Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Bougie Broads... Hate 'Em

Bougie Broads... (I don’t know how to spell this damn word so this is my guess)

So I know the bougie broad is nothing new in the game of life, but to me, they seem to be more prevalent than ever. Bougie can be defined as an adjective meaning extravagent, often to the point of snobbery. Usually used in relation to the conspicuous consumption of the urban upper-middle class. Dervived from "bourgeoisie" as seen on Urban Dictionary. Basically, these chicks are stuck the hell up. But why?

I recently encountered a chick I felt was mad bougie (mind you I was extremely drunk and acting a fool). This is probably the only good interaction I’ve ever had with a bougie chick and it’s probably cuz I just didn’t give a shit if she became my friend or not. I bullshitted and frankly talked a lot of shit about her but to her in a jokingly manner. I meant none of it. Well other than telling her that she was extremely bougie. Long story short were facebook friends. Maybe she’s a nice bougie broad? what makes a chick bougie? What about her upbringing makes her act in the stuck up manner that reeks of “I’m better than you”? Hell, bougie surpasses socioeconomic status. I’ve met/seen poor bougie chicks and rich bougie. From seeing them in public you cant tell which ones drive a Mercedes C-Class and which drive a Chevrolet Beretta.

Trying to talk to a bougie chick is like playing Russian Roulette with a rusty six-shooter. You pull the trigger enough you gonna get hurt. That shit will def fire on that ass. Sometimes the rust messes up the mechanism and you get nothing at all. No click. No boom. Just disappointment. I avoid this kinda chick altogether to save face and money. Bougie chicks don’t give a fuck about your feelings nigga. They treat most dudes that approach them like shit just cuz that’s an option and cuz their bougie friends do the same thing.

But why be bougie and make yourself seem unattainable? We all know you get down just like all the other chicks in the club, but why do you put yourself on a pedestal? Is it because you want every guy to want you but know they can’t have you? But why be that asshole?

You can always tell a bougie chick when you see one. They usually have a really expressive hair-do and are surrounded by like females. They will usually have a table in the club. Why? Cuz the stilettos they got on are for looking, not walking. She will have several drinks empty around her that some foolish nigga bought before being dismissed. They will look mad unapproachable. And since I’m currently living in DC, they will be plentiful.

Why am I writing this article. I dunno. I just don’t like the bougie broad. I shall finish this blog with a poem I’m making up as a go.

Ode to the bougie broad…

Girl oh girl, why are thou so bougie?
Why do you turn me away so rude as if I wear a kufi.
No I do not sell bean pies, I just wanna know if that shake comes wit some fries
Please believe me bougie girl, I tell thee no lies.

I like the way you wear your stilettos and get your hair done
And if you would like a cranberry and vodka, I’ll buy you one.
But if you take this drink and act like you don’t know me
I’m no longer gonna be a nice lil homie.

If you act like I all of a sudden don’t exist
While you and your girlfriends slowly get me pissed
I’ma lose my mind as well and I’ma choke your ass
Cuz I’m tired of ya’ll trying to play every nigga that pass

You set yourself apart with your bougie acrylic nails and sit on high,
Yes I’d love to have your number and caress your thigh…
Shit aint happening.

If your interior was shown on the outside you know how you would appear?
You’d prolly look like Scooby doo or Cruella Deville my dear.
I love to take you home and make you the last chapter in my book,
Too bad your stank ass personality don’t match your looks.
L'Chaim... P!ed P!per

1 comment:

ELA Exclusive said...

I enjoyed your poem, very Chappelian.

I think the type of girl you described might be bougie, but more so, she is just STANK! I think there is a difference. I don't think a bougie girl would allow any guy she's not really feeling to even buy her a drink. Stank girls are loud and extra, if not literally, certainly with how they dress.

Bougie girls are labeled as such because they "speak like a white girl" or they refuse to drink beer, or eat fried chicken, or to watch Tyler Perry plays, or use the word nigger more than a plantation owner!

Bougie girls get a bad rep, while Bougie black men are given promotions. I will be bougie ANY day of the week over being the stank-ass version of a black female that is portrayed by American society!

Peace & Light,

ELA Exclusive (name says it all)