Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Ok girl..."I Love You"..... Did that work?

Come one, come all it’s The Pied Piper reporting. Yo I’m about to go into a topic that might get some dudes in trouble (love ya’ll tho), it pertains to being aware of the things dudes say just to get what want from females, yes we do that. (as if you didn’t know). EARLY. Now where I’m not a perpetual user of such tactics (true) I know there are a couple phrases that have become staples in the ever present quest of simulating those acts which lead to procreation (sex). These include but are not limited too:

· “Oh I wasn’t trying to do anything like THAT. But give me a call next time you go out and we’ll try to hang out” (Translated: “Yeah you caught me THIS time, hopefully next time we’ll be a lil mo drunk so I can HOLLA!”)
· “Oh I don’t care if you gotta man, I was just hoping we can be friends because you seemed like a genuine person.” (Translated: “Your boyfriend ain’t got nothing on me and you was looking good as hell so I’m tryna STILL HOLLA!”)
· “Well I got some movies at my crib if you wanna just chill there, I’m tired from this party anyway. We can JUST chill.” (Translated: “HOLLA AT CHA BOY!!!!”)
·
Notice at all most dudes wanna do is “holla”. But we’ll address that later… Also notice how these phrases would follow situations in which you (the lady) would lead a dude to believe that there was a possibility for more. If I don’t smell dinner cooking, how the hell I’m gonna go downstairs expecting fried chicken? (Ponder ladies) We know what that homemade chicken smell like! If you hear my stomach growling feed me baby!

And the ladies are NO exception to this type of “I’m gonna fool that ass” lingo. All the fellas will know what she means when she says the following:

· “Not tonight I’m tired” (Translated: Hell NAW!)
· “Well tonight was fun, I guess I’ll see you later” (Translated: Hell NAW!)
· “I’ll have to check my schedule and get back to you” (Translated: Hell NAW!)
·
Notice at how all they want to do is tell you no, because if the answer is yes, she would just say yes. It’s simple. But we do appreciate you not sayin’ “Hell NAW” because a dude can flip and shake the shit out you! Oh real quick…
**Tangent: I do not condone hands on ladies, unless she hit in your face more than twice. Momma said, the first hit you let that slide because women can be emotional sometimes and they don’t know what they’re doing. Twice they are testing you and at this point they are just being damn foolish! And we don’t deal in foolishness do we son? Third time… YOU KNOCK THAT ASS OUT, because she is beyond wyl’n and in my FACE? Disrespect is disrespect no matter the sex, but fellas ya best bet is to walk away after the first hit, but if she chase you… Well let’s just say if she bad enough to initiate the sale, give that chick the business…**

Ok, now to address the notion of a young man hollering or courting a girl. (This is the real purpose of this article.) First of all ladies, WE DON’T ALWAYS want to have SEX! DING DING DING, Yes, that is correct!...

“Tell him what he’s won!”
“Well Bob, he’s won absolutely nothing because she don’t care and she just KNOOOOWS that nig just wants some booty!”
“Damn.”
Get off it ladies.

Sometimes we just want to chill as well. Like believe it or not, we might want to get to know you. Like the only place you might be able to get at a girl without her thinking you trying to get in her pants is at church, and hell that still isn’t necessarily true. A dude will say what he has to, to get what he wants, just like YOU too LADIES, but ya’ll are just too damn slick. Ladies just need to turn on YOUR BS meter, not your friend’s or your sister’s or your psychic’s or your best friend’s cousin who’s got 5 kids and no baby daddy, but YOUR BS meter and make sure it’s in full swing. If not, you make good dudes want to leave you where you stand, because you’re only thinking he wants that good-good (Cold Blooded! –Dave Chappelle) And your friends MIGHT be hatin’. Ponder that.

And lastly, let’s address the article title and dialogue about the words “I love you,” I know most dudes probably don’t even want to read those words out loud. And we know how ladies like to hear a dude say them and mark that as the ultimate commitment from a dude, but let’s think about this from his angle. He could just say it just to appease you, tap that a couple of times, and bounce just to break your heart. So then you can be on your SINGLE friend’s shoulder crying, and she telling you he was just a DOG because all men are DOGS. Thus fellas, all we have done is made another woman like that friend of hers that just won’t give any of us a chance, so let’s not do that ok? He could also just not say those words. Why? BECAUSE HE DOESN’T MEAN IT! For ladies its maybe be a little easier because you openly express love on a day to day, you love your girlfriends because they love you, you love your hairdresser because she makes you look good, you love Versace because only dudes with money can buy it for you, etc. For men, we love our family like no other. Point blank, a real man holds it down for his family (and his friends can become apart of this family) no matter what, and for him to say “I love you”, constitutes you being his family on a whole other level. A level beyond his boys because you and him are able to “unite” as one. I’ve said it twice to females that I was involved with and it’s a liberating feeling but at the same time it’s scary because you just don’t know the repercussions of your actions just yet. You expect the worse but hope for the best and are enlightened by the result. I would think a lady would prefer that dude that holds out til he absolutely means it, but you gotta be willing to let TIME do its thing, because there is no substitute for time. So basically ladies, give that good dude a CHANCE, just a chance, to mean what he says, because a man without his word is… nothing.

To the chicks who hate all men and the men who make them hate us look at it like this, love is the barren wasteland at the top of a cliff. You’ll climb til you’ve bypassed the caves of diamonds and the prettiest of flowers on the way to see what’s at the top. You’ll climb beyond the exotic wildlife and almost die on the sharp outcroppings in search of the beautiful forest that you just KNOW is at the peak… and then… the top is just an empty, barren, cold wasteland. It’s the empty barren cold wasteland at the top because it can leave you feeling both empty and cold if it doesn’t work out how you planned. But if you climbed that cliff at the right TIME and you’ve followed all of the guidelines that allow you to get there safely and followed your gut and gave CHANCES, you will see the daybreak. You will see that beautiful sunrise from a perspective you’ve NEVER experienced because you are on that cliff and you gain that feeling of awe and excitement and understanding of the beauty of what God has created. That time energy and effort is then realized in true happiness.

Pied Piper, toot.

3 comments:

Wistopher said...

[INSERT APPLAUSE]

[INSERT STANDING OVATION]

TRUISM!!!!!!!!!

[CONTINUES APPLAUSE]

THAT BOY GOOD!

poolsofshadow said...

I usually think more than I talk however, I am almost never at a loss for words; there simply are no words to express how amazing this piece is. You are an exceptional writer and the knowledge gained from having read this is overwhelming.

Maximillian said...

I like how you gave examples of what people say compared to what they mean. This shows that nothing is as it seems, thus illustrating the importance of getting to know a person and not falling for someone based on a first impression. That someone may have dishonorable intentions and he (or she) may end up getting hurt, making it harder for those of us who really want to get to know another person like you point out.