrade women as though they are animals> truth is you are single and really have no grounds to categorize hos.

Dead Mike said...

Some one enjoyed BG's article.

The Pied Piper said...

being single has nothing to do with categorizing hoes... if you single you mess with hoes possibly. if you gotta girl and youre NOT single you not messing w/ hoes.

janet said...

what u just said made no sense, u guys are r just women haters...that's the truth.

do u seriously call women hos...ur disgusting.

janet said...

and dead mike u can suck it

Dead Mike said...

Now we know Janet's a man.

janet said...

good one...

The Pied Piper said...

ummm not all women are hoes... which is why i separated from the WOMEN and the HOES... Don't get offended. Some women are hoes as are men. Point blank truth. If you get offended you might need to do some soul searchin...

Jonny Casanova said...

ELA EXCUSIVE you get the full understanding of the article and I like your input. Not only because I agree, u also made sure not to take things out of context like Janet did. Looks like Janet needs to read my article seems like she fits that mold.

janet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
janet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bob George said...


women in unhappy relationships and hater bitches would be upset at this article. u must fit one of the descriptions. thank u for showing your true colors.

men take note.

Mary said...

Come on guys y'all didnt have to delete Janet's comments like that. But ummm this to me is just an example of male immaturity and dumb ish. Boy's that dont make their intentions clear and take advantage of another person's feelings. Females can do it to, but Im keeping it relevant to the article. And I'm sorry but I don't think a side girl can upgrade to #1. By letting yourself be a side girl you already set up the rules of your relationship. It's like when girls have crushes on guys n think that by giving it up, he'll start to like them more and it'll develop into a real you just develop into a side piece (as you put it). Young ladies need to realize their worth and not accept whatever insecurities these males try and reflect on us. You're not the young man's mother and until you get in a position relationship wise where he's taking care of you in a certain way then you don't need to do that for him. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

ELA Exclusive said...

Amen Mary!

DJ M said...

as easily as a man could make his intentions clear, a woman can make her expectations clear.