Monday, June 3, 2013

Wonder Woman movie needs to happen, and here how it won’t suck.

Wonder Woman Fan Art:
With the release of Man of Steel later this year, DC’s big two will have their official reboot and lunch back into our collective imaginations. But DC actually has a nerdy trinity, and one part of it has been royally fuck of its potential. If Batman is the Holy Ghost, and Superman is the Father, then Wonder Woman is the often overlooked daughter, and writers have been taking her name in vain. David Goyer, the man responsible for DC’s revival into the lime light of popular culture by penning both Man of Steel and Dark Knight franchises, recently said, “Batman is hard, Superman is harder, but Wonder woman is the hardest”. Check out this awesome Comic's Alliance article for his compete interview: click here. What I would like to add, Hollywood is that it isn’t impossible and here’s how.

Get A Woman Writer
Gail Simone:

The recent reboot of the Tomb Raider series has seen critical acclaim for its story and its portrayal the iconic Laura Croft. Croft until recently had morphed into a weird gamer fetish, with her unnaturally large globs on her chest and almost vapid personality. But her new writer simplified the character, and made her believably a woman, not a fantasy female pixilated form. A woman writer could do that for Wonder Woman, and has. Gail Simone wrote the recent run of Wonder Woman in comics, which saw her  return to form in the DC community. No one will be able to understand the nuances of what it means to be a women then a woman.
Tomb Raider Reboot:

 Cast for Strength, Not Boobs

Please, Please, Please no Megan Fox:

Wonder Woman at her core is a warrior, even more war like the other two members of the trifecta. She was raised to compete in a culture that glorifies fighting and be the baddest-fucking gangster in her entire kingdom. But, Hollywood, seems afraid of physically strong looking women. Which is strange, because there has been precedence. Sarah Connor was introduced in Terminator 2 doing pull ups with a back that look like you iron clothes on, Ripley punch a Xenomorph in the face. But as we moved into the 2000s, we America seem to be getting a case of “we scared of strong vagina” syndrome. I believe this is a product of a move away from 80s action and into comic books we’re we have more cases of damsel in distress motifs and gender issues, but this makes doing a Wonder Woman movie problematic. Hollywood has often focused more on the marketability of hot actress then whether she can believably play that character. Dear casting directors, Wonder woman is an Amazon, not Ms. America. If she’s going fight for truth and justice, make sure she looks like she handle that, not play to the lowest common dominator. As much as I like Megan Fox, she's not a good actress, and her Wonder Woman would look like Haily Barry's Catwoman. Wonder Woman doesn't pout her lips, or speak in a breathy voice. Wonder Woman is a character that took out Russian spies with nothing but her self and a big ass machine gun.  For a better casting choices then Megan Fox, please click here.

Stay True To The Mythology

Golden Age Wonder Woman:
DC isn’t as bad at this as Marvel is, but I feel it needs to be said. Wonder Woman is believable in her world, and with her world’s rules. We don’t need an overly gritty Wonder Woman, and any camp will kill any chance this character has in order to be taken seriously. Go back to the source material; look at Gail Simone’s, Brian Azzerello and Cliff Chiang’s wonderful runs with the character.  Model movie after that, and not some Michael Bay fantasy.

Badass Moments Galore

She's blocking Bullets, Blind Folded:
If you can make Tony “I’m a Drunk” Stark look like a badass outside his little tin can suit, then the same justice needs to be done to the First Lady of Comics. Wonder Women needs to have as many, if not more badassary then any of her predecessors. No one should be timid when approaching this character.

The Costume

This one is tough. As much I harped on staying true the mythology, Wonder Woman’s costume is going to be a stretch to be feasible. This falls into that whole, “Why do women barely wear any amour,” trop that plagues fantasy and sci-fi for decades. Here you are in the middle of a war wearing a bikini, is not going to make for much badassary. A nod at the old costume might be interesting, but we really should see an end of women rushing into battle cover only in sheer fabric against some horror of the universe. Batman doesn’t fight the joker in his underwear, nether should Wonder Woman.

Focus on Making A Great Movie, Not Ticket Sales

In the end, there will be people unhappy with this project. Wonder Woman is not going to sell ticket, if producers focus on making a movie just to sell tickets. Batman Begins was a HUGE risk and the only reason it worked was because the Nolans’ focused on telling a decent story. Wonder woman is her own character, that needs the same amount of attention and care that Batman and Superman get on a regular bases. Even when someone royally fucks up a character (ahem Superman Returns) they still reboot it. Wonder Woman is just as or even more important then either one of them, and the only reason she hasn’t been as successful is because people are too scared. Look how much we ate up Black Widow in The Avengers, and who the hell knew or cared about that character before that movie. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…yeah that’s right no one. So do us a favor, stop fucking around, and make the movie we all been waiting 70 years to see.

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