Monday, June 10, 2013

Where the Brown People At? Game of Thrones Addition Spoilers


With the Fifth book out  and the end of the third season on HBO, Game of Thrones (or A Song of Ice and Fire for true nerds out there) has pretty much solidified itself in American culture. With that said, I know all you Blerds (black and brown nerds) are wondering, “Where all the Black/Brown people at?” Well their there, you just have to look for them. Westeros is essentially Britain with parts of southern Spain thrown into the mix (you have to wait till they get to the Martell’s which is kind of a desert people.)But the rest of the world is surprising brown when you think about it. So here's a compressive look at the Brown people of Game of Thrones

Where they at?

To find brown people in A Song of Ice and Fire, you have to move away from Westeros and go south. Really far south. There’s an Island were all African described folks seem to come from called the Summer Isles (think the Caribbean.) To the east you kind of have Asian people in an area called the Jade Sea. Then The Dorthraki are in the East as well and they’re brownish though hard to put a finger on what. Lastly Slaver Bay seems to be made up of Middle Eastern, which is problematic for a number of reasons.

The Show
These are characters that are played by Brown actors, actors who consider themselves brown, or non-WASP looking people along with the breathing status of said character.

Grey Worm- Balless but Alive.

An Unsullied who was purchased by Daenerys, who later becomes the voice of the Unsullied and her major advisor. Grey Worm’s races was never specified in the books, but in the show he’s played Jacob Anderson, a light skin British brother whose got a wicked spear game (pause). He speaks in monosyllabic sentences and tends to brood a lot. But if you had someone chop off your nuts you wouldn’t look so pleased either.

Salladhor Saan-  Alive but looking for better Lighting.

Prince of the Narrow Sea, Saan is a pirate-lord and mercenary. Because of his friendship to Davos Seaworth, he fought with Stanis Bratheron in the Battle of Black Water. After losing he left, to go do pirate things. Technically being from Lys (one of the islands of Braavos, read the book) Salladhor is not black, but the Zimbabwean actor Lucian Msamati plays him. Msamati is a pretty interesting guy having founded a theater group and is a playwright and director. See, the more you know. 

Missandei-  Bathing the Khalessi, and explaining obvious plot points

We at 5ivebruhs have dubbed her sexy translator chick, which is kind of unfair. Missandei is a Naathi (one of the Summer Isles) slave who is freed by Daenerys and becomes her translator in Slavers Bay.  In the book she becomes one of Daenerys’ many lovers, though the show only hints at it. Missandei is played by the oh so attractive Nathalie Emmanuel, a British soap star. The shows have kind of regulated her to filling in the gaps that would usually given to us by George R. R. Martin’s prose. Here’s hoping she gets a little more interesting.

Xaro Xhoan Daxos-  Locked in a Safe

Powerful merchant prince of Qarth, and overall douche bag, he’s the first black guy to try to play the game only to get royally fucked up.  By being a dick he got his men killed, and he locked in a vault for all time. Shakespearean actor, Nonso Anozie, whose master of the English Language didn’t exactly help him when he got his ass beat, played him.

Talisa Maegyr-  Knife in the Belly

Healer from Volantis, (one of the islands of Braavos) and the reason Robb lost his head.  Talisa is played by Spanish actress Oona Chaplin, who is the grand daughter of Charlie Chaplin and the great grand daughter of Eugene O’Neil (every theater nerd reading this blog just had a nerdgasm…so one.). Even though Braavos are Olive tone people, Oona considers herself “non-white” which puts her on our team. Take that college application race checklist.

Khal Drogo-  Suffocated

I’m starting to notice a pattern. Deanery’s’ crew is starting to look like the rainbow coalition. Khal Drogo was the chieftain of the Dothraki tribe that Deanery’s’ gets sold to. At first he’s kind of a dick, but later grows to love her (granted she’s like 14 in the book and he’s 30 but I mean age ain't nothing but a number.) He dies by some witch whose village he burns down and because Deanery’s is a big old softy at that point. Native Hawaiian/American Indian actor Jason Momoa played Khal Drogo.

Rakharo: Headless in a Desert, Kovarro: I mean who even remembers this guy, Aggo: Some Extra who got lucky

The Bloodriders of the Khalessi. Rakharro is played by Asian/British actor Elyes Gabel, Kovarro is played Steven Cole who is very clearly a brother, and Aggo was some random extra but because he’s Dothraki I’ll lump him in.

Shae:  Washing Sansa’s bed sheets

Tyrion’s girlfriend, or that woman with that weird accent if your American, Shae is a prostitute that is one of the few people who actually likes Tyrion Lanister besides his fans. She’s played by Sibel Kekilli, whose a Turkish German Muslim former pornstar turned award-winning political actress who fights for rights of Islamic women (brain just exploded). 

Random Slavers/Unsullied/Mercenaries: Running around looking scared, glowering as their slaves are taken away, or standing at painful attention hoping not to fuck the shot up.

As Daenerys goofs off around slaver bay she runs into an assortment of Brown faces that she either chops off their heads, burns, or frees from the bonds of slavery (there is no middle ground for this woman.) Luckily or unluckily these Brown or Olive people have been cast as tan looking extras. Also based on the one shot of the entire Unsullied army, it looked like the Patriots football line up, so we can assume there's brown people fighting off camera whenever some person runs into frame and regales us with a stunning battle monologue that we will never see due to budget restrictions.

The Books: These characters were not included in the show. Which isn't a shame because they are pretty terrible written.

Jalabhar Xho

An Exiled prince from the Summer Islands, he kind of hangs around Kings Landing hoping for an army to one-day take back his lands. He usually just attends Tourney’s and flirts with Margery.

Alayaya and Chataya

Before I wrote this I didn't realize at least one of them gets a cameo. This is a shot of a random extra whom we assume is Alayaya or her mother Chataya. Because the show doesn't specify, I'm going to keep them here.  Hoes that work for Tyrion and Varys. Alayaya is tortured because she ends up taking the fall for Shae. Her part has been replaced by a white character who Joffery shoots full of arrows in the show.


A sellsword. Has white hair and rocks a shit ton of gold rings like a Run-DMC reject.

Bill Bone

Old ass sellsword.


A red priest (like that chick who gives birth to shadow monsters.) He’s currently looking for Daenerys but its unclear for what. He’s a wild card at this point in the book and is quickly becoming a major plot point. So we may have another Black actor join the ranks in another three years. Describe as 6'2 with Black skin, with red tattoos across his face. So Idris Elba? Like all red priest he knows more then he’s telling the readers, but seems to have his own agenda. There isn't a google group for followers of R'holl, because none of them have any idea what the other is doing.

No comments: