Friday, August 16, 2013

Theory 1. The Theory of Female Attractiveness

Women unfortunately have been given a bad deal.  In fact its so bad for women that they get lumped into minority status no matter what ethnicity they are.  That's pretty bad.  They keep trying to break that glass ceiling but no matter what we men keep finding ways to thicken and reinforce that damn thing.  Both sexes are to blame for this.  Men have the clear historical and genetic advantage here but every once and awhile a strong woman finds a way to hack that glass ceiling and do some awesome shit.  Let me be clear.  I am all about womens rights.  I am a proponent of the underdog and I want to see whoever can put in the work and capitalize on a window of opportunity.  Ok now that I got all the PC bullshit out of the way.  I have some theories about women that I want to share.  These theories have absolutely no academic value nor are they based on any legitimate research.  These are my ridiculous opinions that I stand beside and would be willing to argue till the death. Here's one.

Theory 1.  The Theory of Female Attractiveness

The theory states that if a woman wants any hope of continuing to be attractive into their 30s must NOT hit the peak of their attractiveness before 23. 23 is the golden age for women.  Most likely they're right after college and still have that naive youthful glow that comes from that fallacy that they are about to single handedly change the world with their degree in public health.  At 23 they have earned their attractiveness.  Maybe she wasn't the hottest freshmen but this played to her advantage.  Her self esteem is fragile still,  she's just now getting attention and barely knows how to deal with it which makes her more endearing.  Yes I guarantee you if she's hot at 23 she'll stay hot in to her 20's and THEN the beauty will begin to fade at around 30 but that just means she's getting ready for her renaissance period and thats 40's milf status.  I tell you if you cant pluck the ugly duckling at 18 and stick with her to 23, 23 is the time to strike.

Now conversely when a woman hits her attractiveness peak before 23, (and celebrities and rich bitches are a variable in this) the potential to disaster increases.  Now what happens is men go crazy for these girls at a time when all they want is attention.  These bitches get worn out quick and by 23 look like 27.  All the fucking and cocaine, beer, and cigarettes have given what would have been a supple lustrous complexion a shiny reddish glaze. Now black women won't get the complexion you can just tell they're worn out by how much time they spend in the club, how many spike studded heels they own, and how many neon dresses are in their closet.  These girls are over compensating for the fact that they're worn out.  They are the thirstiest of the female race and should be for temporary use only.  Trust me.  Seriously, next time you're in the club ask one of those girls what's their favorite NPR  radio show.  This is not to say that you want a nerd chick who listens to NPR, it's for experimental purposes only.  Honestly she'll most likely ignore you wondering why you'd want to have a serious conversation in a club which is totally understandable and exactly my point.

Now the cute 23 year old post grad will have a stronger more focused and endearing personality which comes with its own problems but were not talking personality here.  This 23 year old girl will age like wine and maintain herself as if its her job.  And thus, my theory holds true.  Test it if you don't believe me.

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