NPR tiny desk concert back in February of this year. He played 3 tracks, Same Love, Thrift Shop, and Hands Up or whatever that track is called. Anyway I heard this guy and thought cool, this kinda bohemian white rapper with this trumpet player that looks like they found him playing on a beach in Jamaica selling coconut water for a dollar to tourists. Oh and they got this fat nigga singing the hook who looks like a cast member from Sister Act 2. I had no idea this dude was about to take over my radio and television for the subsequent half year. This man is a phenom. He's an underground/internet sensation who is making guap off 3 tracks with no major label. I give him a lot of credit and personally find him to be a decent artist. Not my cup of tea but I get why he's popular. With that said let me continue...
This post is dedicated to the most entertaining combination of social media and pop culture that exists: Black Twitter + Any award show. This is the time when all the blackest funniest rachetest amateur twitter comedians come out to entertain the masses. It also happens to be one of my favorite hobbies. While watching the VMAs I noticed that Macklemore caught some serious (and hilarious) hate from followers. ie one of my followers tweeted "Macklemore is the white guy you date when you realize that you only date black guys" I was trying to figure out why Black People hate Macklemore so much and I think I figured it out.
Lets start this by saying black people are THE HARDEST race to please. You ever seen Showtime at the Apollo? You better entertain us quick or we will sandman your ass off stage so fast you will wish you never saw a stage in your life. We are HARSH. Not only do we want our cake, we want to eat it obviously BUT it better be our favorite cake with a cold glass of milk. Oh and dont let us find out that another race got a better cake cuz we'll want that one too. With that said we are very protective over our music. We have no problem with other races participating in music we create but you better damn sure make it some music that we like. A couple years back I wrote a post called 10 White People that Black People Love. Some notable musicians on the list included Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Eminem, Michael McDonald (lol) I explained why black people love them and the points ring so true to this post that I felt compelled to bring them to the attention of the readers.
So here is a list of the reasons I came up with.
Why Black People Hate Macklemore.
1. He's white (and rich)
this is sad but true. If your a rapper and white and rich, you've already got some ground to cover before your getting the black vote.
2. He has no Black cosigners.
If you notice all the white musicians we love have respected Black friends JT got Jay Z. Eminem has Dre , Robin Thicke has the envy of every Man on his arm in Paula Patton. We respect that and that brings me to the next point.
3. Macklemore dates a white woman.
Now you might be thinking, well he IS White, BUT I guarantee if he showed up to the VMAs with a black woman or at least acknowledged he like Black Chicks he would get more love.
4. He's got corny music.
Now this should be at the top of the list since we are discussing music but unfortunately its clear that we Black peopel don't give a shit whether your music sucks...if your Black (2 chains, lil Wayne, Trinidad, etc...)
5. His only black friends look like some really humble fat nigga
formally of the Harlem Boys Choir all grown up (Ray Dalton) and that nigga with dreads that hangs out in front the coffee shop reciting original poetry at 12 noon who you're still not sure is homeless or not. (his trumpet player)
Long story short. We dont understand Macklemore. He's "weird" black people dont do weird, and we really dont like different (so sad). We dont know how to pronounce his name and we hope he'll be forgotten before we actually figure out how to say it right. I'm sorry Macklemore. We're not jumping on your bandwagon anytime soon.