Tuesday, May 7, 2013

bob george's list of grievances

1. I need for the KFC in West Charlotte to taste like the KFC in South Charlotte. I love fried chicken. I make a conscious effort to not abuse the privilege Colonel da GAWD Sanders has blessed upon us earthlings. I don’t wanna be a fat ass mofo eating chicken and walking around with greasy ass lips. So I eat KFC in moderation; however, it wins by default. Bojangles doesn’t sell a 4 piece (go hard or go home). Church’s Chicken or Popeye’s aren’t in enough spots in the city for it to be worth the drive. Price’s Chicken Coop always has a line. Unless I’m just strolling through on Saturday, I gotta wait like 10 minutes.... KFC is open and ready, but they need to do better. One day KFC gives me the chicken, and it’s dry as hell. Like they left it out in the sun. The next day it’s wet as shit. Like they were in the backroom playing slip-n-slide with that mofo. McDonalds is consistent. The same shitty ass nuggets you gonna eat in Utah, are the same shitty ass nuggets off Beatties Ford Road. Nuggets is nuggets. KFC stop fucking around with my taste buds and get it together. You playing with my emotions © worm

2. Enough of the internet memes. Seriously. You feeling lonely and wanna talk about how women need a real man, and your ex ain’t shit….keep it to yourself, and go to sleep. You wanna make a joke using Kevin Hart’s face….keep it to yourself. You wanna post about keeping calm and being a real nigga, a fireman, or an astronaut….keep it to yourself.

3. Women, natural hair ain’t for everyone. I'll just leave it at that.

4. If you don’t wear glasses, take the glasses off your face. Asshole.

Fellas, stop liking pictures on Instagram of half-naked girls you don’t know.  She is not going to sleep with you because you hit like. You think she gonna just pass out pussy samples for all 482 of those likes. Stop being so cotdamn thirsty. You overinflating the value of these goofy ass hoes. Making them think these goofy ass wigs and eyebrows they wearing are actually a good thing. There is nothing sexy about your eyes being caked with pink and purple makeup, Seabiscuit remnants in your head, fake eyelashes, and duck lips. You increase the value of her look with each like. Next thing you know, more woman are gonna want that look. Then that look becomes the norm (which it kinda is now)…and now you have a generation of girls making bad decisions with their looks. Not cool.

6. JR Smith…..i’m done with this dude. First, he almost cost us the round one series against the Celtics by elbowing Jason Terry in the face. Then, this nigga at the club…not once, but twice in Boston….partying it up. Then this fool decides he's gonna drink away his jumpshot.... because he’s missed 30 of his last 42 shots in the last three games. 28.5%. Disgusting. Nigga, get yo monkey ass out the club, and get in the gym. Do you know what’s at stake? The NBA Finals nigga. You can win a ring. Instead, you trying to start with straight shots and then pop bottles. Get it together nigga. Because I swear to Patrick Aloysius Ewing, if we lose to the punk ass Pacers….I ain’t gonna do shit. But I will be very angry.

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