Sunday, November 22, 2009

rules of engagement

today's topic: rules of engagement

a few weeks ago, i posted a story about one of my hookups that went sour. to make a long story short, she wanted to kill me. during this experience, i formed a few rules that i live by when i'm hooking up with girls. these are my rules. if you do not like them, create your own we go © slick rick

- i always say what i want upfront: if you meet a woman and you only want her for sex, tell her that. if she's offended, then she wasn't the girl for you anyway. if she's not offended, make it happen. i say what i want to avoid spending extra money. listen to me, everybody pays for pussy in some way. you may not pay the girl directly, but you will spend a certain amount of money before she is comfortable with the idea of fucking you. whether it is one date or six dates, there is an undetermined amount of meals, movies, and drinks you'll spend money on before she is comfortable with herself.

**sidebar** this is why i do not understand women who say they would not have sex for money. what they mean to say is they would not directly have sex for money. here's the deal, if i spend $500 over the course of three dates, and on the third date, you now want to have sex with me, then your pussy costs $500. now, do not be offended when someone just flat out asks "what's your price" or "how much"...the funniest thing to me is when women tell me they would not have sex with a man for money. $10, $50, $100,'s hilarious. in their minds, their pussy is priceless. yet these same girls will go on two dates, and kick it up....the rejecting money for sex logic is something i believe is bullshit anyway. we are in a recession. gas is high. you mean to tell me, you'll turn down $20,000 for sex, from someone who's gonna nut in ten minutes anyway? i don't think so.

- the less information, the better: women i am genuinely interested in potentially being with, i give them my number. once they have my number, it's up to them whether they want to call me or not. if they do, cool. if not, moving on...when you meet a woman you only want to fuck, get her number first. simply because you already know, once you fuck this girl, depending on how good the sex is, she may drop out of the rotation... if i changed my cell phone number, there are women i've fucked who won't know if i'm alive. no facebook. no twitter. none of that shit. you fuck bitches, and duck bitches....that's it.

if the sex is good and she stays in the rotation, this is when you transition her from the bench to fuck buddy status. all of the fuck buddies i have had post graduation, i've been cool with. simply because they know their roles. i'm not trying to make long term plans with you, or even be with you in public. i'm coming over after hanging out at Fox & Hound. i'm gonna fuck, throw the condom in the toilet, flush the toilet, wash up in your sink with the good rags, and bounce... fuck buddies have your number for repeat hookups. first time jumpoffs, i'll find a number to call you from, just so you cannot have any information on me. it's that serious.

i know you're probably thinking "you don't need to be fucking a girl you wouldn't want to have your number" theory, i agree with that; however, knowing the woman doesn't have a lot of information on me, saves me from being an asshole. instead of saying, fuck off...i can let her exhaust herself trying to get back in touch with me. therefore, if i meet her again and she wonders what happened, i can say "i changed my number" and everything is cool again. a very passive/aggressive maneuver.

- i don't carry anything in the building: aside from condoms, i don't bring anything. i don't need to. i don't want anyone looking through my shit when my back is turned, or trying to steal from me when i take my post-sex piss. you don't need to bring the shirt you wanted to impress her with, or a last minute bottle of wine to get her drunk. it's already going down, just let it happen....

- i do not spend the night: in my college career of fucking around i learned a valuable lesson, i don't need to sleepover after i have sex with the woman of my choice. i compare it to loitering after robbing a bank. why risk getting put into harm's way after accomplishing your goal? get the ass, hit the gas....when you don't sleepover, you avoid trouble. as a matter of fact, once you bust that last nut, your terror alert needs to be on high. code red. get in, get school, i was not good at this. i got caught up in too many bullshit situations, but i never learned until my senior year. i realized then that women enjoyed putting me in danger situations because i'm naturally calm.

- delete text messages: i used to cheat on my college girlfriends, which is why i always deleted my text messages. i did it so much to where now, it's habitual....if you are going to go through the trouble to cheat, don't leave your phone laying around with some bad news. delete the shit once you've read it. don't be lazy...what will happen is this: one day your girl, or the bitch you're just fucking, will ask to see your phone. if you say no or avoid the subject, you'll have an argument. i hate arguing with women.... i just show her the phone. hand it to her, and watch her look at you distrustfully. she doesn't trust you anyway if she's asking to see your phone. so when you show it to her with nothing there, that's not enough for her. she'll continue to investigate, making herself miserable in the process.....just the delete the shit, and save your girl from herself.
i'm bob george, and i'm out this muthafucka...peace


Anonymous said...

I hope you don't have any sisters. To imagine a brotha being okay with another man doing all the shit you do to his sister... wow.

