Monday, July 29, 2013

The Ruthless

So a lot of controversy was raised with Superman’s ending (spoiler alert, he kills Zod) because Superman in his mythology traditionally doesn’t kill. Yet in this movie Superman is kind of ruthless. So I had a thought. Are Batman and Superman really noble, or colossal pussies? If their pussies then who are the most ruthless Superheroes in the multiverse? Superheros who still manage to murk niggas on a regular biases.

10. Deadpool: He’s crazy, and carries enough weaponry to destroy a small nation. 

9. Venom: He walks a thin line between superhero and villain, yet one thing remains the same. If you fuck with him, he will eat you.

8. Rick Grimes: Not a superhero to say the least, but one ruthless motherfucker. Case in point, zombies attack surround by zombies, the woman he’s sleeping with and she grabs on to him. Does he try to save her? Nope, he chops off her hand and uses her as bait.

7. Dream: Lord of Dreams, Dream comes up with some interesting ways punish his villains. Namely 60 years of continuous nightmares to say the least.

6. Green Lanterns: Traditional they don’t kill people. That was until Sinestro tired to destroy the universe. With the ability to create anything they can imagine with they came up with some interesting ways to dice their enemies to bits.

5. Spawn: I was introduced to Spawn on that old MTV block that showed the animated show along side Aeon Faux. In it he stopped a potential mugging by ripping a thug's arm off and beating him to death with it. The dude only wanted the woman’s purse. Ruthless.

4. Preacher: A disgraced priest with the voice of God, literally anything he says you have to do. So at the end of one story arch when a corrupt detective refused to leave him alone, Preacher promptly told him to go fuck him self. Which he did. Yeah that imagery still makes me cringe.

3. Wolverine: No not the pretty emo punk bitch that he’s turned into, but the original 1980s Wolverine, whose opening statement was “I am the best at what I do, and what I do isn’t very nice” when the first two panels of his iconic graphic novel is him cutting through a bear. His super power is unbreakable claws for Christ sake.

2. Punisher: nuff said.

1.Wonder Woman: Wonder Woman has been around literally as long as Superman and Batman, and yet her rogue gallery isn’t nearly as long as the two of theirs. Why? Cuz she murders bitches.

Honorable mentions: Mace Windu, Electra, and Damian Wayne.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, Maye Swindoo.