Tuesday, June 11, 2013


Love & HipHop Atlanta…or better known on black twitter as #LHHATL

I love this show.

People who know me may find this surprising. Let me explain something to you: I love foolishness. Nothing makes me happier than seeing people spaz out and want to fight each other. If you enjoy foolishness, this is the show for you. It’s a homogenized version of worldstar…or as I call it (WORLDSTAR!!!)  I’ve waited a few weeks before I decided to give my two cents on the show; so if you are going to watch the show, or missed yesterday’s episode, do not read this post (SPOILER ALERT!)...I left out Benzino and Ariane because they do not matter.

Drew/Traci – of all the women on the show, I hate dislike her the most (the only woman I hate is Sallie Mae). They ended their relationship seven years ago, and she has clearly not moved on. She at his house, spazzing out on him for having another woman (a much better looking woman) over, crying, and they’ve been done for seven years. They have a child together. I can understand if he had another woman over and the child was there, but the kid wasn’t there, and she’s going off. She can’t even have a conversation with him without bringing up something from seven years ago, YET she still wants him around, and is clearly still interested in him (she reminds me of too many  women I know. I guess the dislike for her is personal)…she’s a mess. She gave him 25k (matching his 25k) to open a sneaker store. Then got mad when the dude tried to hire cute girls. Calling them “groupie hoes”.... Having said all of this, I was on Drew’s side until he gave his “business partner” 50k and never signed a contract beforehand. That’s just fucking stupid. And what’s worse is he had to go to his ex, that emotional ho, and explain to her that he lost the money, and he didn’t even get a chance to beat dude up….all this over a sneaker shop. I’m done with them. Regardless of whether they get the money back or not, I’m done with them.

Mimi – she is the most talking loud, not doing nothing-est person on the show. 1st of all, who walks into their ex’s home, and decides to take a nap because it’s late at night, then gets mad when he’s sleeping with someone else. I understand they have a child together, but you can’t be upset if you both agree to move on, and get mad when he does. Then she decides, we’re going to try and make the relationship work, and I’m going to move in….that fails…. To make this short, this season she’s been slapped with a garden of flowers, called a “dumbass bitch, maid ass bitch” in her own home, and she’s dating a man her friends think is gay. She’s losing every episode….what’s worst is when I found out that her name is Oluremi. Then her behavior made sense.

K. Michelle – regardless of what you think about her, she’s quick to hit. If you get in an argument with this woman, it needs to be in a room with nothing around….cuz anything from bouquets to candles are getting thrown. I can’t really hate on anything she’s done this season. It’s not her fault that she can keep talking shit around her friends, and no one called her out on it except Rasheeda. Everyone else just tolerates it and just pushes it aside….one thing I will say, she has the worst boob job I’ve ever seen on a black woman. It looks like two big ass speed bumps in the middle of her chest. Hard and spacious. Her ass job is standard slut booger variety. Meaning, no one is second guessing whether it’s real, and she’ll always take the time to tell you “IT’S REAL, CUZ I PAID FOR IT.”….let em know © heisman boyz

Che’ Mack – I stepped away during a commercial to get something to eat. I come back and Stevie J is in the studio with someone new. They hadn’t showed a backshot of her and I was like….cot-dayummm….who. is. this?...her ass is righteous. perfect shape. like a crescent moon...and then they showed her face, and all of that interest went away. “It must be your ass, cuz it ain’t face”….wise words from the prophet Nelly of the St. Lunatics….that being said, I like Che’. She’s cool. She just needs to fix her teeth. Even though her tattoos look like shit, she gets a pass because I like women with a lot of tattoos. A lot of tattoos. It’s a turn-on for me….she just needs to lay off the liquor.

Karlie Redd – she’s making a K. Michelle diss track, and she's poppin in Utah. Smh.

Shay/Erica/Scrappy/Momma Dee – Scrappy is…..man, where do I start. Bullet points will make this easier
  •           You can’t be a playa and have your fiancé (Erica) fighting your mother (Momma Dee). Nothing about that is cool or healthy. It’s a relationship doomed for failure because you are staying together out of spite against your mother. It’s foolish.
  •           You can’t expect your engagement to be successful if you propose to your fiancé after sleeping with your side chick (Shay) a week earlier.
  •           You can’t treat a side chick like she is #1. Because she is going to be a scorned woman. And a scorned woman will always want to know why things didn’t work out, and hold it over your head. If she’s on the side, she isn’t a friend with benefits. She is a side. There is a difference. He was confiding in her like their friendship was before the sex. Once they started hooking up, you either gotta be with her, or just tell her “you on the side, play your role”. I remember the first time I heard that piece of information. I thought it was genius, but I didn’t think men would speak to women like that…and then I learned from Patrice O’Neal junior year in college, and that shit works. I miss Patrice (RIP). Side chicks will always have a choice, but no one can fault you for putting it out there the way you want the arrangement to work. Scrappy lifting all these weights and making all these gangsta records, and threating to “put the paws on someone” but stay getting caught up in some sucker shit.
Joseline/Stevie J – let me just say, Stevie J made some of my favorite songs in life (Honey, You’re Nobody Til Somebody Kills You, and the Only You Remix to name a few)…so I will never say that he’s not talented. However, when was the last time this dude put out a song that was good. We can’t go back to 1997. Joseline has been waiting on this album for a minute and it just ain’t coming. Not only that, but it would be wack…He’s another dude who keeps doing sucker shit. He’s running around Atlanta trying to control Joseline and set her straight. All he needs to do is get her a Burlington Coat Factory jumpsuit, or buy her something shiny, and she’ll do what you tell her to do…I respect Joseline. She realizes that she is black twitter famous, and she’s doing what she can to capitalize on that. And she has provided me with the funniest one liners on the show… Plus, out of everyone on the show, she seems to be the only one working. Trying to make things happen. Her and K.Michelle.....Stevie J, control your ho.

Rasheeda/Kirk – this storyline is so goofy I don’t know whether to believe it, or think Kirk has lost his mind. They have been together for over ten years. Kirk has a gang of outside children from his previous relationships. She is pregnant. He’s stressing about having to pay and raise another child because things are financially tight…understandable….here’s where it gets stupid. He blames his wife for getting pregnant (he claims it’s not his fault, because he used the 100% full proof pullout method), he wants her to get an abortion, a blood test, and no longer wants to be married. The fuck? After ten years together, if she gets pregnant, it’s yours. I could understand if he thought she was cheating and he wanted a blood test. But he knows, she’s not cheating, he’s just afraid. And he’s pressuring her to kill the baby….this dude ain’t shit. He’s a bad manager of her career (I mean really…who tells anyone to jump on a diss track to make money)…the sad part about this is she really loves him, and just keeps listening to his bad advice.

Which has been the theme for the show…the blind leading the blind. People giving advice to each other who don’t take their own advice…I just laugh and keep it moving.


1 comment:

L.A. said...

LOL to ALL this. I like K and Joseline simply cause they say whatever they want and it's usually funny to me. Can't stand Shay, Mama Dee (although crazy funny), Mimi, or Stevie J. Oh I forgot Karli, she's so irrelevant. I'd rather you gave a few lines on how Arianne is at least attractive than give Karli acknowledgement lol. I need to catch last night on DVR.