Thursday, November 26, 2009

Ten Reasons There is a Double Standard When it Comes to Sex

“She’s a slut! She got the same hours as cookout on the weekends. Open til 3!”

“Why her coot look like a roast beef sandwich”

“He that DUDE! He get mad hoes!”

“Yo, that hoe let me bust, and I left her in the dust” “Man, you’re SOOOO COOL!”

Now we all know that there are crazy double standards when it comes to sex. The above lines are just examples that could be said about a guy and a girl with the SAME number of sexual partners. It’s true and sad, but its life. I have often pondered why this is. Below you will find 10 reasons I think dudes find women with a smorgasbord of sexual partners to be a hoe and why if they fuck 2 or 3 girls in one night, they become “That Nigga”. I don’t necessarily agree with the double standard, but these are some of my possible reasons…

Ten Reasons why there is a double standard between men and women when it pertains to sex. (To not say the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ a lot I will refer to them as Phillip and Vernon respectively)

1. The woman’s sexual instrument (Vernon) is internal while the male’s instrument (Phillip) is external. We all know it’s easier to wash the outside of a car than to detail the inside of a car. The inside has all those nooks and crannies where debris and peanuts can hide.

2. The shape of Phillip can pretty much stand the test of time. Unless you maintain Vernon, it can begin to misshape and discolor. (And smell horrendous, but this is also true for the fellas, its just easier to maintain Phillip)

3. Phillip behaves in the manner of a bat in baseball. Vernon is the ball. The bat consistently beats up the ball and the ball is frequently replaced. Vernon is like a tire, the more you drive the more the tread wears down. Makes for dangerous situations, especially when wet.

5. Phillip is like a pen. Mistakes are whited out completely and you can just write over it. Barely noticeable. Vernon is like a pencil. Good at first til it gets worn down. Then you can run out of lead and if you erase too much it smudges. Once both ends are worn down, it’s no good.

6. Men like to see their woman as pure and chaste, hence the white wedding dress. In a man’s head the more dips in the dirt you take in that dress the dirtier it gets. Guys don’t want a dirty bride.

7. Most times the male is the one bringing the condom and putting it on. (I don’t understand diaphragms still) This mentally is the guy protecting HIMSELF from her, not necessarily the other way around. The guys comes in with his condom, has sex and leaves. Vernon waits for another Phillip to come along equipped with his own condom. (Almost as though he used her, sorry it sounds so bad)

8. Men are seen as the aggressor when it comes to courting the member of the opposite sex. If the woman allows a lot of guys to court her she is seen as easy. Nothing in life worth having is easy.

9. Men are all about conquering. Women are a prized possession and have been seen as such since the days of cavemen. For Phillip to claim his own Vernon is a big deal. Like hand in glove.

10. Men rule the world. If it were reversed then women would probably make the standard reverse. Women don’t want to make themselves look bad and neither do men. Men have always been in power and you know what they say, the victors write history.

 What are your possible explanations?

Happy Thanksgiving!
L'Chaim... P!ed P!per


Anonymous said...

Vernons are self-cleaning.

Jonny Casanova said...

7 is my favorite and Vernons are NOT self cleaning or else there would be no smelly ones...that is all.