Friday, November 6, 2009

Brenda's Got a Baby

For the past month or so, I have been performing in a children's show down in Orlando as part of my acting internship. This week, a school of young mothers came to watch the show. After wards we had a talk back, were basically the actors come from backstage and answer questions. I left this talk back deeply disturbed.

It wasn't that the mothers were rude. All were very polite, their questions thought provoking and funny, and they seemed generally interested in what we had to say. What was disturbing was each and every one of them was either black or latino, or a combination of both. And none of them were over the age of 18, and a few not even over the age of 15.

My friends used to joke when I graduated out of high school. I had reached a important milestone, I graduate out of high school, wasn't in jail, and didn't have any baby mamas. What I am starting to find is that my situation is increasingly becoming a anomaly for my community.

What upset me the most was I couldn't for the life of me grasp where the fathers were. Here were these children, either pregnant or with children of their own, working their hardest to attempt to create some sort of life for themselves and their children, and half the reason that they are in the situation they are in is missing. Granted I didn't know every situation, but this is becoming more common place.

This is unacceptable in our culture. We live in a time were condoms are practically given away; women have every form of pill, shot, patch, or fucking diaphragm imaginable; women are now at their most sexually liberated stage since the Celtics stopped having orgies every Easter. So why is this trend with in the Black community not only continuing but thriving? Why has my educated ass stopped being the norm? Why do stand in front of a room of middle school mothers and see not a father in sight?

Black Men, I grow increasingly ashamed of you. Because though we might not have to deal with the consequences of our actions, our children and our sisters do. All we have in the end is a room full of children getting ready to have babies.


LuvliLadi said...

This is a great article. I completely agree with you. It's very disturbing that what was once taboo is the norm. Children are growing up thinking this type of behavior is ok and it is definitely not ok. I believe it is selfish. These children are having children, that will grow up and have no proper guidance. They're parents are less than 20 yrs older than they are and have not finished learning or growing themselves, how are they able to raise a morally sound child? Something definitely needs to be done.

Maximillian said...

You witnessed the reason why it's the norm with your own eyes, julianelijah. It's because the fathers are absent from the lives of their children which unfortunately either starts or continues a cycle of absent fatherhood.

No one taught or encouraged them to not have irresponsible sex at such a young age. When the girl tells the boy she's pregnant, that boy is gonna run away because he don't know how to be a father. Regardless of whether the child is a girl or boy, the absence of a father will affect them in a painful way.

It would be awful if this were the end of the story. Educated men like yourself that aint the norm like you said can be a mentor to these fatherless children and end the cycle. Big Brothers Big Sisters can help accomplish this.