Tuesday, July 23, 2013

the royal baby...and other things.

random thoughts.

1. i could care less about the royal baby. that story is for women and foreigners. there was a guy at the Y who spent five minutes talking to me about everything that would need to take place for the little royal baby to become King. i did a 180, and walked away. i doubt we’ll be speaking about anything in the future.

2. i have a few friends who are long overdue from receiving a phone call from me; however, i like the thought of talking to them instead of actually following through.

3. i wish kanye would just finish the job, and beat down the paparazzi. enough yelling and clapping your hands. you need to grab a camera, smash that joint, and start stomping on some whites and foreigners (because only foreigners and white people would sign up for jobs as paparazzi). this has the potential to be the greatest internet video of all time. can you imagine kanye, finally tired of people flashing lights in his face, snapping and stomping the shit out of some saudi arabian dude and beating him until he sees the “white light?” i need him to be two inches from death before kanye throws some money on the ground like sonny corleone and walks struts away with his crew.

4. football season starts in 44 days.

5. we need to shut down espn between the nba draft and the start of nfl preseason.

6. if you ever wanted to know what the 1940’s were like, look no further than baseball. that sport hasn’t changed, unfortunately.

7. my favorite rap album in the last two years is run the jewels by killer mike and el-p. if you like hearing about violence, people getting robbed, and good old fashioned gangsta rap, this is the album for you. plus it's free.

8. i’m not a fan cellulite. i don’t know when that became fashionable for women.

9. i wonder who the next president will be. it’s about that time for champaigning and campaigning to kick up in october.

10. i’m going to see beyonce perform this saturday. not even going to lie, i’m lightweight excited about this. i don’t know that many of her songs, aside from the hits, so it’s going to be interesting to see how this goes. the last artist I saw in concert, didn’t know their music, and became an instant fan was broken social scene. so hopefully, she does well. if it’s anything like the super bowl, its money well spent.

11. i have a love/hate relationship with dogs. one on hand, i like the neediness of dogs. on the other hand, i hate the neediness of dogs. they’re cool to pet for a second or two, but then they stay in your face and always want to play. cry when you’re away. follow you around. i don’t want to sound like a rover killer or dog hater or anything, but I can do without the attention from dogs….but, they're extremely loyal, and generally cool to be around. dogs are like the friend that "plays too much". they mean well, but just dont know when to chill unless you check them.

12. but i really hate cats.

13. this is going to sound very “rapper/athlete on mtv cribs” but i’m getting some fish. fish are the perfect medium. they’re always there, they look cool, and if done properly add to the beauty of your place. i wouldn’t get an aquarium with my current place, but eventually…fish are being bought.

14. ladies, if a man tells you he doesn’t want you and his actions are reflective of that…move on. don’t waste your time. you look foolish.

15. i forgot how much i loved peanut butter and jelly. it's the go-to sandwich that never dies.

No comments: