Monday, October 28, 2013

How to spot a "Kimmy"

So were calling them "Kimmy's" tentatively.  It didn't take long to come up with, it kind of flowed and we decided that its at least a decent place holder until we come up with something better....Forgive me, it would seem as though you've entered in the middle of a conversation.  Well then you'd be correct.  Me and Brudda J have been talking about this for a minute and when I say "minute" I mean maybe a couple of days.  Ok let me get to the meat of this. I and some other 5ivebruhs contributors have come to the conclusion that  very much like women and their "gaydar" Black men particularly of the millennial generation have developed an evolved perception which allows us to determine (sometimes on sight) if a white woman likes Black dudes.  We have not figured out what we will call this perception but we have determined what we will call the women. I will refer you to the first sentence.  "Kimmy's" as you might have surmised is a reference to the famed socialite and newly wed of the superproducer Kanye West.  Fitting. Dont' you agree?  Of course you do.  Now in order to make this post remotely worth reading I would be remiss if I did not give some of the less obvious signs that a white woman like's prefers or would consider dating sleeping with or marrying a Black man.  This science is incredibly flawed and to call is "science" is admittedly laughable but I think we've all figured that out by now.  Anyway, this, like women's gaydar, is a very delicate and situationally oriented perceptual theory for which research has been collected for many years.  Let us take a journey into the history of popular media to some of the more culturally relevant examples of this phenomenon.  The first that comes to mind for me is "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner".  Brown man, lilly white woman catches everyone off guard.  No man would have been able to guess she was into black dudes especially in that time.  Made for a great flick but I have a better example.  "To Kill a Mockingbird" If you haven't seen the movie then you're slippin but MayElla in this film exhibits text book "Kimmy" behavior.  She was having this strong black dude come over and do house work until one day when she asked him to bust up that damn chifferobe she could no longer contain her "Kimmy" and jumped his ass.  Classic. 

Now to expedite this post I will run the risk of making this more offensive than it already has been or would be if I could explain these in full detail.  I will now retreat to the list-post cliche. Forgive me.

She might be a "Kimmy" if....

She has red hair - Dont ask me why it just seems to be a trend

She has studied abroad to Africa or Central America

She is from another country - England, Eastern Europe, The Caribbean Islands are your best bets not South Africa though or any South American countries, not sure why.

Her best friend is black

If she isn't rail thin (which is a nice way of saying if she has what a Black man would describe as a fat ass)

She wears puffy jackets in the winter

She owns a pair of Timberlands

She is visibly a hipster

She knows who Juicy J is

Martin Luther King is her hero

She played organized sports in highschool and/or college

She talks about how cute mixed babies are

Let me say this before you judge.  I guarantee you EVERY black man who has gone to college has experienced at least 3 of the above generalized pigeon holed stereotype-based descriptions.  We just now have a name for what they are and can further collect data for future research to prepare our young brown youth.

And to the closet "Kimmy's" I would suggest you DFTF...if you dont know what that is, this link might help --->

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