Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Jonny Says: Kill Yourself!!!

I was walking around at work and had this strong urge to tweet (find me on twitter if you actually know my name) everything I saw. I wanted to share all of my observations with the world. There was just some real unacceptable shit walking around. I just wanted to say..."Kill Yourself!!!" to all of these people so I decided to turn it into a post. So here it goes...a short rant in response to the shit that I see everyday. Just add "KillYourself!!" to the end of each of these statements.

*Disclaimer* if youre already offended by the statement "Kill Yourself!!!" then do just that...its an expression...go read something else.

If you generally smell of a dirty foot thats been shoved up an ass (and you can help it)...

If its taking you 6 years+ to graduate college

If your a straight black male and you dance in the mirror every time you hear Taylor Swift

If your breath smells like boiled nickels DIRECTLY AFTER you've brushed your teeth

If its 7PM and your STILL wearing the head wrap from this morning...sloppy

If you heard Waka Flocka Flame rap and thought it was good (google him if you're confused)

Ladies if you say things like "2 kids no stretch marks!!!" *in Sha Nay Nay's voice* while in line at the club

If you were in line at that club and heard the aforementioned statement then proceeded to ask her what kind of cocoa butter she used to avoid the stretch marks

If you were in line for the SAME club and heard that ignorant shit and turned to your boy and said "imma try to hit THAT tonight..."

If you wear the following brands: Pelle Pelle, Johnny Blaze, School of Hard Knocks, DADA, or Platinum Fubu

If you actually thought the prostitute you ordered wasn't faking it...

If you fart in elevators that have people in them and think that shit is funny.

If you DONT study for your GED classes

If youre 37 years old with a wife and kids and at this VERY moment you're drunk at your alma mater asking your frat brothers "So...Where the party at?"

annnnnnnnnnnd Im Spent......

Thanks for reading....Ill have some more Jonny Says articles for you in the future....

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