Wednesday, September 25, 2013

A Male's Blunt Perspective on Life's Relationships

Bare with me on this one, it might sound a little disjointed, but I've had some recent conversations and experiences that have sparked this article.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, I can say what I've concluded. There are huge differences in the way guys see the relationships they have in their lives versus how women view theirs. Why do we subject ourselves to relationships in the first place? Is it a primal instinct derived from the times when community meant survival? If so, is that really necessary now? Those who choose not to have these stabilized relationships are usually seen as "weird" or in a lot of cases "socially awkward" but I feel there is more to it. To go along with the mental illness article written last week, how often is it said that these people that perform these heinous acts have social issues. Think of how much pressure society puts on every person, its honestly not a surprise that people are snapping left and right. Hell I feel at any moment I can have pressure to snap, but I guess my "saneness" prevents that. Whatever.

I've had several conversations with my male friends about what it takes to be a good friend or companion. Whether its been a drunken rant between us or a thoughtful analytic conversation, there was one theme they continued to pop up. And its all about getting "screwed over". But how crazy is that? You allow someone to get close to you as long as you don't fail. You don't have to excel at being my friend, you just have to not be terrible. Honor roll isn't necessary, and D's are technically still passing, just don't make an F. I'm sure all of the "D" students I knew from high school are doing awesome in life.

When I think about the friends that I have and that I'm closest with and trust, there's no real common factors minus they have never really screwed me over. Sure we all have our selfish moments in life, but the genuine people care enough to explain their stance on a situation to seek understanding. Women struggle with this. Please let me know the last time you heard a woman admit she was wrong and that a guy was right. They may say it in a sly way, but they simply can't say the words. And if you're a woman, have you said these words, ever? Why can't you just admit that guys are sometimes right?

I don't think I'm perfect, but I will admit if I've done something adverse to someone inadvertently.  I have a best friend that I do not get along with, at all. You would honestly think we hated each other. Our other friends have often said to us, "Man, I don't see how y'all are friends". Were hard on each other and have almost come to blows on several occasions, but there are not many people I trust as much as him and its hard to think of anyone I trust more. For a guy, that's all it really takes. As guys, we can battle day in and day out with someone, but the second a separate battle ensues a real friend puts bullshit aside and becomes my banner-man.We have an instinct to bond and create an army of "boys" and everyone is not allowed in the battalion. That's why we build relationships. To battle, to hunt (women) and to trust.
To have a relationship with someone is to allow that person the opportunity to disappoint. Only someone I care about can actually let me down. This makes them high risk, high reward.  Why would you give the opportunity to be hurt? I have no clue why women involve themselves in relationships other than the matriarchal desire to nurture and take care of other life. Maybe that's why they love puppies or dudes who are beyond messed up in the head. Simply a "helpless" creature that they can care for. Hell if I know.  Women are quite often irrational, and when you try to explain things to them rationally, you're seen as speaking condescending or talking at them rather than to them.  I've yet to encounter a woman who can give me the same reasoning for the same behavior twice. Women make little sense to dudes, and they honestly make little sense to themselves. Just my opinion.

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