Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Online Dating

There has been a pretty big influx of online dating options recently along with the acceptability of them. Its no longer a huge secret that people are meeting potential mates through electronic means. It was bound to happen.  Websites like Match, Ok Cupid, EHarmony, Zoosk and Plenty of Fish (just to name a few) have millions of members and tons of ads boasting about their success. New renditions of these sites like the Tender and Hinge app take the root of online dating and make it as simple as swiping someone’s face in a direction if you find them attractive or not and when a match is made you are notified. I’m not ashamed to say it, but I have found success on a few of these websites, as a ton of my friends have, in finding friends, potential mates and my actual girlfriend now. We are happy as hell, have a beautiful apartment and a stunning young puppy together. Shout out to my homie Chevy------------->>>. His name comes from the fact that we both drive Chevys and our first meeting location was Chevy’s TexMex Restaurant. Awwww.

Anyway, the purpose of this article is to reflect on my past experiences on these sites and to encourage you to give them a try. Not saying you will find your soul mate or anything, but if nothing else it’s a crash course in finding what you want and don’t want in a potential mate. It’s kinda like being able to test drive and take home a bunch of cars for a few days before deciding which is right for you. Man that would be sweet.   Here are a few tips for those who are considering trying it or are having a little bit of trouble in your process. Might not mean much, but this is from personal experience and if you read this blog you think highly enough of our opinion to waste a few minutes at work.  None of these suggestions are fail-proof, but are good to know.
  • Goal. Relationship or hook up. If you know what you want once you decide to do it, you can save yourself potential headaches or heartaches. If the person only wants to see you at night, you know what’s up.
  • Medium. If you pay for a site like EHarmony, know you will meet people who are looking to settle down and be in something serious. If you’re on a free site, you are more likely to find hookups. This isn’t 100% true, but is good to be aware of.
  • Be picky. There are millions of people on the sites, so find one you actually really like. If not, you will eventually end things for no other reason than knowing you can find better online. There are millions of people to choose from.
  • No one is perfect. Being picky doesn’t mean finding perfection. It won’t happen. If everyone was perfect, online dating wouldn’t exist.
  • Limit online conversation. Don’t get Manti Te’o-ed (or catfished). Meet the person within a week and in a public place. Its called online dating, but the dating should be done in real life. My limit was about 5 messages before I said lets meet.
  • Meet people, don’t date. I had a strict rule about the first time I see someone in real life, it’s a meeting and not a date. I do not pay for her, even though I am old school. Use the word “meet” and not date. It relieves pressure. If the guy doesn’t want to pay its because he’s not really into the female. I don’t believe in wasting money on someone I never want to see again. If he pays, there’s a good chance he wants to see her again, so he’s leaving a good impression. If she is very adamant about paying for herself, she’s being honorable and probably doesn’t want to see you again. Ladies should always do the fake and offer to pay twice. It’s the respectful thing to do and goes a long way in the guys head.
  • Sites without actual profiles (meaning words describing who they are) are mainly for hookups. Take them for what they are.
  • Don’t be afraid to show you like someone.  Waiting to see if they contact you first is dumb. Go with how you feel, because if its truly mutual, then they will respond in a similar manner.  If I really like a girl, I won’t think she’s weird for texting me the next day. Online dating has changed the game. Shouldn’t the “rules” change too?
  • Don't be a damn liar. If its 2013 use of pictures from 2010 when you looked way better is not allowed. You will only waste your time and others. If nothing else, you want to be a delightful surprise not a terrifying realization.
All in all, I would say keep your hopes for online dating in check. There are some weird ass people in the world. I’ve met some of them from these sites. Go in with the thought process that you WILL learn something about yourself and others but you MIGHT find someone worth finding. Either way, have fun with it.

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