On the payment thing - dates are typically not just about the money, if they're an actual date. They're supposed to be about getting to know a person. Obviously you've been on a lotta jank dates, can't really blame you for that.

Damn I just don't get your utter disregard to the human psyche.

Your blogs are entertaining. But I'm so glad I don't actually know you!

ELA Exclusive said...

Well, I do know Brother George and I think he is being more honest than most people feel comfortable with. Having said that, I am not trying to downplay the feelings that is "lady friends" might have felt. Even honesty is not an open excuse to act like an asshole!!!

We all pay a price to be in relationships, sexual or otherwise, and yes, we all set our price. But, it's not always monetary, we decide who we choose to make emotional investments in as well. Everyone is used once in their life, if you have never been used, then you are worthless. "Using" has a negative connotation, but it is not always a negative thing. Positive using is more commonly known as "networking" or "family". The truth (as scary as it might be) is that we need one another; no man is an island.

Finally, this article reminds me in a very general way about my interactions with family, friends, and relationships. I have learned that even honesty can be a defense mechanism. Honesty and truth must still be given with a teaspoon of love, for the other person and for one's self!!!

~Peace & Light

Anonymous said...

Sigh. I dont even know where to begin, therefore i'll keep it...short lol.

I too know bob george and all of his openness and honesty. Two things i've come to like about him matter of fact. Usually, I can grasp onto at least a little of what he's saying. In this'm not impressed. I think this article should have been done differently or something. ELA said its just more honesty than more people are comfortable with. NO. it's just blatant disrespect to women in general. do you realize you're playing a really big, and might i add, stupid game? what part of anything you wrote in this article seems like an ok thing to do, to anyone? do you not realize how rude and offensive the statement about walking out the door and seeing a face reminiscent of a father leaving for good could be to someone? i, being a black woman who grew up with both parents all my life was offended. since you seem to have a lot of experience, you probably have some "fuck-buddy" readers, correct? how do you think they feel :/ were women mean to you in the past, therefore you feel as if you have the right to act this way?

i think you're cool bob lol. this article, not so much. let's try something a little different next week, k? :)

oh and fyi: keeping an empty text inbox would seem ten times worse to me then seeing msgs from women. now that, has guilt written all over it. if you have someone that has earned the right to go through your phone, you probably shouldn't have anything in there that needs to be deleted anyways. you're 23, stop cheating. just a thought :)

Bob George said...

At the start of this post, I should have stated this was my mentality during college. Post graduation, the stakes are higher and you can't continue to do the same things.

I sincerely appreciate the comments. Thanks for the reading.

Anonymous said...

I think that this article shows your blatant stupidity and lack of understanding of women. For every point that you think you cleverly made, I have a response.

You always say what you want upfront --You're lying. Every man has intentions, you're right, but you know within two seconds if you walk up to a quality woman and you WILL not say, yo, I'm just trying to fuck. No! And you must think that you're some kind of sexy that women would be okay with that. While there are women who enjoy the casual encounters as much as you describe, most would not go blindly into a situation with an asshole like yourself.

* side bar* Women don't go around saying, oh no, my pussy is priceless. He needs to take me here, buy me this, blah blah blah. Most decent women choose to share that experience with someone because it could build a stronger relationship. As most men say, they don't express their feelings through words, but rather through sex, so therefore women can use this as a means of helping you work through your feelings. If you're selfish (the 10 minute nut like you said you do), then we know you're not a Man that we would invest in.

The less information the better: Ignorance is NOT bliss. Knowing someone's past and sexual history is super important before you lay up with them. You don't know what someone is capable of if you never took the time to get to know them in the first place. And if you're laying up with a woman who doesn't have your number and you didn't make an investment in, then she wasn't quality to begin with and you can NOT apply that label to the majority of females out there.

Don't carry anything in the building or spend the night: Again, depending on the quality of women that's fine. Hell, you can do what you want. But to say that comment about they should be used to having men walk out of their lives like their fathers did is atrocious and the epitome of stupidity. It is NOT okay for men to not be responsible for their children. It is NOT okay for men to walk away from their families. it is NOT okay for you to make that statement. You're justifying your actions with an even deeper, more painful statement---like, I can't even fathom someone rationalizing his abuse of women with a lude comment like that.

Delete text messages: As anonymous said above, having an empty inbox is more suspicious. You're not up on some new game. Nothing you're doing is original. You're taking some old shit and writing your name on it with an ignorant stamp.

In conclusion, you're an idiot. You must be approaching women who care nothing about themselves because a woman in her right mind would NEVER talk to someone like you. I bet you were that ugly skinny dude who never got any play in high school but then you joined a Frat in college and all of a sudden thought you were the shit. Your story is typical and your blog is expected.

I'm a real woman, and I'm out this motherfucker. Peace!