There have been a few instances where I have talked to a few people I care about and they are expressing some type of relationship stress. That may be in a love relationship, friendship or family relationship. Below are 5 takeaways from those conversations to maintain a healthy relationship. We here at 5ivebruhs have a really special bond and it doesn't just happen overnight and with no effort. This is not a complete list by any means, but just some things that have dawned on me during the past week or so.
One. Evaluate the company you keep. At this point in all of our lives we should have a pretty good idea about who we are and what we require in a relationship with someone else. If you can’t be cool with someone who is a liar, don’t involve yourself with someone you know to lie. If finances are a big thing, don’t be friends with someone to who money is no issue. How often do you see well to do folks chilling with bums. You are the company you keep. If being on time is a huge thing for you, don’t be friends with black people. Just kidding (sorta). There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being friendly and desiring a relationship with someone just because they seem like a decent person. You can be courteous, realize that this is a hi and bye type thing and keep it moving. No harm No foul.
Two. Be honest at all costs. Seems like the easiest way to ruin a relationship is to be dishonest. Trust is a very fragile thing. Some of us trust until proven wrong and some of us need our trust to be earned by every new individual in our lives. I, for one, am honest to a fault and need you to earn my trust. I have the worst conscience and it actually does something weird to me to be dishonest. I’m a terrible liar. I believe this keeps my close friends close because they know they always know I’m giving the truth, even if it hurts. It also keeps the fakes away because it makes me a "tough guy to get along with" (Drake. That's for you Walt).
Three. Man up. If there comes a situation where you are in the wrong, man the hell up. If you do wrong by someone say I’m sorry. I know pride is a bitch, but pride cometh before the fall people . Nothing can make someone look at you and think, “…this muhfucka…” faster than not manning up in your situation. This can be as small as admitting you didn’t wash your utensils before going back into the pot of curry goat (I definitely washed that damn spoon cuzzo), fessing up to the cops that the dime bag is indeed yours to as big as taking a murder rap for someone you actually killed. In all of these situations (minus that last one you murderous fiend) respect isn’t lost. They can be mad or whatever but if they are really your friend, they will FORGIVE you and actually know that you are less likely to betray them to cover your own ass. And say sorry damnit!!! Sometimes even if you feel like you’re not in the wrong, if someone is being stubborn and unreasonable, just say you are sorry for w/e and let them have the win. LET THEM HAVE IT. If you can see through the fog and see that this is pointless, its your responsibility to think rationally, if you care. Part of manning up is being humble and taking the high road. Sorry doesn’t really mean that much if you think about it, but it can mean the difference in having or not having a relationship. Real talk. And if someone is trying to keep it real and admit they are wrong FORGIVE THEM. I know I have trouble with forgiving, but I can admit that and try to fix it.
Four. Break bread. Nothing will keep a relationship going like breaking bread with your friend/partner/family member. A good meal and a good drink does way more than you know. When you eat and drink your body releases endorphins and these give you a feeling of comfort and at ease. You then associate these feelings with the company you’re keeping. Its science people. You gotta eat to live, and when you do this vital act with someone you care about doubles the sensation. Am I the only one who sees someone eating alone and feel like something isn't right? I always have the urge to go up and ask them what's wrong. They usually try to hide this by reading books, checking cell phones etc. Also, I just love to eat. Feed me and love me. My girl found this out early. Food gets you on a brothas good side quick.
Five. Show the person you are having a relationship that you care. This is the most important thing you can to maintain a long and meaningful relationship. I refuse to end a conversation with any of my family members without saying “I love you” whether the conversation was an argument or a celebration. And everyone doesn’t say it back. But that’s alright. They know I care about them and that’s enough for me. Even when I get off the phone with any of the 5ivebruhs, I will often tell them that I love them. Homo, mo homo, no homo I don’t give a shit. Its just how it is. Deal with it. Do something nice for someone who means something to you for no reason. Think about the last time you told your mom, dad, best friend, dog etc that you loved them. If you have to actually think about it, then stop thinking and start doing. Call them now, have a conversation and end it with “I love you”. They will be appreciative and that relationship is on its way to being fruitful.