a few weeks ago, i posted a story about one of my hookups that went sour. to make a long story short, she wanted to kill me. during this experience, i formed a few rules that i live by when i'm hooking up with girls. these are my rules. if you do not like them, create your own rules.....here we go © slick rick
- i always say what i want upfront: if you meet a woman and you only want her for sex, tell her that. if she's offended, then she wasn't the girl for you anyway. if she's not offended, make it happen. i say what i want to avoid spending extra money. listen to me, everybody pays for pussy in some way. you may not pay the girl directly, but you will spend a certain amount of money before she is comfortable with the idea of fucking you. whether it is one date or six dates, there is an undetermined amount of meals, movies, and drinks you'll spend money on before she is comfortable with herself.
**sidebar** this is why i do not understand women who say they would not have sex for money. what they mean to say is they would not directly have sex for money. here's the deal, if i spend $500 over the course of three dates, and on the third date, you now want to have sex with me, then your pussy costs $500. now, do not be offended when someone just flat out asks "what's your price" or "how much"...the funniest thing to me is when women tell me they would not have sex with a man for money. $10,000...no. $50,000...no. $100,000...no.....it's hilarious. in their minds, their pussy is priceless. yet these same girls will go on two dates, and kick it up....the rejecting money for sex logic is something i believe is bullshit anyway. we are in a recession. gas is high. you mean to tell me, you'll turn down $20,000 for sex, from someone who's gonna nut in ten minutes anyway? i don't think so.
- the less information, the better: women i am genuinely interested in potentially being with, i give them my number. once they have my number, it's up to them whether they want to call me or not. if they do, cool. if not, moving on...when you meet a woman you only want to fuck, get her number first. simply because you already know, once you fuck this girl, depending on how good the sex is, she may drop out of the rotation... if i changed my cell phone number, there are women i've fucked who won't know if i'm alive. no facebook. no twitter. none of that shit. you fuck bitches, and duck bitches....that's it.
if the sex is good and she stays in the rotation, this is when you transition her from the bench to fuck buddy status. all of the fuck buddies i have had post graduation, i've been cool with. simply because they know their roles. i'm not trying to make long term plans with you, or even be with you in public. i'm coming over after hanging out at Fox & Hound. i'm gonna fuck, throw the condom in the toilet, flush the toilet, wash up in your sink with the good rags, and bounce... fuck buddies have your number for repeat hookups. first time jumpoffs, i'll find a number to call you from, just so you cannot have any information on me. it's that serious.
i know you're probably thinking "you don't need to be fucking a girl you wouldn't want to have your number".....in theory, i agree with that; however, knowing the woman doesn't have a lot of information on me, saves me from being an asshole. instead of saying, fuck off...i can let her exhaust herself trying to get back in touch with me. therefore, if i meet her again and she wonders what happened, i can say "i changed my number" and everything is cool again. a very passive/aggressive maneuver.
- i don't carry anything in the building: aside from condoms, i don't bring anything. i don't need to. i don't want anyone looking through my shit when my back is turned, or trying to steal from me when i take my post-sex piss. you don't need to bring the shirt you wanted to impress her with, or a last minute bottle of wine to get her drunk. it's already going down, just let it happen....
- i do not spend the night: in my college career of fucking around i learned a valuable lesson, i don't need to sleepover after i have sex with the woman of my choice. i compare it to loitering after robbing a bank. why risk getting put into harm's way after accomplishing your goal? get the ass, hit the gas....when you don't sleepover, you avoid trouble. as a matter of fact, once you bust that last nut, your terror alert needs to be on high. code red. get in, get out....in school, i was not good at this. i got caught up in too many bullshit situations, but i never learned until my senior year. i realized then that women enjoyed putting me in danger situations because i'm naturally calm.
- delete text messages: i used to cheat on my college girlfriends, which is why i always deleted my text messages. i did it so much to where now, it's habitual....if you are going to go through the trouble to cheat, don't leave your phone laying around with some bad news. delete the shit once you've read it. don't be lazy...what will happen is this: one day your girl, or the bitch you're just fucking, will ask to see your phone. if you say no or avoid the subject, you'll have an argument. i hate arguing with women.... i just show her the phone. hand it to her, and watch her look at you distrustfully. she doesn't trust you anyway if she's asking to see your phone. so when you show it to her with nothing there, that's not enough for her. she'll continue to investigate, making herself miserable in the process.....just the delete the shit, and save your girl from herself.
i'm bob george, and i'm out this muthafucka...peace